White folks, is Tim Walz a "unicorn"? (non-political)

[Anonymous]

I'm a middle-aged Black man from a rural, mostly White, area of NC. A place where farming, hunting, fishing, pick-up trucks w/ rebel flags, and Jesus Christ are popular.

While often challenging, I feel fortunate to have grown up in that environment and then going to college and grad school in a totally different world. Where Black and White students studied and lived together.

Which brings me to my Tim Walz unicorn question. Now in my 50s, I've grown up with, gone to school with, work with, and am family/friends with, countless White men. In my lifetime, (and I really want to say this w/o offending anyone) I feel like I've witnessed White men trying to figure out who they are. And that has been a long struggle for them and partly the reason why the country is the way it is today. I've wondered and worried about White men from this perspective.

But Tim is different. At least, to me he seems to be. I'm not sensing that struggle with him. That's uncommon. Kind of unicorn-ish, I think. He seems to have figured out some things that we, as men (dare I say, especially White men), struggle with for a good part of our lives. I'm interested in hearing your thoughts on this.

And folks please, I fully understand that this whole post is one hell of a generalization, based on an extremely micro point of view. I also know full-well that we as Black men have our own unique struggles. If this post feels like I'm "throwing stones", then I've failed in trying to have objective dialogue and I apologize. Thanks.

[Anonymous]

No, I think he is fairly typical. And very much a Minnesotan.

— White man, 52, who grew up in Ohio.

Maybe you see more handwringing in the south where white men might struggle more with cognitive dissonance over growing equality and believing they’re being displaced. But this sort of anxiety and insecurity really isn’t a thing in most of the rest of the country.

Walz strikes me as extremely relatable because he is exactly how most white men of a certain age are. So he’s the opposite of a “unicorn” IMO.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No, I think he is fairly typical. And very much a Minnesotan.

— White man, 52, who grew up in Ohio.

Maybe you see more handwringing in the south where white men might struggle more with cognitive dissonance over growing equality and believing they’re being displaced. But this sort of anxiety and insecurity really isn’t a thing in most of the rest of the country.

Walz strikes me as extremely relatable because he is exactly how most white men of a certain age are. So he’s the opposite of a “unicorn” IMO.

OP here. Interesting perspective. Thank you very much.

[Anonymous]

White woman here but I think this post is really insightful. I've long felt white men as a group (and sometimes individually) are struggling with identity. I also feel this way about white women!

I think one interesting thing about Walz is that he has embraced certain classic aspects of masculinity (football coach, military background, his general vibe) while also being an empathetic and clearly caring person (teacher, champion of children's issues, generally warm person). These things shouldn't be in opposition to each other but many men seem to struggle with it and fear appearing "soft." It's basically the whole issue of toxic masculinity and Walz doesn't seem to have struggled with it. He embraces "soft power" and leading with kindness and warmth.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:White woman here but I think this post is really insightful. I've long felt white men as a group (and sometimes individually) are struggling with identity. I also feel this way about white women!

I think one interesting thing about Walz is that he has embraced certain classic aspects of masculinity (football coach, military background, his general vibe) while also being an empathetic and clearly caring person (teacher, champion of children's issues, generally warm person). These things shouldn't be in opposition to each other but many men seem to struggle with it and fear appearing "soft." It's basically the whole issue of toxic masculinity and Walz doesn't seem to have struggled with it. He embraces "soft power" and leading with kindness and warmth.

Very insightful. Well stated and I agree. I'm OP.

[Anonymous]

I don't know what is more common because IME, I can think of plenty of guys like him, plenty of guys searching for identity and plenty of guys that wouldn't fit into either of those dichotomies.

[Anonymous]

As a white woman, I think he is your typical sane, reasonable, solid person. The kind of person who will stop and help you if you have a car accident.

He seems to have a lot of charisma.

We'll see. We've only just met him, and don't know a lot about him yet.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:White woman here but I think this post is really insightful. I've long felt white men as a group (and sometimes individually) are struggling with identity. I also feel this way about white women!

I think one interesting thing about Walz is that he has embraced certain classic aspects of masculinity (football coach, military background, his general vibe) while also being an empathetic and clearly caring person (teacher, champion of children's issues, generally warm person). These things shouldn't be in opposition to each other but many men seem to struggle with it and fear appearing "soft." It's basically the whole issue of toxic masculinity and Walz doesn't seem to have struggled with it. He embraces "soft power" and leading with kindness and warmth.

As this poster suggests, when the focus of your life isn’t yourself, but rather serving other people, a lot of the “struggle” people seem to have with identity, purpose, etc., seem to evaporate.

Everybody is so focused on “getting ahead” that we rarely talk about leading a life of service in our country anymore outside of military service, ESPECIALLY for men. Women are expected to basically serve other people, sometimes to such an extreme that we lose ourselves in the process. There needs to be balance. Our leaders also de-emphasize service as in choosing service as the purpose of your life.

[Anonymous]

Growing up a white man in the south is really hard I think because white men in the south, culturally, have never really been on the right side of anything. The best thing they have going is a thin veneer of chivalry in certain circumstances.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Growing up a white man in the south is really hard I think because white men in the south, culturally, have never really been on the right side of anything. The best thing they have going is a thin veneer of chivalry in certain circumstances.

Interesting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:White woman here but I think this post is really insightful. I've long felt white men as a group (and sometimes individually) are struggling with identity. I also feel this way about white women!

I think one interesting thing about Walz is that he has embraced certain classic aspects of masculinity (football coach, military background, his general vibe) while also being an empathetic and clearly caring person (teacher, champion of children's issues, generally warm person). These things shouldn't be in opposition to each other but many men seem to struggle with it and fear appearing "soft." It's basically the whole issue of toxic masculinity and Walz doesn't seem to have struggled with it. He embraces "soft power" and leading with kindness and warmth.

As this poster suggests, when the focus of your life isn’t yourself, but rather serving other people, a lot of the “struggle” people seem to have with identity, purpose, etc., seem to evaporate.

Everybody is so focused on “getting ahead” that we rarely talk about leading a life of service in our country anymore outside of military service, ESPECIALLY for men. Women are expected to basically serve other people, sometimes to such an extreme that we lose ourselves in the process. There needs to be balance. Our leaders also de-emphasize service as in choosing service as the purpose of your life.

I think there's a lot of truth to this (PP here). And there has been a trend in recent years to look to people emerging from business as political leaders (not just Trump but people like Andrew Yang and even Pete Buttigieg) because culturally we view success in business and making a lot of money as evidence of intelligence and worth. And even outside this paradigm the classic entry into politics usually involves white collar professional success. Like a law degree and legal career. But Walz's background is truly about service and not ambition. Until he ran for Congress in his late 40s his life was just about the kind of quiet service that doesn't get celebrated or glorified much -- teaching school and coaching kids and serving in the National Guard on the weekends.

I would love if the rise of Tim Walz made more young people consider how rewarding and good a life like his early life can be -- a solid and secure job working in service of others combined with some kind of volunteer or commuity focused work. I can see my own kid pursuing this path and I think it would likely lead to more happiness than trying to make a lot of money in business or law or climb a political or professional ladder into prominence.

[Anonymous]

He’s a “mensch.” They exist in all races! Doesn’t mean his politics are any better or worse but just that he is nice and doesn’t need to conceal it or prove himself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Growing up a white man in the south is really hard I think because white men in the south, culturally, have never really been on the right side of anything. The best thing they have going is a thin veneer of chivalry in certain circumstances.

This is interesting because I can think of a lot of southern white men who I don't think struggled with this at all. Perhaps because they are from liberal families or maybe they figured out early on that the south was on the wrong side in the Civil War and just never really struggled over that or even identified with the confederacy. I am thinking of a lot of men I know personally but also very prominent public men like Stephen Colbert. I just know a lot of men from the south who both embrace southern courtesy and manners but also don't struggle in the least with concepts like "slavery is morally wrong" or "who other people want to marry is none of my business." Anecdotally the difference between the men who struggle and those who don't seems to be how they were raised and early influences in their lives like traveling a bit outside the south at a young age or going to college outside the south or in a more cosmopolitan part of the south.

[Anonymous]

Tim Walz is actually what many white men his age could be had they not been radicalized by Fox News. I’m serious.

[Anonymous]

I found this article "Things to know about Tim Walz" interesting:
https://www.politico.com/news/magazine/2024/08/06/tim-walz-55-things-harris-vp-00172790?__cf_chl_tk=xQ4u7DaeJ7S6_zMu_4l5q.AdeX0rufhxz7Z_7pRsE8g-1723288937-0.0.1.1-4244