ED regret?

[Anonymous]

Getting in ED allows your DC to completely chill for the next 6-7 months. It is a real gift. Our Dc aimed a little higher than they should have in ED. Did not get in. Had very good (equivalent) options in EA, but thinks she would have been much better off applying slightly lower in ED and locking in. Dec-March were hell.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Many ED applicants have regrets, especially in the spring when they see their peers deciding among their options. If your kid really regrets it, it’s not too late to pull it.

But pulling it after submitted basically will mean a No from that School. What T25 would ever give an acceptance to someone who pulls a ED (without an explanation of "we are connected about costs).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I told DS - if it is meant to be, then you'll get in and it's the best school for you. If you don't get in, it wasn't the right fit.

This is such strange magical thinking. Or maybe religious thinking? Regardless, things don’t always turn out for the best in life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I told DS - if it is meant to be, then you'll get in and it's the best school for you. If you don't get in, it wasn't the right fit.

This is such strange magical thinking. Or maybe religious thinking? Regardless, things don’t always turn out for the best in life.

Sounds like a miserable message for your kid. I'm gonna stick with mine.

[Anonymous]

My class of 2022 DC applied ED to a school they previously were in love with. About a week before the decision came out, experienced extreme regret. We talked through it and I told them they could pull the app if they wanted to. They had already been accepted to a few safeties. They decided to go ahead and keep the app and got in ED. At first they were happy, but then the regret set back in and they were very depressed about the situation. It's hard to say exactly what was behind it all as there were also some serious mental health issues going on during this time. The ED school was a reach and was likely the best school DC could have gotten into but DC had a couple friends (with much higher stats) who got into Ivies and I think that + poor mental health skewed their perspective.

They went to the ED school and it's been good. Not perfect, but an overall great experience. DC loves their major, has a strong friend group, is active in extracurriculars, and is all around thriving.

DC2 doesn't have a strong first choice school, so they are applying EA everywhere and it's honestly so much less stressful not having all hopes tied to one place. One of their schools is guaranteed admission with their stats - VCU - so we also know they are going somewhere!

[Anonymous]

DC applied ED to their "dream" school, was rejected, then rejected ED2 to a close second. Had a bunch of good RD options. Got off a waitlist that was way down on their list, accepted the offer in June (!). Is now thriving at said waitlist school, finds it a perfect fit, and is actually happy about not getting in to ED school (a few years down the road, has an entirely different perspective).

[Anonymous]

I think second thoughts on ED are totally normal. It's hard not to wonder "what if?". My daughter refused to ED and had a way more stressful senior year than her friends who ED'd.

Just make sure to get other apps in prior to the ED offer date so your student doesn't loose momentum if they are waitlisted or rejected which definitely happens to some.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think second thoughts on ED are totally normal. It's hard not to wonder "what if?". My daughter refused to ED and had a way more stressful senior year than her friends who ED'd.

Just make sure to get other apps in prior to the ED offer date so your student doesn't loose momentum if they are waitlisted or rejected which definitely happens to some.

Yeah, I just had this discussion with DS. He really threw himself into his ED application (Chicago, which is a harder app than some - he worked painfully hard on the "weird essay"), and of course now wants a yes more than ever. I said - you need to approach the next 6 weeks as if you've already gotten a no. It's hard but you have to switch your mindset and focus just as hard on the other applications.

[Anonymous]

Mine went for a dream school reachy reach ED and got in. No regrets. ADHD kid was thrilled not to have to go through RD like her sister. FA was better than NPC too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So my kids (twins) submitted ED applications to their favorite schools and now it's a day later and I think everyone is having slight regrets.
They were their top schools (and we visited a lot) but they liked other schools as well. One submitted ED to a top15. Amazing school. But now he's wondering if he should have just stuck with EA options and that he might prefer a larger, state school.

SIGH. I know the chances of ED working out are slim-to-none. But it's a lot of pressure on a kid to have to pin down a choice after only seeing it once for a few hours. Anyone else with a kid in this position?

Regret this early? I find that surprising. Maybe wrong choice. If they are feeling regret this time next week, I’d switch that app to RD.

[Anonymous]

Is it possible that the regret is a way of protecting themselves in the event it doesn't work out and they are going to be disappointed? It's really hard how the mind works like that.

[Anonymous]

My oldest applied ED1 at a T20 school, freaked out, pulled the ED before decisions came out, and asked admissions to move her application to the RD round.

Ended up getting rejected or waitlisted at many of her top schools. Her original ED1 school waitlisted her in the RD round. Ended up committing to another T20 but was NOT happy about it, just really felt it wasn't the school for her.

Had a long, grueling senior year full of regret and "what ifs". In mid-May of senior year she was accepted off the waitlist at her original ED1 school, and is now a happy senior!

So ultimately it was just a case of cold feet that ended up causing many months of regret and stress. Just a cautionary tale OP if your kids are considering this route. They chose their ED1 schools for many reasons that haven't changed since November 1st

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think second thoughts on ED are totally normal. It's hard not to wonder "what if?". My daughter refused to ED and had a way more stressful senior year than her friends who ED'd.

Just make sure to get other apps in prior to the ED offer date so your student doesn't loose momentum if they are waitlisted or rejected which definitely happens to some.

Yeah, I just had this discussion with DS. He really threw himself into his ED application (Chicago, which is a harder app than some - he worked painfully hard on the "weird essay"), and of course now wants a yes more than ever. I said - you need to approach the next 6 weeks as if you've already gotten a no. It's hard but you have to switch your mindset and focus just as hard on the other applications.

Definitely good advice--good luck to your son!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I told DS - if it is meant to be, then you'll get in and it's the best school for you. If you don't get in, it wasn't the right fit.

^this. DC applied ED to a school. Got deferred to RD. Applied to other schools. Ultimately got into ED school, but chose to go elsewhere. A small, selective honors program at a large university.

Having gone through the college cycle for two kids (still have one more) and it’s worked out for each. They will end up where they are meant to be.

[Anonymous]

DS was rejected from his ED school but ended up at an equivalent school through RD (it actually has a lower acceptance rate). Anyhow, DS initially wanted a more outdoorsy, smaller school. But after half a year and a few admitted-student visits, he was more inclined toward a warmer, larger school. I'm sure he would have thrived and been happy at his ED school, but I also am pretty sure he would have picked his current school over his ED school in RD had they both been options. In other words, he would have been fine either way but I think he ended up at the right school.

Anyhow, I think this site overrates ED. It's great if a kid is super committed to a particular school and avoids some stress/anxiety between December and April. But it doesn't provide a meaningful advantage at most super-selective schools and forecloses the possibility of shifting/maturing preferences. In other words, ED is great for some but not everyone.