Friend's child was murdered by a family member: how should I interact with friend?

[Anonymous]

I met a new friend on a dating app. Friend said friend has been very depressed and isolated a times because friend's child was murdered by a family member. Does anyone have any advice on how to interact with friend? I don't think avoiding the topic completely is possible or desirable. Triggers are everywhere. For example, I'm noticing that lots of movies and TV shows have emotional scenes involving parents and children, scenes with murders, or both. Is having a normal relationship and living a normal life even possible? I'm interested in hearing from people who have lost children due to accidents, illness, suicide, war, or even murder, and also from people who have been in relationships with people who have lost children that way.

[Anonymous]

Confused by your question. You have a friend or someone you are dating? The way you make it sound it’s hard to know who you’re talking about.

[Anonymous]

How do you know they didn’t make it up?

[Anonymous]

I'd steer clear if they are still in an active healing phase. Feels like drama and you'll always be back on your heels trying to address emotions.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Confused by your question. You have a friend or someone you are dating? The way you make it sound it’s hard to know who you’re talking about.

Why does it matter if it's a romantic relationship or a friendship?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How do you know they didn’t make it up?

Is this how you go through life? Suspicious and disbelieving?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How do you know they didn’t make it up?

Is this how you go through life? Suspicious and disbelieving?

Seems like a pretty odd thing for someone to bring up when they first meet you online.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Confused by your question. You have a friend or someone you are dating? The way you make it sound it’s hard to know who you’re talking about.

Why does it matter if it's a romantic relationship or a friendship?

DP but it’s really not smart to get romantically involved with someone when they’re actively grieving the death of a child!

[Anonymous]

Is this someone you are making plans to meet up with or is this an online pal?

Also how soon and how much did they talk about being depressed and the details of their child’s murder?

Mentioning you lost a child is one thing but this seems like a bit of trauma dumping on someone new which is a big red flag.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How do you know they didn’t make it up?

It would make the news and be easy to look up. I assume Op did that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Confused by your question. You have a friend or someone you are dating? The way you make it sound it’s hard to know who you’re talking about.

Why does it matter if it's a romantic relationship or a friendship?

A romantic relationship established via online dating seems a greater risk of being a scam... perhaps OP will get hit up for "funeral costs" or "money for a trip to get away from all the heartbreak."

[Anonymous]

If this is a relationship that's both new and casual, I'd just text how sorry I am for their loss and then let them make the next move. I wouldn't get super involved.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How do you know they didn’t make it up?

It would make the news and be easy to look up. I assume Op did that.

Assume nothing. Lots of gullible lonely people out there. Next thing we know the “friend“ will need money for something related to their child’s case.

[Anonymous]

Wtf. Ghost

Major red flag

[Anonymous]

I think OP is trying to write a book. Their last few lines are very weird – if the “friend” lost a child at the hands of the family member, why are they wanting to know about peoples experiences with losing children due to wars, etc.?