My ex’s mother died. What do I do?

[Anonymous]

My ex broke up with me last after 5 years. She immediately went NC and blocked me. 4 days post breakup (the 8th), she called me randomly and I heard panic in her voice saying her mom was missing and then I could hear her tearing up. I told her I’m sure her mom was fine, she told me they found her car with her purse in it, but her mom wasn’t there, her keys and phone were gone, and her phone was dead.

She called me hours later screaming in tears that she was dead. She and her mom best friends and they were two peas in a pod, so I knew she was beyond devastated. I called her best friend because I was worried about my ex and what I could do. I cried myself to be honest - her mom texted me/us after we broke up because she wanted us back together. My mom reached out to my ex and we sent her flowers. I drove a couple of hours to see her after the service last week to give me condolences. We hugged really hard for a while we she cried. I told her to let me know how if she wanted to talk and I kissed the back of her hand and told her that I loved her. She texted me to make sure I got home safely. She texted the next day thanking me for driving down, how it meant a lot to her and her dad, and ended with the text with “love you”. I said love you too.

My thing is, do I still periodically text to check in, like every few weeks or just don’t say anything to her again? What would you do?

[Anonymous]

Oh and I’m still blocked on social media but I’m assuming in the midst of all this she hasn’t been on social media?

[Anonymous]

Nothing? Why care. ::shrugs::

[Anonymous]

Sounds like you're trying to use her grief as a way to wheedle your way back into her life.

[Anonymous]

Can't wait to read your new book, OP. Let us know when it's released!

[Anonymous]

Is the reason you broke up still there?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like you're trying to use her grief as a way to wheedle your way back into her life.

I’m not. Im not good at this kind of stuff at all and don’t know how to go about things like this, especially because she initially reached out to me and the breakup is only a few weeks old. If this had happened a year post breakup id have a much better idea of how to handle it but it’s so fresh.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Can't wait to read your new book, OP. Let us know when it's released!

F off. Her mom actually died.

[Anonymous]

I think you should back off and move on with your life. You stepped in during a crisis, the crisis is over, you are finished.

[Anonymous]

Did you recently cancel a trip to London with her prompting the breakup?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Nothing? Why care. ::shrugs::

Why care? Her mom was a great person and was good to me for the 5 years she was in my life. As I mentioned, her passing upset me too. Secondly, because I know how close my ex and her mother were I know my ex is probably drowning in unimaginable grief right now. I seriously can’t stop hearing her screaming out of my head.

[Anonymous]

Nothing...but sounds fake.

[Anonymous]

Leave her alone. She will reach out if she wants or needs to. This could easily evolve into her feeling like you are using her mother's death to get back with her or make others think that's what you're doing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Nothing...but sounds fake.

I’d be happy to link her mother’s obituary.

[Anonymous]

She cant' have her cake and eat it too. She broke up with you, so she shouldn't expect boyfriend-level of condolences and support.