Sister walks in with same engagement ring as you...what would you do?

[Anonymous]

Our mother works for a big Jeweler...one of the perks is that each of your kids get a diamond ring at cost. DH and I picked out a diamond engagement ring from there when we got married. I love my ring.

My sister, who is close in age, asked me a year ago if I would mind if she got the same ring. I was shocked by the question....but said.....something to the effect of get whatever you like. So fast-forward a year, the newly engaged couple came over this weekend. My sister sporting the same engagement ring as I. I actually cried. (Not in front of her). I guess I should have told her...hell no...don't get the same ring as me. I really had no idea that it would have bothered me this much. I really don't know why you would choose to get the same ring as someone you knew...let alone your sister.

I love my husband, and love my kids. I love everything that the ring reminded me of. To me it was unique and special, and guess what I don't want to share it with anyone.

Now I look at it and I'm just reminded of the fact that my sister has the same ring.

Perhaps I need to just get over it.

[Anonymous]

Q: Sister walks in with same engagement ring as you...what would you do?

A: Say "Congratulations! I am so happy for you!" and give her a big hug.

[Anonymous]

Wow, if you can't tell your own sister how you feel you can you tell. While I do think its strange that your sister picked out the SAME ring, how original is your setting? A pricess cut diamond on a platimun setting, with or without diamonds around it, for example, is not original.

by chance, was her diamond bigger?

[Anonymous]

I think you offer congratulations, and try to get over it privately.

She picked the same ring as you b/c she asked you, in trying to be considerate of your feelings. You weren't truthful. She rightly took your response at face value, so now you really can't be upset.

[Anonymous]

They are identical, not the same.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think you offer congratulations, and try to get over it privately.

She picked the same ring as you b/c she asked you, in trying to be considerate of your feelings. You weren't truthful. She rightly took your response at face value, so now you really can't be upset.

Absolutely true. This is what happens when you're not honest with people. Sorry, but she was considerate in asking how you felt, and you chose not to tell her the truth. Your fault, 100%.

[Anonymous]

I agree. You told her it was ok, so what did you expect?

Besides, a lot of people have similar rings. Is it a particularly unique one? Presumably it's not custom made or anything because it sounds like your mom ordered it through a wholesaler.

[Anonymous]

If you wanted a unique ring, you should have had it custom-made. And you should have told WHEN SHE ASKED that, actually, it would bug you to have the same one.

You have a considerate sister (SHE ASKED!) who has good taste, just like you. Move on.

[Anonymous]

I agree it is my fault. I didn't want to upset her when she asked the question initially. Yes I did congratulate them with a smile. And I do sincerely hope they are happy. I did not ask how big the diamond was or what the rating was....I would never do that. My DH did comment on how honkin huge the ring was, which broke my heart, because I know he wishes he could've given me a bigger diamond....even though that's not important to me.

[Anonymous]

I would be flattered and let it go.

[Anonymous]

How unique are engagement rings, anyway? The only people I see with really "unique" rings are people with ugly rings.

I have a 2 ct round solitaire with tiny diamonds around the band, and so do a million others. It doesn't bother me in the least.

[Anonymous]

If her diamond is bigger than yours, it isn't identical, right?

How many other choices did she have?

Anyhow, I would also be flattered. There's no way your sister would choose an identical setting as her sister, unless she really liked you and respected you! That is worth so much more, SO MUCH MORE, than having a "unique" (yet wholesale) ring.

[Anonymous]

Considering they sell this ring in a store, I am guessing there are plenty more people walking around with this ring then just your sister.

Really, who cares? So she liked yours and go the same one. Do you think people are really paying that much attention to your rings???

[Anonymous]

OP, it would irritate me. Especially since it is a bigger diamond. It's almost like intentionally trying to show you up. "Look, I go the same ring as you, only bigger!"

[Anonymous]

I would think it was weird - but honestly, this is her weirdness not yours.

I personally wouldn't care because I am really not into things like jewelry - I love my engagement ring but DH totally picked it out and arranged the setting or whatever - I was not one of those women who had an idea in mind about my ring. I think it's strange that your sister didn't want to vary something as personal as an engagement ring a little from yours but that sounds like her issue, not yours.