Big kids, bigger problems

[Anonymous]

Tell me your challenges parenting adult children. I am in the throes and have concluded this is by far the most difficult phase of them all.

[Anonymous]

Parenting adult kids how? What is it that they still need, and what do you mean?


mother of twentysomethings

[Anonymous]

One son had an almost nervous breakdown, lost 40 pounds, failed out of college, ended up in the hospital, ended up with four different medical issues that had to be dealt with individually.

we pulled him out of college, spent eight months going to Doctors, got a therapist.

We were still paying his rent at college even though he wasn’t going.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Parenting adult kids how? What is it that they still need, and what do you mean?


mother of twentysomethings

Not every post is about you if you have no idea what this person is asking move on

[Anonymous]

My DC struggled with depression between ages of 18-20. It affected everything. School performance. Ability to self regulate during ups and downs of life. Everything was overwhelming. Alcohol use. Some drugs. Vaping. At 21 now on the right medication, has stable relationships, doing well in college, solid internship for summer. There is hope OP. Keep going and give them guardrails so they don’t come off the rails.

[Anonymous]

Agreed…two in college. Nothing terrible but most stress I have endured as a parent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Tell me your challenges parenting adult children. I am in the throes and have concluded this is by far the most difficult phase of them all.

Its just different not easier or tougher. In some ways easier as they value you more and doesn't want to be rude. There are less day to day issues as there is less interaction because they don't live with you and earn money.

[Anonymous]

Excessive Marijuana use and depression. Hardest time for me by far as a parent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Excessive Marijuana use and depression. Hardest time for me by far as a parent.

Self Medicating. Test for ADHD.

[Anonymous]

No at all. Big kids are much easier. The kid is chill, nothing bothers him, good grades, doesn't spend much money, polite, ready to get a teen job.
He also watches his little half-brother when I'm stuck at work.
I love it that he has no interest in driving. One less thing to worry, and I don't have to pay for more expensive insurance.
No smoking, drinking; some social media, but not overdoing it. Going to Community college and then we'll see if he wants to continue.

[Anonymous]

For me, the worrying is highest but the act of parenting is pretty much gone. It is hard to not offer opinion unless asked and resist getting involved but they are adults now. I have been spared dramatic mental health and substance abuse issues, which I attribute at least partly due to just plain good luck. That would add another layer. Kid going to LA for weekend, answer “Fantastic, have a great time and tell me about it when you get back!” I want to say “Where exactly in LA? Be careful, especially in Xx neighborhood at night! Is this the best use of your money right now? Have you finished your grad school application? Park in extended stay at airport” 😂 of course there has been gradually letting go but the full blown everything is hard as parent. You worry!

[Anonymous]

With two children with SNs that have the potential to be independent but delayed, parenting is still more active in their 20’s. One is seemingly launched. The second needs a bit more time on the vine, still seeing progress (even if it is exceedingly slow). The hardest part is trying to figure out where to pull back and where to offer support. We make many mistakes - but parenting seems to be a series of ups and downs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Tell me your challenges parenting adult children. I am in the throes and have concluded this is by far the most difficult phase of them all.

It is, because there’s no end, especially if you have a kid struggling with addiction, special needs, etc. Make sure you put plans in place for their financial care after you die.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Parenting adult kids how? What is it that they still need, and what do you mean?


mother of twentysomethings

Not every post is about you if you have no idea what this person is asking move on

Well done "MOTS" (mother of twentysomethings) - the competing arrogance and insularity in your post are tops.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Tell me your challenges parenting adult children. I am in the throes and have concluded this is by far the most difficult phase of them all.

It is, because there’s no end, especially if you have a kid struggling with addiction, special needs, etc. Make sure you put plans in place for their financial care after you die.

If you don't mind sharing, how old is your DC and what are you planning? We are faced with this right now. We may be in a one-off situation or could end up chronic. Do not want to burden the other sibling and we also want to protect the assets of the other child, especially from financial abuse by others, even if they may not think it is in their best interest in their unmedicated moments.