Julie Lythcott-Haims: undergraduate exploiter

[Anonymous]

I always thought she was a self-absorbed blowhard and her book How to Raise an Adult was particularly ridiculous, but she was praised endlessly here and in the media.

Turns out she is not just a grifting blowhard who makes money on parental anxiety. She’s also a sexual exploiter of undergraduate students.

Here is the appalling story from her victim, an undergraduate student when Lythcott-Haims was a married celebrity dean:

https://www.autostraddle.com/i-had-an-affair-with-my-college-dean/

Lythcott-Haims has confirmed the affair:

https://www.paloaltoonline.com/stanford/2024/07/11/stanford-alum-details-affair-with-celebrity-dean-who-is-now-palo-alto-city-council-member/

I am getting to the point where I believe any author of books on how to raise children should automatically be considered 🚩🚩🚩. This is appalling. That poor girl. I hope she is okay now.

[Anonymous]

She has also written other books. Also preachy ones.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I always thought she was a self-absorbed blowhard and her book How to Raise an Adult was particularly ridiculous, but she was praised endlessly here and in the media.

Turns out she is not just a grifting blowhard who makes money on parental anxiety. She’s also a sexual exploiter of undergraduate students.

Here is the appalling story from her victim, an undergraduate student when Lythcott-Haims was a married celebrity dean:

https://www.autostraddle.com/i-had-an-affair-with-my-college-dean/

Lythcott-Haims has confirmed the affair:

https://www.paloaltoonline.com/stanford/2024/07/11/stanford-alum-details-affair-with-celebrity-dean-who-is-now-palo-alto-city-council-member/

I am getting to the point where I believe any author of books on how to raise children should automatically be considered 🚩🚩🚩. This is appalling. That poor girl. I hope she is okay now.

The college senior AP didn't have an appalling story, or at least no more appalling than any other "other woman" with lousy judgment.

[Anonymous]

Here’s more Stanford gossip:

https://nymag.com/intelligencer/article/andrew-huberman-podcast-stanford-joe-rogan.html

[Anonymous]

I saw her speak via the Safe Community Coalition a few years ago when she was doing her book tour. I remember thinking she had some good points, but seemed incredibly inflexible in her thinking wrt how different cultures parent.

What a terrible story. Disgusting.

[Anonymous]

Here’s a faculty member comment posted elsewhere:
JULY 11, 2024
I’ve been Stanford faculty for many years. It is true that Stanford’s sexual harassment policy did not explicitly forbid all undergrad-faculty relationships until 2013 (shortly after the relationship described above, and I suspect changed in part because of it). However, starting in 2002, there was a very notable exception: Any member of the Stanford community who was in a relationship with someone over whom they had a supervisory or evaluative role needed to disclose the relationship to the university and recuse themselves from that supervisory role (e.g. faculty or student switches out of a shared course, student changes labs, etc…). Due to the inherent nature of an undergraduate dean and associate vice provost’s responsibilities, it would have been impractical at best to recuse themselves from a supervisory role over an undergrad. So if the dean did indeed claim the relationship wasn’t in violation of university policies, she was either wrong or lying.

https://stanfordmag.org/contents/new-rules-on-relationships (https://stanfordmag.org/contents/new-rules-on-relationships)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I always thought she was a self-absorbed blowhard and her book How to Raise an Adult was particularly ridiculous, but she was praised endlessly here and in the media.

Turns out she is not just a grifting blowhard who makes money on parental anxiety. She’s also a sexual exploiter of undergraduate students.

Here is the appalling story from her victim, an undergraduate student when Lythcott-Haims was a married celebrity dean:

https://www.autostraddle.com/i-had-an-affair-with-my-college-dean/

Lythcott-Haims has confirmed the affair:

https://www.paloaltoonline.com/stanford/2024/07/11/stanford-alum-details-affair-with-celebrity-dean-who-is-now-palo-alto-city-council-member/

I am getting to the point where I believe any author of books on how to raise children should automatically be considered 🚩🚩🚩. This is appalling. That poor girl. I hope she is okay now.

The college senior AP didn't have an appalling story, or at least no more appalling than any other "other woman" with lousy judgment.

The victim was 22. She was being pursued and targeted by her college Dean. With the blessing of the college dean’s husband. This “relationship” negatively impacted her transition to adulthood.

It was not a stupid thing JLH did, it was unethical and violated Stanford policies.

It’s also ridiculous that JLH went on to publish a book preaching about how to raise an adult.
I missed the chapter about how to raise your child so that their college dean does not sexually groom them.

[Anonymous]

JLH is a predator and should be treated as such. She absolutely used this student and behaved inappropriately for her role or their relationship. Her husband appears to be complicit in it as well -- he knew of the affair and supported it. He stayed with his wife while she was engaged in this illicit entanglement.

I have encountered other couples like this in positions of power and in at least one of these cases I believe the open arrangement was essentially designed to accommodate the wife's personality disorder (a pathological need for attention and validation combined with major control issues that led her to be very attracted to young people who worked for her and looked up to her. It was like a convenient outlet for her problematic behaviors so then she could behave like a normal person with her husband.

Like JLK she had a kind of local celebrity status with a lot of followers and enablers who viewed her narcissism as charisma and her controlling behaviors as leadership. Truly fascinating (and disturbing).

[Anonymous]

This “relationship” negatively impacted her transition to adulthood.

The only regret Haas mentioned was from how her parents treated her, not the relationship.

[Anonymous]

While it was definitely inappropriate, I don’t know that this is a black and white case of perpetrator vs victim. It seems that going public and sharing what was once a shameful secret has been healing for the young woman, and she holds no animosity toward the dean.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:While it was definitely inappropriate, I don’t know that this is a black and white case of perpetrator vs victim. It seems that going public and sharing what was once a shameful secret has been healing for the young woman, and she holds no animosity toward the dean.

Already a thread about this:
https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/1216243.page