Disturbing news about former Stanford dean

[Anonymous]

This woman has been held up as the role model for parenting and now this news:

https://www.paloaltoonline.com/stanford/2024/07/11/stanford-alum-details-affair-with-celebrity-dean-who-is-now-palo-alto-city-council-member/

[Anonymous]

Vile.

[Anonymous]

yuck

[Anonymous]

They handled that in a very mature manner.

[Anonymous]

Also a thread here.

https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/1216169.page

This is the dean who wrote the execrable “How to Raise an Adult.”

I don’t know what is wrong with Stanford. Their president falsified data at the same time as they hounded their star goalie to suicide.

[Anonymous]

This is crazy (and so wrong)!!!!!

[Anonymous]

Yuck

[Anonymous]

1000% wrong for this dean no question.

However, it also struck me as sad that this student's perception of the relationship was another manipulation by her parents to reframe what had included positive experiences into one that was labeled as only manipulation and abuse. I wish her parents had handled her own mental health better in this situation. There were ways to identify the Dean's action as fully inappropriate behavior (thus there is school policy against it) without leading Haas to being fully embarrassed and led to reframe the relationship so that she now feels that nothing was real and it was all manipulation and abuse. It sounds to me like they both genuinely had feelings. Sure, they both need to come to terms with it and the Dean is responsible for acting on those feelings and for all of the pain it caused the student. But, parents were rightfully upset and it was right for the Dean to be fired and held accountable....so I can understand their actions too.

[Anonymous]

I really enjoyed JLH’s work a lot. I’m sorry to read this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:1000% wrong for this dean no question.

However, it also struck me as sad that this student's perception of the relationship was another manipulation by her parents to reframe what had included positive experiences into one that was labeled as only manipulation and abuse. I wish her parents had handled her own mental health better in this situation. There were ways to identify the Dean's action as fully inappropriate behavior (thus there is school policy against it) without leading Haas to being fully embarrassed and led to reframe the relationship so that she now feels that nothing was real and it was all manipulation and abuse. It sounds to me like they both genuinely had feelings. Sure, they both need to come to terms with it and the Dean is responsible for acting on those feelings and for all of the pain it caused the student. But, parents were rightfully upset and it was right for the Dean to be fired and held accountable....so I can understand their actions too.

???

[Anonymous]

I’m confused a professor and a student had sex?

And what else?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:1000% wrong for this dean no question.

However, it also struck me as sad that this student's perception of the relationship was another manipulation by her parents to reframe what had included positive experiences into one that was labeled as only manipulation and abuse. I wish her parents had handled her own mental health better in this situation. There were ways to identify the Dean's action as fully inappropriate behavior (thus there is school policy against it) without leading Haas to being fully embarrassed and led to reframe the relationship so that she now feels that nothing was real and it was all manipulation and abuse. It sounds to me like they both genuinely had feelings. Sure, they both need to come to terms with it and the Dean is responsible for acting on those feelings and for all of the pain it caused the student. But, parents were rightfully upset and it was right for the Dean to be fired and held accountable....so I can understand their actions too.

???

I'm saying I feel bad for Haas also because her parents took no care in their response to consider how their view of this relationship would damage her psyche. Haas was not feeling harmed or used when she ended the relationship. She ended it because she had moved onto another relationship.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Also a thread here.

https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/1216169.page

This is the dean who wrote the execrable “How to Raise an Adult.”

I don’t know what is wrong with Stanford. Their president falsified data at the same time as they hounded their star goalie to suicide.

Image of said raised adult from JLH's website:
https://www.julielythcotthaims.com/profile-of-an-artist

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:1000% wrong for this dean no question.

However, it also struck me as sad that this student's perception of the relationship was another manipulation by her parents to reframe what had included positive experiences into one that was labeled as only manipulation and abuse. I wish her parents had handled her own mental health better in this situation. There were ways to identify the Dean's action as fully inappropriate behavior (thus there is school policy against it) without leading Haas to being fully embarrassed and led to reframe the relationship so that she now feels that nothing was real and it was all manipulation and abuse. It sounds to me like they both genuinely had feelings. Sure, they both need to come to terms with it and the Dean is responsible for acting on those feelings and for all of the pain it caused the student. But, parents were rightfully upset and it was right for the Dean to be fired and held accountable....so I can understand their actions too.

???

I'm saying I feel bad for Haas also because her parents took no care in their response to consider how their view of this relationship would damage her psyche. Haas was not feeling harmed or used when she ended the relationship. She ended it because she had moved onto another relationship.

She ended when decided to stop cheating on her boyfriend.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m confused a professor and a student had sex?

And what else?

The parents found out after it was over - reported it to Stanford - Dean left - student felt guilty about Dean having to leave and then had to deal with that mental baggage along with her parents telling her how horrible the relationship was (being an inappropriate relationship for the Dean doesn't mean it wasn't a genuine one from both sides).

Yes - the Dean was wrong and should not be at the school.... but it seems like this was a genuine relationship that ended in a normal "ran its course" manner.