My ex’s mother died. What do I do?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She cant' have her cake and eat it too. She broke up with you, so she shouldn't expect boyfriend-level of condolences and support.

Where are you getting that she’s expecting it? I offered to come down to see her. She repeatedly asked if I was sure because she didn’t want me to feel obligated or it be weird for me.

[Anonymous]

It must be really bad for her to go NC and to block you. You did your part. Leave her alone. If she wants to reach out, she knows where to find you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It must be really bad for her to go NC and to block you. You did your part. Leave her alone. If she wants to reach out, she knows where to find you.

If it was that bad then why did she call me freaking out when they couldn’t find her?

[Anonymous]

So you're just going to argue with anyone who doesn't tell you to keep in contact with her

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Nothing...but sounds fake.

I’d be happy to link her mother’s obituary.

Please do it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Nothing...but sounds fake.

I’d be happy to link her mother’s obituary.

Please do it.

Both of you are sick. Do not link a deceased person's obituary, have some respect.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can't wait to read your new book, OP. Let us know when it's released!

F off. Her mom actually died.

Liar.

[Anonymous]

These responses are terrible. In a week text her a “how are you doing?”

[Anonymous]

Do you know why she went no contact and blocked you? That’s pretty extreme. You were there for her, but it doesn’t change the fact that your relationship is over; I imagine the lines were fuzzy in the midst of a crisis.

You don’t have to do anything else. If there is a charity listed for donations, you can do that but you should move on with your life.

You could also write a condolence letter, which wouldn’t necessitate a text or reciprocation. Share a nice memory of her mom, express what she meant to you and sign off without saying “I love you” (“take good care” is more appropriate). You’re still blocked, after all. But even if she unblocks you…my advice is the same.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like you're trying to use her grief as a way to wheedle your way back into her life.

See, to me, she seems like she's using him as a disposable support crutch. She knows he wants the attention, so she'll use it for her needs until she tosses him again.

But, this is a troll post anyway.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Nothing...but sounds fake.

I’d be happy to link her mother’s obituary.

Please do it.

Both of you are sick. Do not link a deceased person's obituary, have some respect.

How about living people's obits? That fair game?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like you're trying to use her grief as a way to wheedle your way back into her life.

See, to me, she seems like she's using him as a disposable support crutch. She knows he wants the attention, so she'll use it for her needs until she tosses him again.

But, this is a troll post anyway.

If she said he didn’t need to come see her and op offered how is she using him?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think you should back off and move on with your life. You stepped in during a crisis, the crisis is over, you are finished.

+1. Unless she contacts you again, there's nothing for you to do. She knows how to find you if she wants to.

[Anonymous]

You are grieving the end of the relationship. Your ex is grieving her mom.

Grief does funny things to people. Of course you wanted to reconnect in the middle of all this. However probably best to let things subside and talk with a counselor about what’s best for you. Whatever is best for you is ultimately what’s best for your ex. You cannot take her pain away. If your relationship was codependent you may be tempted to step in now but it’s probably going to end in heartache for both of you.

[Anonymous]

So she went no contact with you for 4 days? Blocking an ex is normal. Who wants to see their social media when you’re trying to move on.
I think an appropriate amount of time to give her space but also be a good person is at least a week but no more than 2 weeks. Then maybe not again.