Tweens on their devices at parties, play dates, sleepovers

[Anonymous]

Idk but the same recently happened. Kid showed up at a sleepover with 5 girls with an iPad. Just why

[Anonymous]

Got this note before a beach house sleep over and thought it was a great way to handle - A few house rules if you can encourage them to follow — They can bring screens but I’d prefer that they use devices only if necessary to stay in touch with you guys. Mainly want them to be splashing, gabbing, giggling and snacking.

[Anonymous]

I have teen boys and they are not like this with their friends.

[Anonymous]

I love that there is a growing backlash to smartphones. I hope it continues. They are just awful for kids’ mental health and social life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have teen boys and they are not like this with their friends.

This started with my son’s friends way earlier than 11-12.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Got this note before a beach house sleep over and thought it was a great way to handle - A few house rules if you can encourage them to follow — They can bring screens but I’d prefer that they use devices only if necessary to stay in touch with you guys. Mainly want them to be splashing, gabbing, giggling and snacking.

Like this

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have teen boys and they are not like this with their friends.

This started with my son’s friends way earlier than 11-12.

My boys are 13 and 15. They absolutely do look at memes and listen to music together. Of course they do. They do not bring laptops and ignore one another to look at their phones at a party.

I am the hang out house so I have these kids over all the time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have teen boys and they are not like this with their friends.

This started with my son’s friends way earlier than 11-12.

My boys are 13 and 15. They absolutely do look at memes and listen to music together. Of course they do. They do not bring laptops and ignore one another to look at their phones at a party.

I am the hang out house so I have these kids over all the time.

We are also the hang out house and I don’t see this either with 12-13 year old girls. They are still playing together basically. Yes, they bring out phones to take pics and make videos and show each other funny videos. But they are doing all kinds of interacting with hide and seek (jump scare style), soccer, making bracelets, putting makeup on, making cookies, learning dances, light as a feather stiff as a board, screaming and giggling, etc. None of these girls are zombies. And it doesn’t seem much different than when I was in 7th grade except with cell phones you cannot prank call people anymore.

[Anonymous]

I definitely think phones are a problem for teens to socially develop. Maybe it isn’t so bad when they are with their friends. But I recently went to a causal dinner party where several families were invited. Kids were similar aged 12-15 yr olds, but went to different schools and either didn’t know each other or only had a met a couple times. You can bet they all retreated to separate areas solo with their phones. Zero effort was made to get to know each other or find things to do.

I can recall parties like this as a young teen. While it always started off awkward since you didn’t know the others or weren’t friends- we all managed to socialize and have fun.

Those days are gone I guess

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I definitely think phones are a problem for teens to socially develop. Maybe it isn’t so bad when they are with their friends. But I recently went to a causal dinner party where several families were invited. Kids were similar aged 12-15 yr olds, but went to different schools and either didn’t know each other or only had a met a couple times. You can bet they all retreated to separate areas solo with their phones. Zero effort was made to get to know each other or find things to do.

I can recall parties like this as a young teen. While it always started off awkward since you didn’t know the others or weren’t friends- we all managed to socialize and have fun.

Those days are gone I guess

No I think there's a growing backlash.

I bet it you talked with the other families at least someone would get the same as you and you could encourage interaction somehow.

[Anonymous]

Luckily, my daughter ended up in a friend group who started a Cell Phone Box for parties. Everyone dropped them in the box when they came in the door. Totally fine if someone needed to call a parent or something, and I think they grabbed one for music later, but mainly, everyone agreed that they "didn't want to be 'those kids'" who stared at screens while with each other.

Some of the adult discussion about phones is starting to rub off on the kids, in a good way. They don't all like it, either, but it's peer pressure: they don't want to be the only one without the device, because it's boring. Phones for this generation may be like drinking and smoking for my generation. And frankly, the physical health effects are way lower, so I'll take it.

[Anonymous]

Social media is toxic.

Do not let your kids have social. At all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I definitely think phones are a problem for teens to socially develop. Maybe it isn’t so bad when they are with their friends. But I recently went to a causal dinner party where several families were invited. Kids were similar aged 12-15 yr olds, but went to different schools and either didn’t know each other or only had a met a couple times. You can bet they all retreated to separate areas solo with their phones. Zero effort was made to get to know each other or find things to do.

I can recall parties like this as a young teen. While it always started off awkward since you didn’t know the others or weren’t friends- we all managed to socialize and have fun.

Those days are gone I guess

I grew up in the dark ages but would have read the back of cans in the pantry before I talked to another teen I didn't know at a party like that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I definitely think phones are a problem for teens to socially develop. Maybe it isn’t so bad when they are with their friends. But I recently went to a causal dinner party where several families were invited. Kids were similar aged 12-15 yr olds, but went to different schools and either didn’t know each other or only had a met a couple times. You can bet they all retreated to separate areas solo with their phones. Zero effort was made to get to know each other or find things to do.

I can recall parties like this as a young teen. While it always started off awkward since you didn’t know the others or weren’t friends- we all managed to socialize and have fun.

Those days are gone I guess

Totally agree - back then maybe they'd have put on a movie for all the kids, which is at least somewhere social compared to everyone on their own screen

[Anonymous]

The few friends my oldest DC had at 11-12 who had phones actually weren't on them all the time. Not sure how much was parenting and how much was personality, but I only saw those phones (and they were smart!) pulled out to call mom or dad. DC is at a new school this year and a few of the kids are clearly phone addicts - school technically has a bell-to-bell no phone policy but they are sneaking them. DC finds it weird, having not had to deal with it before.