Purposely peeing in nighttime pull-ups during the night? WWYD?

[Anonymous]

Need some help with this one folks!

My son (5 year old) has been on and off of nighttime pull-ups for the past year. We did away with the pull ups when he'd go for a while waking up dry (usually a week or so of dry mornings). We had to go back to pull-ups when he started kindergarten, because he was suddenly waking up wet *every* morning, and it was wrecking everyone's sleep.

However, the issue now is that while he DOES still for sure have actual accidents at night when he's sound asleep, I'm all but certain that there's also times where he just pees on purpose. He's all but confirmed this to us. But, at the same time, we can't get rid of the pull-ups wholesale, as he clearly still needs them while he's asleep at night. The other night, he wandered into our room late into the night, and found out right as he was about to climb into bed with us that he had peed on the way over from his room!

What do we do here, RE: the occasional purposeful peeing? Do we just leave it alone?

We tried to float rewards as a bribe to encourage him to NOT do this, but it's hard to even tell for sure, because as I said, he does also still have real accidents in the night.

[Anonymous]

tell him to go to the bathroom first? but maybe he can't hold it anymore and he's only 50% of kindergartens have accidents.

[Anonymous]

What happens when he wakes up with a full Pull-Up? Does he have to deal with it at all? Or do you whisk it away for him while he gets dressed? I'd have him help throw it away and clean himself up. You don't want to shame in case he can't help it.

Then ask him, gently, if he's ever just going in the morning right when he wakes up instead of going to the potty. Keep your dukes down, and just tell him it will help you help him if you know. If he says yes just say "ok" and move on. You can come back to it later if needed.

[Anonymous]

I would 100% leave it alone. Offer the pull ups and don’t stress/pressure about coming off them for a while. Don’t ask a bunch of questions and draw a lot of attention to it. Give it time. 5 is still young.

[Anonymous]

4 year old was dry at night for a while then started having frequent accidents after going through a big change at home.

Gave her a "magic nightgown" that would help her stay dry and hung up a cool unicorn jacket she could have if she didn't have an accident for two nights in a row. It worked. It's been 8 or so months and she's only had a handful of accidents since.

So for us the bribery worked.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What happens when he wakes up with a full Pull-Up? Does he have to deal with it at all? Or do you whisk it away for him while he gets dressed? I'd have him help throw it away and clean himself up. You don't want to shame in case he can't help it.

Then ask him, gently, if he's ever just going in the morning right when he wakes up instead of going to the potty. Keep your dukes down, and just tell him it will help you help him if you know. If he says yes just say "ok" and move on. You can come back to it later if needed.

Truthfully we're usually in a rush in the morning, so I more often than not just take it off him and toss it while he wipes off with wipes.

He was kind of hesitant to tell me, but he happily told his grandma that he goes right as he's waking up sometimes. Although the pull ups are a lot of the time kind of wet already by the time he wakes up (he occasionally co-sleeps between us).

[Anonymous]

Also, kind of as a silly aside--!

Is it weird that we generally let him come downstairs and eat breakfast still in his pull up? We don't do a big complicated breakfast by any stretch. But, usually he's good about taking his pull up off after breakfast.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would 100% leave it alone. Offer the pull ups and don’t stress/pressure about coming off them for a while. Don’t ask a bunch of questions and draw a lot of attention to it. Give it time. 5 is still young.

+1. K is a big transition for most kids. He’s not going to sleep overs. Leave him alone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Also, kind of as a silly aside--!

Is it weird that we generally let him come downstairs and eat breakfast still in his pull up? We don't do a big complicated breakfast by any stretch. But, usually he's good about taking his pull up off after breakfast.

Take them off first thing when he gets up and encourage him to go to the bathroom before breakfast. My oldest, a girl, easily potty trained day/night all at once after he second birthday. Totally her, we were surprised. Second daughter wasn’t fully day trained (pooping on the toilet was the issue) until a month before her third birthday and she wears pull ups at night (and is 50/50) but we practice good pull up hygiene as in she puts them on with her pajamas before bed and takes them off when she wakes up, goes to the bathroom, and puts on her clothes and underwear.

[Anonymous]

My kid did this. Never a dry night in a pull up. We took the pull up away at 5. One kid had exactly zero accidents. The next one had 2-3 accidents. The next one had 1 accident at 9 years old while traveling to Europe so she was super jet lagged, and very embarrassed. The last kid didn’t need pull ups until he was 5 - trained himself early - maybe a youngest kid thing. All are late teens/ young adults now.

[Anonymous]

It sounds like he is almost ready to be done with pullups. Recommend getting a bedwetting alarm just to speed the process along.

[Anonymous]

There’s no way for you to know when he is purposely using them, or if he is. He will stop that on his own because it will feel weird to him. Any shame you introduce (including rewards) is going to be with him for a looooong time. He will stay dry when he is developmentally ready.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There’s no way for you to know when he is purposely using them, or if he is. He will stop that on his own because it will feel weird to him. Any shame you introduce (including rewards) is going to be with him for a looooong time. He will stay dry when he is developmentally ready.

NP, But one of my twins wore pull-ups at night until later, and did something similar to this.

I could 100% tell when he'd pee upon waking up, because the pull-up would be noticeably warm right in the front.

If I had to guess, I'd bet this is something almost all kids that are in pull-ups at night do on occasion. However, if you're sure he's still wetting in his sleep OP, then I'd just leave it alone. He's still young. As long as he's not having issues with using the potty in the daytime.

I'd encourage him to go in the potty when he wakes up. But, if he pees in the pull-up? Oh well. It's going to get thrown in the trash soon after anyways. If you're not dealing with leaking pull-ups, then I personally wouldn't make it a hill to die on. Can't really fault the kid. He's using the pull-up for it's intended purpose.

[Anonymous]

The pull up needs to come off as soon as he wakes up. That way, no temptation to pee in it when awake.

[Anonymous]

I wouldn't dangle rewards or a bribe or whatever for staying dry, as he sounds like he's not able to go a whole night without peeing just yet. But what you could do is offer a reward for him being responsible about taking off his wet pull up first thing in the morning and throwing it away. Maybe even get a chart going to track the days he does so, so he can have a reminder.