Attractive wives schlubby husband.

[Anonymous]

I know a bunch of pretty or very attractive women who have married schlubby guys. These women are sort of friendly, but also kind of btchy and type a. I believe they chose these men because they knew they could control them. Why is this such a common phenomena?

[Anonymous]

Money looks good on everyone.

[Anonymous]

Women get desperate and settle. Even attractive ones. "Schlubby" as you put it, is bearable, assuming the money is there.

[Anonymous]

Because the men work themselves to the bone and the women get cosmetic treatments and spend a lot of time as the gym or the spa.

[Anonymous]

Oh OP, time is the great equalizer. The ladies will hit menopause and they'll have to stay thin so their faces will sag and their hair will dry out and their eyes will look droopy no matter how much they fight it with surgery and products.

Somehow the shlubby men keep their hair and it turns silver and somehow they look better as they age.

[Anonymous]

I haven’t necessarily found this to be a “money” thing as most schlubby guys I know aren’t big time high earners. I see this more with HS/college sweethearts who got married and had kids relatively young, and the woman invested in her looks and is high maintenance and the guy is … not. I once saw a viral Twitter post that said something to the effect of, every couple in your small Midwestern home town where she looks like a 27 year old yoga instructor, he looks like a 55 year old retired cop, but they’re really both 36 and I thought that was very accurate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Oh OP, time is the great equalizer. The ladies will hit menopause and they'll have to stay thin so their faces will sag and their hair will dry out and their eyes will look droopy no matter how much they fight it with surgery and products.

Somehow the shlubby men keep their hair and it turns silver and somehow they look better as they age.

Sigh
This not true
Or maybe for some, as is the same for "some" men

[Anonymous]

No it’s because the husbands are great they are kind intelligent etc..
nerds make better partners

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Oh OP, time is the great equalizer. The ladies will hit menopause and they'll have to stay thin so their faces will sag and their hair will dry out and their eyes will look droopy no matter how much they fight it with surgery and products.

Somehow the shlubby men keep their hair and it turns silver and somehow they look better as they age.

This is true. But doesn't answer OP's question.

[Anonymous]

In my STEM world, people are often on the spectrum and not fashion conscious at all. I married a research scientist with multiple terminal degrees and no interest in clothes. He has a great body underneath his torn T-shirts and disreputable jeans, but you don't know that. I am slim, have a good eye for clothing and receive many compliments on my outfits.

But I do not control him, and I generally come across as a soft-voiced, shy sort of person.

As far as type A, we're all perfectionists to some degree in the research world. That's what it takes to get a PhD in science! But it doesn't translate to every aspect of our lives, and it certainly doesn't mean someone is ill-tempered or unpleasant.

Don't generalize, OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I know a bunch of pretty or very attractive women who have married schlubby guys. These women are sort of friendly, but also kind of btchy and type a. I believe they chose these men because they knew they could control them. Why is this such a common phenomena?

You have a pretty limited imagination, OP. Work on that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I haven’t necessarily found this to be a “money” thing as most schlubby guys I know aren’t big time high earners. I see this more with HS/college sweethearts who got married and had kids relatively young, and the woman invested in her looks and is high maintenance and the guy is … not. I once saw a viral Twitter post that said something to the effect of, every couple in your small Midwestern home town where she looks like a 27 year old yoga instructor, he looks like a 55 year old retired cop, but they’re really both 36 and I thought that was very accurate.

I am watching a hs sweetheart marriage fall apart right now for this very reason. Hs sophomore girl got infatuated with a hs senior guy. She is a beautiful, beautiful girl 9/10 and he is a cool guy for a small town high school but his looks -- once you put him on a scale that includes everyone and not just the people in this podunk hs -- are going to be about a 6. They start dating. He goes away to college. She pressures him to come back and marry her; he does it and they get married a month after she graduates from hs. The girl grew up in the non-denominational Christian world that supports if not pushes women in the home and not in college or at work. So she starts trying to get pregnant and busies herself learning to make pot roast and cake while he gets construction work. They have very little money. She has a baby. She wants second baby and has it. Get very, very obsessed with Christian mommy instagram and ends up on anxiety meds obsessing over trying to post the perfect pictures. Goes off SM for a bit, but comes back on and gets obsessed and starts coveting the influencers who are posing with pictures of things like LV bags. He works really hard and becomes a plumber and starts making more money. It isn't enough for her. She stops putting pictures of him in her posts because she is embarassed that his looks are a 6 and she is obsessed with looks thanks to the obsession with Insta. Spends time traveling to Ed Sheeran concerts -- even some abroad -- with her Insta friends, leaving her DH and kids behind. Posts lots of travel pictures on SM trying to look glamorous. Just as oldest of the two kids is off to kindergarten (even though she had sworn she would homeschool the kids), she decides she can do a lot better than DH. Which comes later than I expected it to, tbh. Poor guy. And she has zero work skills at 24 because of these ridiculous life decisions.

But yeah, that is a rant about a DW obsessed with appearance whose looks are at about a 9 with an average-looking plumber DH. It's darned close to over though.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
In my STEM world, people are often on the spectrum and not fashion conscious at all. I married a research scientist with multiple terminal degrees and no interest in clothes. He has a great body underneath his torn T-shirts and disreputable jeans, but you don't know that. I am slim, have a good eye for clothing and receive many compliments on my outfits.

But I do not control him, and I generally come across as a soft-voiced, shy sort of person.

As far as type A, we're all perfectionists to some degree in the research world. That's what it takes to get a PhD in science! But it doesn't translate to every aspect of our lives, and it certainly doesn't mean someone is ill-tempered or unpleasant.

Don't generalize, OP.

???

[Anonymous]

Without reading any of the responses I will respond with this: $$$
Tons of these couples at my kids' school: beautiful 30 something mom and chubby, bald, 50ish dad. They get a beautiful house, lake house, SAHM lifestyle with help, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Women get desperate and settle. Even attractive ones. "Schlubby" as you put it, is bearable, assuming the money is there.

Charlotte and Harry.