Tweens on their devices at parties, play dates, sleepovers

[Anonymous]

I’ve noticed a growing trend around my daughter’s friends that they are bringing their phones and devices even to birthday parties, play dates/hangouts, and sleepovers. Your kids are zombies. You’ve robbed them of their childhoods. They are only 11-12 and already total zombies. Why would you send your kid with a LAPTOP and an iPhone to a sleepover?

[Anonymous]

I wouldn’t because my 11yo doesn’t have a phone and won’t be getting one anytime soon. But her friends that do love to lord it over the ones that don’t showing it off, trying to act cool and older and using it in front of the other girls and ignoring them. Mine has an iPad but it doesn’t leave the house and no texting is enabled. I don’t get it. The social skills are horrendous.

[Anonymous]

I love that my teen's high school banned cell phones except at lunch thanks to Youngkin. At Back to School Night all the teachers commented on how much better things are. The teens are more interactive with eachother and respectful.

[Anonymous]

My kid has a watch phone that can only text or call numbers that we preprogram/allow. I wouldn’t send her to a sleepover without that so she can call me in an emergency, but no way would I send her to a play date, birthday party, etc., with any device beyond that.

My 10yo daughter had a birthday party at a trampoline place, and her friend at least handed me the phone to keep safe while she played, but asked for it back when it was pizza time and didn’t look or talk to another kid during that time. She just ate and scrolled. She didn’t even sing “Happy Birthday.”

[Anonymous]

My child went to a 'play date' like that and got so bored with everyone else on their phones (they have a phone but not into face tock or whatever) so they played with the cats and hung with the adults. Now they know to decline with this group of teens and we look for a venue hangout instead.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I love that my teen's high school banned cell phones except at lunch thanks to Youngkin. At Back to School Night all the teachers commented on how much better things are. The teens are more interactive with eachother and respectful.

This sounds like a reasonable high school policy! Lunch and after school are green light. Kids are respectful enough to abide.

Do you have that Youngkin policy somewhere? We are not in VA.

[Anonymous]

My freshman doesn't know anyone in his lunch period and unfortunately most kids are on their phones then and not really meeting new people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I love that my teen's high school banned cell phones except at lunch thanks to Youngkin. At Back to School Night all the teachers commented on how much better things are. The teens are more interactive with eachother and respectful.

This sounds like a reasonable high school policy! Lunch and after school are green light. Kids are respectful enough to abide.

Do you have that Youngkin policy somewhere? We are not in VA.

https://www.cnn.com/2024/07/10/us/virginia-school-cell-phone-restrictions-youngkin/index.html

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My freshman doesn't know anyone in his lunch period and unfortunately most kids are on their phones then and not really meeting new people.

Yeah…

I don’t think they should be allowed at lunch either. They should be totally
Put away/off from morning bell until dismissal. Lunch should be to eat and socialize in person. Not stare at phone watching stupid YouTube shorts

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I love that my teen's high school banned cell phones except at lunch thanks to Youngkin. At Back to School Night all the teachers commented on how much better things are. The teens are more interactive with eachother and respectful.

This sounds like a reasonable high school policy! Lunch and after school are green light. Kids are respectful enough to abide.

Do you have that Youngkin policy somewhere? We are not in VA.

https://www.cnn.com/2024/07/10/us/virginia-school-cell-phone-restrictions-youngkin/index.html

Thanks- this is great. I didn't see a mention of lunch but did open the EO and it looks like each commissioner creates a policy about "instructional time" I admit I do like the idea of lunch being a free time vs. draconian bell-to-bell.

I do like the idea of no phones during instructional time. This will really make a difference for students and teachers.

[Anonymous]

A phone for a sleepover, party or play date? Sure, of course. There is a reason: communication with a parent if needed.

Anything else—an iPad, laptop, Kindle, whatever, absolutely not. The kids should be talking, playing engaging. Heck, they could even be gaming on the same device. My friends and I used to have a blast playing Super Nintendo together or whatever. (Yes, I’m old.) But even that is “social screens,” not ignoring each other.

[Anonymous]

My kid has a phone but doesn’t do this.
She has 2 friends though that are on their phones all the time, literally. In the car for carpool for 10 mins, at the pool, at our house… they’re 12.
I agree OP.
Clearly it’s not all of us, bif it’s definitely becoming rampant.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A phone for a sleepover, party or play date? Sure, of course. There is a reason: communication with a parent if needed.

Anything else—an iPad, laptop, Kindle, whatever, absolutely not. The kids should be talking, playing engaging. Heck, they could even be gaming on the same device. My friends and I used to have a blast playing Super Nintendo together or whatever. (Yes, I’m old.) But even that is “social screens,” not ignoring each other.

So you think they’re talking and engaging with the phone there but wouldn’t be if there was an iPad? Even though a lot of other parents are saying the kids aren’t engaging and are staring at their phones instead?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My kid has a watch phone that can only text or call numbers that we preprogram/allow. I wouldn’t send her to a sleepover without that so she can call me in an emergency, but no way would I send her to a play date, birthday party, etc., with any device beyond that.

My 10yo daughter had a birthday party at a trampoline place, and her friend at least handed me the phone to keep safe while she played, but asked for it back when it was pizza time and didn’t look or talk to another kid during that time. She just ate and scrolled. She didn’t even sing “Happy Birthday.”

The other advantage to the watch is that it’s actually harder to text than on a phone, so in my experience, at least, they use it less.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My freshman doesn't know anyone in his lunch period and unfortunately most kids are on their phones then and not really meeting new people.

Yeah…

I don’t think they should be allowed at lunch either. They should be totally
Put away/off from morning bell until dismissal. Lunch should be to eat and socialize in person. Not stare at phone watching stupid YouTube shorts

My daughter’s private school has always banned phones, but this year they’re really cracking down. Phones go into a locked Yondr pouch the entire day. No exceptions for lunch or even afterschool activities at school. Kids get them back when they’re leaving campus.