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[quote=Anonymous]Empathize with your DC. Applying ED was a big decision. And feeling nervousness, panic, annd even regret after a big decision is normal for many people (“buyer’s regret”). But it’s just a feeling - and not a sign that we made a mistake. I think of the feeling as my mind’s way of recognizing that an action I (thoughtfully) took could have a big impact going forward. (I’m someone who loves having options and control, so a commitment like ED would likely stress me out, too … temporarily.)

I’d recommend 30% empathizing, 30% validation, and 40% expressing trust in DC’s process and judgment.

Staying steady (you’re the adult) and modeling positive self-talk is often a good idea when our DCs are second-guessing themselves. Maybe something like, “Yeah, I know it feels uncomfortable and even a bit scary right now. It was a big decision! But I’m so impressed by how thoughtful and mature you were in the way you got there. It’s ok to feel nervous after a big decision. But remember you’re a smart kid with great judgment. Trust yourself. I do!”[/quote]

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