| If parents are paying for law school, do they get a say in when to get engaged? |
| Lol. No. And if you act like that, don't be surprised when your kids don't speak to you anymore. |
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How much say “should” they have- 0.
In practice sure they can give the ultimatum of withdrawing tuition payments/any other support if the child gets engaged. They should just be prepared for the potential natural consequence of such a reaction torpedoing their relationship with their child, his/her spouse and any future grandchildren. |
| None! |
| None. And if you say something, be prepared to destroy your relationship with your kid |
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What?
I mean if your kid wants to talk out pros and cons of various timings, sure you can engage and provide your thoughts. But “say” - zero. |
| None |
| You can certainly withdraw the law school tuition. But that’s the limit of your power. |
| None. However, it’s not unfair for them to cut off financial support after marriage. |
| None. And many parents don't pay for their adult kids' law school. Bride-to-be can take out a student loan like the rest of the grad student population. |
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How much say *should* a parent ever get in choice of spouse? None, unless everyone is consenting to an arranged marriage. Insisting on having a say in choice of marriage partner is a recipe for resentment.
Or course, a should feel free to offer counsel, especially when it’s a bad match, or protect their financial interests if they want to. |
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Kids with well off parents keep those cash apron strings into their 40s. Tuition, grad school, house, kids private school....
Kids whose parents send them off with a good luck are emotionally more self sufficient. |
Punish them for not following the orders? |
| Is it fair to use financial puppetry? |
| I have 2 married kids, the answer is NONE. |