Sent home from summer camp

[Anonymous]

Our daughter “B” has been going to an overnight summer camp for 3 years.
Yesterday, we got a call that the camp had called EMS for her.
They didn’t see any need to transport her to a hospital so we were called to pick her up.
We were told that she could come back if she got medical clearance which she did after meeting with a doctor and a counselor. She was happy to go back. When we got there, they told us she couldn’t stay.

Here is part of a draft of an email that I am writing in hopes of getting a refund.
It also explains more of what happened yesterday.

Email draft: Our daughter B is an amazing young person. She will have disappointments, in her life, but summer camp should never have been one of them. She was devastated that she was not allowed to return to Camp K, after we were told that she could return, if she got medical clearance. She met with a doctor and a counselor. B had made some superficial scratches on her arm. They were barely visible. We were not told exactly what she said that triggered an EMS call. B said she just answered some questions but wasn't going around talking about self harm.

I got a clue about what might have happened, after reading the report, of the counselor, who met with her. He wrote that B should not joke or be “snappy” when asked about her mood by caregivers because there is a protocol based on her responses. The EMS did not find her to be at risk. The doctor who examined her did not find her to be at risk or to need hospitalization.

B was so happy to be cleared to go back to camp. She sorted through her belongings, to pare them down, for the remaining four days, of her two week camp experience. We drove to the camp, and called right before arrival, so someone could meet us there.

Even though B had been medically cleared, we were told that she could not return because they didn't have staff for one-on-one supervision. She was cleared and didn't require one-on-one supervision. One of the suggestions by the counselor was frequent check-ins that could be as simple as a thumbs up or a thumbs down.

B explained that she was anxious when she scratched her arm because there were always a lot of people around. She is used to having some downtime. If she had bit her nails instead, because of anxiety, this wouldn't have been an issue.

Camp K is supposed to be an inclusive camp, for all girls, even ones with occasional anxiety. She felt let down by the staff, at camp, because she did what they asked her to do in order to return to camp.

Camp is not cheap. We received aid for around half the fee, for two weeks of camp, but still paid over a thousand dollars, so she could attend her third year of camp. We did what was asked of us then the decision to let her return was rescinded, without any consideration, of the results of her medical evaluation. We brought a copy of her paperwork with us but nobody asked to see it. They let B know that she would be welcomed back, next year, but it is unlikely that she will return for a fourth year. We are still grateful for the skills that she has acquired, during the three summers, that she attended Camp B.

[Anonymous]

There are protocols that have to be followed.
If the decision to not allow her to return was not based on the requested medical information, could it possibly be considered discriminatory?

[Anonymous]

The camp is out in a difficult position. While the doctor who examined her did not find her to be at risk or to need hospitalization the doctor might be looking at it through the lens of “at risk for suicide” NOT “at risk of cutting /self-harm”.

There can be a type of peer pressure/exposure to cutting which then can lead other girls to try cutting/self-inflicted harm. And a 18 to 21 year old camp counselor is not going to feel at ease with someone who is cutting in their cabin. And if they followed the mental health counselors suggestion of thumbs up/thumbs down what happens if it a thumbs down? Who on staff do they have to provide mental health support.

[Anonymous]

It wasn’t cutting. She was scratching herself with her other arm. It was very superficial, hardly noticeable. Cat scratches look much worse.

[Anonymous]

As a former EMT I can tell you that we wouldn’t have recommended the ER for what you’re describing but EMTs are not mental heath professionals. So them not taking her is a totally different thing from meaning that she’s fine to stay at camp.
Doesn’t sound like self harm though, more like ocd/anxiety. I would be annoyed too. They shouldn’t have said one thing if they meant another.

[Anonymous]

Doesn’t sound like she was fully cleared if she required frequent check ins. Also it sounds like there was something off on the way your daughter responded to questioning by the staff based on what was written.

Camp is usually staffed with young people without mental health training and maybe the camp didn’t believe they were qualified to perform that type of role that your daughter needed.

[Anonymous]

I understand your daughters disappointment and your sadness for her and frustration that she couldn't finish camp, esp when they told you she could if she received medical clearance. However:

She received aid for half the fee, she missed 4-5 days and you want a refund? This makes no sense.

What you refer to as minor scratches the staff clearly don't. The HS counselors don't feel equipped to handle her or what influence she might have on other campers and you are upset? Think how more upset you'd be of another camper shared destructive behavior with your sometimes anxious child?

I do hear that you, and maybe even the doctor and counselor, thought that what happened was no big deal. However, it is clear that the camp staff felt otherwise, and didn't feel your daughter could be safe in their care.

[Anonymous]

Unfortunately there is still a real lack of knowledge and understanding about mental health. Stigmatized responses aren’t uncommon.

I think it was very unfortunate that they got her hopes up and had her return only to reject her on arrival. It would be better if they just flat out said they can’t accommodate any mental health issues, even minor.

Who is the head of the camp? Is it a chain style camp or individually owned. Hopefully they will give you a refund given they are the ones saying she can’t come back.

[Anonymous]

I think your letter is way too long. You need to decide if it’s a letter to get a refund or a letter to express your frustrations. Right now it’s trying to do both, and not doing either very well.

For a refund, the focus is that you were told she could return with a medical clearance. You got a medical clearance, but we’re still not able to return. The camp is a financial challenge for you, and you respectfully request a refund of the cost of the missed time. If there’s any refund policy you can cite to support your request, add it.

Once the refund is issued, then write a letter expressing your concerns and frustrations about how your daughter was treated.

[Anonymous]

It's odd that they said she can return them turned her away on arrival. That's definitely something you can raise and escalate.

Since you got 50% aid I don't know that the money issue is going to get you much sympathy. Did she attend less than 50% of the days?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think your letter is way too long. You need to decide if it’s a letter to get a refund or a letter to express your frustrations. Right now it’s trying to do both, and not doing either very well.

For a refund, the focus is that you were told she could return with a medical clearance. You got a medical clearance, but we’re still not able to return. The camp is a financial challenge for you, and you respectfully request a refund of the cost of the missed time. If there’s any refund policy you can cite to support your request, add it.

Once the refund is issued, then write a letter expressing your concerns and frustrations about how your daughter was treated.

This. Cut your text way down, make your writing more concise.

[Anonymous]

That sounds very unfair. She does not sound at risk for suicide at all, and the camp knows this but is grasping at any straw to not have her back because they're annoyed with her SN behaviors.

Jokes about suicide are made by neurotypical kids too. My ADHD/ASD kid never did, but my neurotypical kid did, and got into trouble for it at school. I was called to pick her up, the counselor told me that normally they were not allowed to have her back until after a psychiatrist/psychologist had cleared her. My kid explained she had just made a joke, and she was allowed back to class.

Name and shame the camp, OP.

[Anonymous]

I am sorry this happened. However, I am going to side with the camp.

Self injury can be really contagious. Camps have a responsibility to protect both the kid self-injuring, and the other kids. It's wonderful that she's not suicidal, but concerns about self injury are real.

It sounds like your daughter hasn't even told you what happened, which to me means that either she's in enough distress that she can't, or that she's not realizing what a big deal this is. Either is a sign that she may not be ready.

It also sounds like you are attributing what happened to something the camp can't change, the presence of other people, and are coming back with a recommendation for check ins that you didn't clear with the camp. It's possible that if you'd shared the recommendation as soon as you got it, and the camp had had a chance to problem solve, they would have figured out a way to make it happen, but you didn't do that. So, the camp got handed a report saying that the kid needed increased supervision, and had to make a decision on the spot with no time to meet with staff, talk through options and make a plan.

I'm actually mind boggled that you didn't communicate with the camp "we got clearance, we're sending you the document now. Please let us know when she is cleared to return."

[Anonymous]

I'm sorry your daughter didn't have the camp experience you were hoping for. The camp felt they couldn't meet her needs. You don't want her somewhere she isn't wanted. It's tough.

[Anonymous]

Was she cleared by a psychiatrist or a pediatrician?