Is there a way for me to fix this?
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Anonymous
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I’m a person who typically moves very slow when it comes to sex. I wait a couple of months, and when we’ve established commitment. I do this because in the past I’ve gotten burned and ended up in a situationship when I’m looking for something serious.
I’ve been dating what seems to be a nice guy for 4 weeks and on our 5th date we had sex. I didn’t follow my usual protocol because honestly I hadn’t had any sex in a while and wanted it. We seem to click and both say we want something serious. But now I’m in this weird space where I’m having sex with someone who I’m not in a committed relationship with. What advice do you have for navigating this? Or should I just end it. |
Anonymous
| Do you usually self sabotage? You find someone you could with and want to end it just because you didn’t follow “protocol”? |
Anonymous
OP here. Honestly, I think of casual dating as sabotaging myself, so I try to avoid that. We are just now in this weird space where we are sharing a lot of intimacy but not having any kind of title/commitment. I don’t do well in situations like that. |
Anonymous
| How about feelings? Do you have an emotional connection and think he does too? That plus sex can lead to a title and/or commitment. Seems like you are asking a big much of yourself and of him. |
Anonymous
We have an emotional connection. We’ve both been vocal that we like one another. I don’t think it’s there yet for a title. So we are in limbo land which I can’t stand. I just think we moved too fast. I should’ve had self control and explained how I like things to evolve. |
Anonymous
| Why end it?what the hell |
Anonymous
But you didn’t. So move forward. |
Anonymous
Because he is going to want to keep having sex, and I don’t want to have sex outside of a relationship. I guess I could try to play it cool for 6 weeks or something and hope we both reach a place of wanting commitment. |
Anonymous
Wow where to start |
Anonymous
| So have the “define the relationship” talk. Look up some good ways to have that conversation. |
Anonymous
| Just relax and enjoy yourself. The horse is out of the barn. |
Anonymous
| I think you are borrowing trouble. Is it your worry that he is having sex with someone else at the same time? Outside of that you said you click and are having a good time so why try to put such a hard definition on things? There are no guarantees. Even if you commit to each other and are officially in a relationship there is not guarantee that things will work out long term. |
Anonymous
OP here. I don’t assume people are only sleeping with me unless we talk about it. I really don’t want to sleep with someone who is sleeping with someone else. |
Anonymous
| you are being neurotic. Take things one step at a time and let them evolve from this point. |
Anonymous
| Use your words |