Should we tell the truth about why we can’t do play dates anymore?

[Anonymous]

Our kid’s good friend has behavioral issues and everytime we have a play date, kid ends up acting worse and regressing. We’ve decided to stop all playdates and to tell the teachers to keep them apart. Should we be honest with the parent as to why we aren’t doing play dates anymore or just say we aren’t available when asked?

[Anonymous]

Honest if you can think of a way to do it kindly.

[Anonymous]

I’d just say no, politely, to play dates.

[Anonymous]

If they are asking, isn't it assumed they host and can manage their own child? I just stop inviting/hosting a problem kid in this situation. I also host 90% of the playdates...

[Anonymous]

No just fade

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No just fade

+1 ghosting is fine here

[Anonymous]

You sound like an awful friend

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You sound like an awful friend

no,she doesn't

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You sound like an awful friend

no,she doesn't

Yes she does. Asking teachers to separate them? The friend isn't bullying but OP is using that sort of defense against them.

[Anonymous]

Be honest

[Anonymous]

I think you are putting the teachers in an awkward spot asking them to keep two kids apart when they are friends. What if other kid goes home and says Miss Mary says I am not allowed to play with Larlo any more?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You sound like an awful friend

no,she doesn't

Yes she does. Asking teachers to separate them? The friend isn't bullying but OP is using that sort of defense against them.

I think you are projecting. At that age, it's totally fine to separate your child from other kids if they have a negative influence. It doesn't have to be bullying. Geez.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think you are putting the teachers in an awkward spot asking them to keep two kids apart when they are friends. What if other kid goes home and says Miss Mary says I am not allowed to play with Larlo any more?

The teacher is just going to ignore request. She may not intentionally group them together for a project, but she is certainly not going to be policing them to make sure there is zero interacting in class or on the playground

[Anonymous]

Your kid gets worse or their kid gets worse?
If it’s their kid just don’t host or do things outside with them like playgrounds.
You can request separate classes for next school year but that ship has sailed this year.

[Anonymous]

How old are these kids? On some level it's on your own kid to recognize good behavior and bad behavior and not model bad behavior. You aren't going to be able to keep them in a "good kid" bubble their whole life and I am assuming they are young enough that the influence of this kid is fairly low stakes. I am working on the skill of self advocacy and taking responsibility for your own actions with my seven year old, who is easily influenced by goofy peers. It's just as much a her problem as it is the other kids.