Recent grad bemoaning joining the workforce

Anonymous
Our DD just graduated and has a good job lined up. The job was made possible by a family friend. She is depressed and complaining about having to work full time. I am afraid she will start and then quit, then fail to launch. Her attitude is horrible. She has loans to pay back. How can we avoid a trainwreck?
Anonymous
Don’t let her move back home. If she has a good job, she needs to get an apartment. If she can’t afford one on her own, she’ll need roommates. I never lived by myself. I went from having roommates to moving in with my boyfriend to marrying said boyfriend.

Having bills to pay will hopefully wake her to the fact that she needs that job.
Anonymous
op

Instead of fearing for the worst why not sympathize with her? Your dd probably is feeling nervous and let's face it becoming a grown up is tough. The twenties are a tough time!

However, I think you need to address your anxiety, op and your "catastrophizing" of something that may or may not happen!


https://www.businessinsider.com/what-catastrophising-means-and-how-to-stop-it-2018-3?op=1

Please don't pass your anxiety along to your daughter. Just because she is complaining about working does not mean she will "failure to launch" She already has a job lined up. Just let her vent! Since when is that a crime?
Anonymous
Don’t pay for things for her. Cut off her cellphone from your plan. Don’t let her use your car. Don’t keep her on your car insurance. Don’t let her move back home - though it sounds like she already is. Don’t help with rent or groceries.
Anonymous
Working sucks and she has 40 more years to look forward to. It's part of life and she'll get through it just like everyone else
Anonymous
Transitioning from a lifetime of going to school to working full-time at a real job is a big transition. I suggest you try sympathizing with her a little bit, in an upbeat way, and also assume she’ll be successful.
Anonymous
Let’s be real the 1st few jobs suck.

Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:Working sucks and she has 40 more years to look forward to. It's part of life and she'll get through it just like everyone else


40? Try closer to 50.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:Let’s be real the 1st few jobs suck.



For some. I’ve been with my firm 24 years. Hired from school. There are good days and bad, but I generally really like the people I work with, have great benefits, and have made pretty significant adjustments in my job (location, specialties, roles) during my career.

Your job is what you make of it.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:op

Instead of fearing for the worst why not sympathize with her? Your dd probably is feeling nervous and let's face it becoming a grown up is tough. The twenties are a tough time!

However, I think you need to address your anxiety, op and your "catastrophizing" of something that may or may not happen!


https://www.businessinsider.com/what-catastrophising-means-and-how-to-stop-it-2018-3?op=1

Please don't pass your anxiety along to your daughter. Just because she is complaining about working does not mean she will "failure to launch" She already has a job lined up. Just let her vent! Since when is that a crime?

Nothing bad has happened yet. Please don’t react to her sharing her feelings by cutting off support. It’s fine to reduce or eliminate support, but doing so for this reason will just lead to reduced sharing. Does/could she have anxiety?
Anonymous
Complainers will complain. If it wasn't this, it would be something else. Maybe made worse because it sounds like things are handed to her. Don't give to much weight as to "what" the complaint is.
Anonymous
I felt the same way and I have never become unemployed. It's totally normal.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:Don’t let her move back home. If she has a good job, she needs to get an apartment. If she can’t afford one on her own, she’ll need roommates. I never lived by myself. I went from having roommates to moving in with my boyfriend to marrying said boyfriend.

Having bills to pay will hopefully wake her to the fact that she needs that job.

100% this!!!
Anonymous
You should have made her hustle and line up her own job. No way she is going to value this one. It was handed to her.

Maybe she will figure this out by her next job, or maybe you have a line of family friends who can help her.
Anonymous
In the job one where she’ll be surrounded by other young people? That is the best thing about work in your early/mid 20s—the social network. If this is the job she is heading into, play up this aspect: yeah the 9-5 is probably sucky but she’ll make new friends and have a great social outlet.

If the job is one where she will be the only 20-something in an office of 40+, then encourage her to start seeking out something different. Take this job for experience (and a paycheck), but keep looking.
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