Grad parties

[Anonymous]

DC has been invited to several grad parties. First kid so don't have first hand experience. How much should DC give each kid? Cash or gift card? Most are open-house style events where the kids visit their graduating friend, eat, make merry and leave.

[Anonymous]

Okay--so you mean graduation parties, not grad school parties.

High school or college graduation ?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Okay--so you mean graduation parties, not grad school parties.

High school or college graduation ?

Okay—so you are here to criticize the OP, just like I am here to criticize you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DC has been invited to several grad parties. First kid so don't have first hand experience. How much should DC give each kid? Cash or gift card? Most are open-house style events where the kids visit their graduating friend, eat, make merry and leave.

We went through this last year with our oldest and honestly it never dawned on me that graduating seniors would be expected to bring gifts to other graduating seniors, so DC didn’t take anything. When DH and I are invited to grad parties we take a gift, but kids inviting each other - I would never expect gifts from people going through the exact same thing. I think it’s bizarre.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Okay--so you mean graduation parties, not grad school parties.

High school or college graduation ?

Okay—so you are here to criticize the OP, just like I am here to criticize you.

No need to be rude; I genuinely thought that the thread was about parties in grad school as indicated by OP's thread title. But, criticize away if that makes you feel superior.

[Anonymous]

Do you mean high school graduation parties?
It's really not clear, and the PP or OP criticizing another poster is out of line.

If you mean a high school graduation, we were invited as neighbors and we, the parents, gave a gift card of $25. My kid and his friends didn't have graduation parties, and no, it's not right to expect gifts from peers in that context. It's up to older adults, if invited, to give a little money to fund a little high living or dorm stuff.

[Anonymous]

Gift cards. Post-college grads live on gift cards.
High school grads, at their parties it just feels like pass the cash. Pass it around. For a net sum gain. I'll give your kid $25 at the party today and next weekend at our party you give my kid $25.

[Anonymous]

No gifts to peers at a grad party.
Hostess gift is fine.
Parents give gifts to their kids' friends if they want to; not expected.
Adult friends and family who are invited can give a card, if so inclined with cash/gift card.
Family from afar can also send a card w/wo gift.

[Anonymous]

Honest question - why wouldn’t the kids give each other a small gift ($10 gift card) for attending parties? Common courtesy as a guest, no? Not every kid hosts a party so it’s not like it all goes around.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Honest question - why wouldn’t the kids give each other a small gift ($10 gift card) for attending parties? Common courtesy as a guest, no? Not every kid hosts a party so it’s not like it all goes around.

No, because there's always someone left out who gets invited to a party but cannot, for a number of reasons, invite others. I know some of these kids. Generally they live in apartments and their parents don't want to throw parties.

Gifts between kids are NOT expected.

Financially independent adults are expected to conform to stricter etiquette rules. But dependent kids and adults have a more relaxed set of rules, thank goodness.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Honest question - why wouldn’t the kids give each other a small gift ($10 gift card) for attending parties? Common courtesy as a guest, no? Not every kid hosts a party so it’s not like it all goes around.

I see what you’re saying, but that’s behavior I expect between adults, not students. Technically the parents are the hosts, not the graduate, so if one wanted to be particularly thoughtful they could take a gift to the hosts - but we hosted a party and I didn’t expect anything from the kids who came.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Honest question - why wouldn’t the kids give each other a small gift ($10 gift card) for attending parties? Common courtesy as a guest, no? Not every kid hosts a party so it’s not like it all goes around.

That's what my high school senior and her friends are doing. $10 gift card for Chick fil A or local ice cream shop. When parents are also invited and attend the gift is more generous.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Honest question - why wouldn’t the kids give each other a small gift ($10 gift card) for attending parties? Common courtesy as a guest, no? Not every kid hosts a party so it’s not like it all goes around.

Because party or not everyone participating in graduation has a lot going on. It's awkward to foist a gift on someone who suddenly realizes they might reciprocate. Would just create a hierarchy of friends close enough to receive gift/card and those not. All that's wanted is a quick photo of friends together, a hello to out of town relatives, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Okay--so you mean graduation parties, not grad school parties.

High school or college graduation ?

Okay—so you are here to criticize the OP, just like I am here to criticize you.

DP was wondering same.

Clarifying does not equal criticize. weird post pp.

[Anonymous]

No gifts for friends at HS grad party. It would essentially be passing the same Amazon gift card back and forth anyways.

Kids just show up.

We give to nieces/nephews and very close neighbor (grew up with them) but nobody else. It’s not the norm in our circle where HS graduation is just expected- not first Gen big deal thing.