I feel terrible about how burned out I am on childcare

[Anonymous]

it's been one week of summer vacation and at our beach house during a gap before my kids have camp. I've been off work to spend time with them and i feel terrible but - it has made me SO CRANKY. I keep thinking - they are growing up and this time is precious. But when i am actually trying to entertain them/ get them off ipads/ make food/ keep the house from being chaotic my stress levels are skyrocketing and I feel like one of those dogs who starts exhibiting concerning behavior bc they are locked in a cage. It's also been too hot to do a lot of activities I normally would to get them out of the house.
I feel awful about feeling like this. Why can't I just enjoy parenting?

[Anonymous]

It’s hard. Kids add a level of chaos that we don’t generally experience during the school year. Hang in there, you’re doing great because you’re making the effort to be present.

[Anonymous]

The first few weeks of a school break are always extra tough. Nobody quite knows what to do with themselves without all the external structure. I find it's easiest to just take the stress off of everybody to enjoy it. Don't give people (including yourself) permission to act up, but don't expect it to be fun. Just...be...

[Anonymous]

Transitions are especially tricky. Cut yourself a break.

I have also been doing childcare this week before camp starts (DH and I trading off days this week) and the first full day with my kids the morning went great and then the afternoon was just everyone (including me) being irritable and bickering. We just weren't used to it and it's hot and I think we were all just responding to being out of routine. The kids were whining about wanting to see their friends who they literally spent the previous day with all day on the last day of school and then I was annoyed at their whining becasue I was taking the day off work to hang out and they were rejecting me and demanding their buddies instead.

Each day has been progressively better and now today I'm a bit sad they have camp all next week and am looking forward to our long weekend for the 4th and getting to do camping and smores and all that.

[Anonymous]

I agree with you OP. I do better with a loose schedule. I make sure to build “ alone time” in to that schedule. So if let them have tablets for 2 hours in the afternoon I might start that time doing something that needs doing, but then the rest of that is me time, scrolling dcum, reading book, whatever.

[Anonymous]

I think it’s a hard adjustment for anyone not used to spending all day with children. And they’ll be back in camp before you come close to finding your groove.

[Anonymous]

The heat makes it really hard.

[Anonymous]

My kids are 5,4 and 1 and on a two week break between school and camp. I'm going insane. Every night my kids get an apology about my behavior that day. I hope I'm at least modeling accountability.

[Anonymous]

School breaks are some of the best times of the year. No more hectic rush in the mornings and afternoons. You are in a beach house! What is there to figure out?

[Anonymous]

Sounds like you’re treating it almost like an uncomfortable Thanksgiving gathering where everyone has too high an expectation. I guess maybe lower the expectations, don’t try to be perfect, order takeout, give them space to do their thing within reason. Maybe family boardgames if it’s too hot, or scary stories over smores.

[Anonymous]

We've done that type of beach vacation with young kids and honestly it's the least relaxing vacation we've had. You still have to do EVERYTHING that do you at home (all the cooking, meals, etc) + tons of laundry and trying to keep it somewhat clean and not totally sandy, etc. And you're doing it without your usual setup, kids are more dysregulated out of their usual environment, maybe less good at figuring out their usual activities/toys to play with.

We've taken a break from this type of vacation honestly. I'm sure many love it but for this age group it's a lot of work for parents (esp if you're not sharing the house with other friends, family etc to share the load).

[Anonymous]

Op- yes to the above - it’s a ton of work, the kids don’t have friends round the corner, them having friends means inviting whole families which is more work, it’s a thousand degrees, everywhere they go they drop wet towels and wet shorts and scatter other detritus and every time I try to do anything someone comes and says ‘mooooommmmmy xyz grievance’

I have calmed down a little since the apex of the feeling but is still there

[Anonymous]

Why do you call taking care of your own kids childcare? This just sounds like regular parenting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why do you call taking care of your own kids childcare? This just sounds like regular parenting.

op - I'm not sure what kind of answer you are looking for here or why this is a useful question.

[Anonymous]

I’m a SAHM and I often feel like people underestimate how irritating children are. The re-entry from a break from them is hard. Like having a day to myself is really important but coming home from a day away and doing dinner and bedtime is still hard and kind of extra hard, because you go from no kids irritating you back to submersion.

It’s not their fault, even when they’re being awesome they’re just really annoying.