My MIL does not wash her hands after using the bathroom

[Anonymous]

She has been visiting for a 4 days and the guest bathroom is just off the kitchen hall and she doesn't use the fan for privacy, so that is how I know.

It is yucky.

I just wanted to get that off my chest. Especially because DH says I can't expect him to say anything.

[Anonymous]

That’s absolutely disgusting. I’m sorry 😫 if she’s staying longer than a week I’d bring it up, she’ll contaminate the rest of your house.

[Anonymous]

My MIL does this, then comes out of the bathroom digging her pocket kleenex around her chronically stuffed up nose, shoves the dirty kleenex back in her pocket, then wants to rearrange all the silverware on the table. It's a real treat.

[Anonymous]

My MIL hardly ever showers. In the 25+ years I’ve known her I’ve never ever seen her get in or out of the shower once.

She stayed with us for a week when my kids were young and she didn’t shower once. The entire 7 days. She said she “didn’t have time” b/c she was busy watching the kids. We were home in the mornings and evenings. She had plenty of time. She’s just gross.

[Anonymous]

Maybe it’s time to put up a sign in the bathroom like the ones restaurants have for their employees. Being a MIL doesn’t entitle someone to spread their fecal matter and bodily fluids around YOUR house.

[Anonymous]

I would loudly announce the fancy soap you’re putting in her bathroom and make sure she has enough soft towels and check “do you have enough clean towels to dry your hands after you wash them?” A little passive aggressive action may work best here.

Then up your hand washing and don’t touch your face, etc

[Anonymous]

In the late 1990s, I had a coworker who didn’t wash her hands after using the restroom. She insisted it was okay because her mother had taught her that she didn’t have to. This coworker called out sick 3/4 of the time and made it very clear that she would file an age discrimination lawsuit if she was fired, so the company just let her do it. She stank of cigarettes and was on constant smoke breaks when she did come in. She was an administrative assistant who didn’t bother to learn how to use a computer, so all she could do was answer phone calls. She was a real piece of work. I couldn’t believe they were afraid to fire her.

Does your MIL at least wash her hands before handling food? That would be a dealbreaker for me.

[Anonymous]

That is so gross. I would make up a lie and say I was just diagnosed with an autoimmune disorder and the doctor said that everyone in the household would need to be super vigilant about hand washing. I would add that I’m sorry to have nag all our guests about it, but doctor’s orders and there is extra soap and towels in the bathroom thanks.

[Anonymous]

Is this something new on her part? Could she be having some cognitive decline?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:That’s absolutely disgusting. I’m sorry 😫 if she’s staying longer than a week I’d bring it up, she’ll contaminate the rest of your house.

I agree it’s gross but the rest of this is over the top. She’ll “contaminate the house”?

[Anonymous]

I wouldn't say anything. She isn't going to change at her age, and you are not at any greater risk from her now than before you realized this habit.

I wash my hands every time now, but I grew up in a household that didn't (it took having a baby to change me). We were not constantly getting pink eye or whatever you're imagining. You will be fine for this visit.

[Anonymous]

Use wipes to disinfect countertops and cabinet/door handles frequently during her visits and don’t let her prepare any food for you.

[Anonymous]

Your MIL should wash her hands but so many people on DCUM are hysterical about “germs,” I can’t believe people live this way.

Actually what I can’t believe is that people live with this level of anxiety about contamination and illness but then are comforted by rituals that don’t have a lot of evidence or efficacy. If you’re going to be hysterical, why not at least go take a microbiology class or something? Food safety certification?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She has been visiting for a 4 days and the guest bathroom is just off the kitchen hall and she doesn't use the fan for privacy, so that is how I know.

It is yucky.

I just wanted to get that off my chest. Especially because DH says I can't expect him to say anything.

Put a sign in guest bath requesting guests to use fan and soap. Put nice smelling soap and lotion in there.

[Anonymous]

Also put hand sanitizer and sanitizing wipes there.