Cycling is bad for the economy and bike lanes should be stopped

[Anonymous]

A cyclist is a disaster for the local economy. A cyclist does not buy a car and does not take out a car loan. They do not buy car insurance. They do not buy fuel. They do not send their car for service and repairs a couple times a year. They do not use paid parking. All of this means that they are existing outside of the transportation system that the rest of us use without contributing to the spreading out of its cost. This is bad for society.

But it goes further, cycling is an activity that is exercise. That means that the cyclist is less likely to become obese and more likely to be healthy. Healthy people are not needed for the economy. They don't buy drugs, they don't go to hospitals and doctors as much, they don't pay lots of co-pays to their HMO each year helping keep insurance cheaper for the rest of us.

Compare the investment in bike lanes to a similar investment in building a Popeye's Chicken restaurant. The bike lanes will add nothing to our area economy, indeed for the reasons above it will only erode it. The Popeye's Chicken though - just from the health impact - should create at least 30 jobs - 10 cardiologists, 10 dentists, 10 weight loss experts, in addition to the fast food workers and the general happiness of all of their patrons from the serotonin rush from eating the highly palatable fast food.

So, this is what our area officials should be thinking about when evaluating the bike lane plans by Big Bike. A bike lane? Or a Popeyes. The choice is obvious.

[Anonymous]

How about we compromise and pass a law that says that all cyclists should be smoking while on the road?

[Anonymous]

Or, you could just walk.

[Anonymous]

This is good satire, OP. I got through the whole first paragraph before I realized.

[Anonymous]

Cute

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

So, this is what our area officials should be thinking about when evaluating the bike lane plans by Big Bike. A bike lane? Or a Popeyes. The choice is obvious.

By the looks of American urban planning, its very clear what we prioritize #MuhPopeyes

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is good satire, OP. I got through the whole first paragraph before I realized.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is good satire, OP. I got through the whole first paragraph before I realized.

+1. Best post of the day

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is good satire, OP. I got through the whole first paragraph before I realized.

+1. Best post of the day

+1

[Anonymous]

Well done, OP.

[Anonymous]

So few people realize what underpins America’s economy. It is people getting up everyday and commuting to work. Without that cities and suburbs suffer significant economic loss as a result. The work from home crap needs to stop if American is going to have a truly strong economic recovery.

It is a simple as that, so a recent bill proposed in Congress to remove locality pay from federal employees if they work from home. So companies should do the same. Come to work every day (minus typical leave) and get 100% of salary or work from home and get 60 or 70% of salary.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is good satire, OP. I got through the whole first paragraph before I realized.

+1

[Anonymous]

Cycling is terrible for the road construction industry too, OP. Don't forget that. Every time someone bikes to the Metro instead of driving, they are failing to contribute to the traffic jams that justify highway widening. Every time someone bikes on an errand instead of driving, they are failing to tear up the roads, and that's bad for the paving contractors.

[Anonymous]

Amidst all the hullabaloo about Joe Rogan’s interview with Trump, I was amazed to learn of how many millions of people subscribe to his podcast. Joe Rogan’s interviews are interesting but they are also insanely long and I’ve never had the time to listen to one, even though I’d very much like to. I wondered for a while as to how so many million people find the time to listen to his podcasts and it then occurred to me that there are millions of commuters out there who spend hours each day stuck in traffic and need something interesting to listen to. Bicycle commuters, on the other hand, can’t really listen to much of anything during their rides and so miss out. Cyclists are also therefore bad for the entertainment industry and particularly podcasts. It probably wouldn’t be a stretch to thereby regard them as less well-informed about current events compared to your average car-dependent person.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A cyclist is a disaster for the local economy. A cyclist does not buy a car and does not take out a car loan. They do not buy car insurance. They do not buy fuel. They do not send their car for service and repairs a couple times a year. They do not use paid parking. All of this means that they are existing outside of the transportation system that the rest of us use without contributing to the spreading out of its cost. This is bad for society.

But it goes further, cycling is an activity that is exercise. That means that the cyclist is less likely to become obese and more likely to be healthy. Healthy people are not needed for the economy. They don't buy drugs, they don't go to hospitals and doctors as much, they don't pay lots of co-pays to their HMO each year helping keep insurance cheaper for the rest of us.

Compare the investment in bike lanes to a similar investment in building a Popeye's Chicken restaurant. The bike lanes will add nothing to our area economy, indeed for the reasons above it will only erode it. The Popeye's Chicken though - just from the health impact - should create at least 30 jobs - 10 cardiologists, 10 dentists, 10 weight loss experts, in addition to the fast food workers and the general happiness of all of their patrons from the serotonin rush from eating the highly palatable fast food.

So, this is what our area officials should be thinking about when evaluating the bike lane plans by Big Bike. A bike lane? Or a Popeyes. The choice is obvious.

But bicyclists do increase the demand for cardiologists by caused anxiety among drivers and pedestrians who must bow to their wishes on the road; to dentists who get more business from people who grind their teeth over the antics of bicyclists on the road, and weight loss experts who treat the loved ones who overeat coping with the death and dismemberment of bicyclists. Also add in the value of divorce lawyers who get sick of bicyclists crowing about their fitness and superiority.