Question for the unhappy DW or exDW of dcum

[Anonymous]

If you are a divorced wife or unhappy in your marriage and contemplating divorce

What are the top 3 things your DH could’ve should’ve done to keep you happy and committed?

(Looking for info primarily from DWs exDWs from a long marriage maybe late 30s-early50s and with kids)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you are a divorced wife or unhappy in your marriage and contemplating divorce

What are the top 3 things your DH could’ve should’ve done to keep you happy and committed?

(Looking for info primarily from DWs exDWs from a long marriage maybe late 30s-early50s and with kids)

Neither divorced nor contemplating but what wives need are love, respect and support.

[Anonymous]

Read the book “his needs her needs” and discuss with your wife

[Anonymous]

*same goes for husbands.

[Anonymous]

I’ve reflected about this and occasionally post responses. Here goes:
1. Made myself happy first
2. Spent more time apart
3. Not care so much
4. Taken planned separate vacations
5. Studied my parents and made a real attempt of the opposite (they are still married).
6. Lowered my standards (it would not have hurt)
7. Learned how to properly have s%#x (I learned that post D).
8. See no. 4 - put more boundaries in place w my in laws. Never vacation with them.
9. Not enmesh so much between extended families.
10. Probably take a two year break - without a label - and then come back together.

[Anonymous]

1. Understood that No is a complete sentence and respected No the first time
2. Set aside dedicated time each day to reconnect one on one.
3. Not hit on other women while ignoring me at parties and instead paid attention to me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:1. Understood that No is a complete sentence and respected No the first time
2. Set aside dedicated time each day to reconnect one on one.
3. Not hit on other women while ignoring me at parties and instead paid attention to me.

Jealous much?

[Anonymous]

Stopped drinking
Stop cheating
Stop being a control freak that is never wrong

[Anonymous]

Not physically hurt me or our children
Not abuse alcohol
Not insulted my ethnicity

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you are a divorced wife or unhappy in your marriage and contemplating divorce

What are the top 3 things your DH could’ve should’ve done to keep you happy and committed?

(Looking for info primarily from DWs exDWs from a long marriage maybe late 30s-early50s and with kids)

1) Less pr0n, more/better sex. Cultivate intimacy, even if that means going to therapy to work on your own stuff (rather than just blaming it on me)
2) Pitch in instead of complaining about how I'm doing work you're not
3) Actually love actual me, not just what I can do for you/our family, and allow me to have time to myself to maintain a self of my own (primary parent syndrome was a real killer in my marriage)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’ve reflected about this and occasionally post responses. Here goes:
1. Made myself happy first
2. Spent more time apart
3. Not care so much
4. Taken planned separate vacations
5. Studied my parents and made a real attempt of the opposite (they are still married).
6. Lowered my standards (it would not have hurt)
7. Learned how to properly have s%#x (I learned that post D).
8. See no. 4 - put more boundaries in place w my in laws. Never vacation with them.
9. Not enmesh so much between extended families.
10. Probably take a two year break - without a label - and then come back together.

NP - Care to elaborate on #7? I'm intrigued

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:1. Understood that No is a complete sentence and respected No the first time
2. Set aside dedicated time each day to reconnect one on one.
3. Not hit on other women while ignoring me at parties and instead paid attention to me.

Jealous much?

Not PP, but... Probably not anymore! :lol: I've always been of the mindset that if you can have him, you can keep him, because obviously he's not mine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’ve reflected about this and occasionally post responses. Here goes:
1. Made myself happy first
2. Spent more time apart
3. Not care so much
4. Taken planned separate vacations
5. Studied my parents and made a real attempt of the opposite (they are still married).
6. Lowered my standards (it would not have hurt)
7. Learned how to properly have s%#x (I learned that post D).
8. See no. 4 - put more boundaries in place w my in laws. Never vacation with them.
9. Not enmesh so much between extended families.
10. Probably take a two year break - without a label - and then come back together.

NP - Care to elaborate on #7? I'm intrigued

I am sure you are! I married young (26) and I was inexperienced. I didn’t know what I didn’t know! Until I learned better.

[Anonymous]

Not become fat or way more conservative.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’ve reflected about this and occasionally post responses. Here goes:
1. Made myself happy first
2. Spent more time apart
3. Not care so much
4. Taken planned separate vacations
5. Studied my parents and made a real attempt of the opposite (they are still married).
6. Lowered my standards (it would not have hurt)
7. Learned how to properly have s%#x (I learned that post D).
8. See no. 4 - put more boundaries in place w my in laws. Never vacation with them.
9. Not enmesh so much between extended families.
10. Probably take a two year break - without a label - and then come back together.

How were you trying to have sex? Backwards?