My MIL does not wash her hands after using the bathroom

[Anonymous]

I agree this is gross, but I do not understand people who pay this much attention to policing others' hygiene.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am nearly compulsive about handwashing but then I work in healthcare and have taken microbiology.

I also know that studies have shown the large majority of men and a majority of women also don’t wash hands after using toilet. So clearly this might be ewwwwww, but it’s not a species threatening behavior. In fact it’s a mere blink of the eye in the human timeline that we have had soap and a half blink since we formulated the germ theory of disease.

OP, I sympathize. Spring clean once she’s gone, with careful attention to disinfecting doorknobs and light switches. You’ll be okay either way but the spring cleaning will cheer you up.

PS I bet your husband doesn’t wash after toilet when you’re not around. 😉

As a healthcare worker, can you explain how this woman is able to live her life even without hand washing? Is it most important for the vulnerable people? This woman is a grandmother so I assume she is 60+. I am not advocating for non hand washing but maybe her tolerance for germs has just been raised?

[Anonymous]

So, I'm a handwasher but just humor me here:
you go to the bathroom, take down your pants, use TP to wipe and likely your hand NEVER touches any part of the body because it's wrapped in TP.
Why are we so anal (pun intended ) about this?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn't say anything. She isn't going to change at her age, and you are not at any greater risk from her now than before you realized this habit.

I wash my hands every time now, but I grew up in a household that didn't (it took having a baby to change me). We were not constantly getting pink eye or whatever you're imagining. You will be fine for this visit. [/quote]

Same.

[Anonymous]

Maybe she has hand sanitizer with her.

Although I do have to say I rarely contaminate my hands when using the bathroom. The only thing they touch 99% of the time is dry toilet paper. While I wash my hands out of habit, there really isn't much to wash off them at home. The bathrooms are clean and only I use my bathroom. I wash them in public because of door handles and taps etc.

Do most of you really get urine / feces / blood on yourselves when using the bathroom? If not, what are you washing off your hands at home?

[Anonymous]

I was once in a Publix bathroom where an older woman in the next stall loudly groaned and whimpered for a good while doing her business. Then she flushed and went straight out without washing her hands. Imagine her hands touching all the produce--shudder.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So, I'm a handwasher but just humor me here:
you go to the bathroom, take down your pants, use TP to wipe and likely your hand NEVER touches any part of the body because it's wrapped in TP.
Why are we so anal (pun intended ) about this?

Yes, someone explain this please!

[Anonymous]

Op here. Didn't realize handwashing was so polarizing!

To answer a few questions just for sport:

-I wasn't analyzing bathroom use. We just have a small house and the guest bath opens right into the kitchen.
-MIL didn't cook on this visit, luckily, but did put dishes away multiple times
-DH will never be the one to say something. When I reminded him that this happened on her last visit and that he and I had discussed it, he said "really? I don't remember that at all"
-MIL is a fan of soap and we actually went shopping for nice soaps for her friends. I think they use them for scenting their linen closets and drawers.
-MIL does not shower on her visits although we have a safe and accessible shower and very nice bathroom and towels. Our sheets yellow after her visits and it's a big production to get them clean, but that's another post.
-MIL has lived here for 50 years but is from a country where many people use different manners in different contexts- at home she adheres to the culture of her family of origin, and in restaurants and public places she adheres to the culture of her native country's former colonizers. Which I guess sort of explains things?
-I could never, ever say something to her which is why I had to blurt everything out here!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So, I'm a handwasher but just humor me here:
you go to the bathroom, take down your pants, use TP to wipe and likely your hand NEVER touches any part of the body because it's wrapped in TP.
Why are we so anal (pun intended ) about this?

Yes, someone explain this please!

I once read something (no idea the source) that said that washing your hands after using the bathroom is more about washing your hands regularly during the day then the fact that they are getting germy in the bathroom more specifically than at other times during the day. After washing your skin is also drier so they are less likely to pickup germs for a time. It kind of made sense to me and covers the question of how are our hands getting so dirty by mostly touching tp...and how OPs mom as well as mostly 12 year old boys are not dead.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I agree this is gross, but I do not understand people who pay this much attention to policing others' hygiene.

Some of us don’t like fecal matter spread around our houses. We’re so strange.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here. Didn't realize handwashing was so polarizing!

To answer a few questions just for sport:

-I wasn't analyzing bathroom use. We just have a small house and the guest bath opens right into the kitchen.
-MIL didn't cook on this visit, luckily, but did put dishes away multiple times
-DH will never be the one to say something. When I reminded him that this happened on her last visit and that he and I had discussed it, he said "really? I don't remember that at all"
-MIL is a fan of soap and we actually went shopping for nice soaps for her friends. I think they use them for scenting their linen closets and drawers.
-MIL does not shower on her visits although we have a safe and accessible shower and very nice bathroom and towels. Our sheets yellow after her visits and it's a big production to get them clean, but that's another post.
-MIL has lived here for 50 years but is from a country where many people use different manners in different contexts- at home she adheres to the culture of her family of origin, and in restaurants and public places she adheres to the culture of her native country's former colonizers. Which I guess sort of explains things?
-I could never, ever say something to her which is why I had to blurt everything out here!

This post explains quite a bit. I get it now, OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That’s absolutely disgusting. I’m sorry 😫 if she’s staying longer than a week I’d bring it up, she’ll contaminate the rest of your house.

I agree it’s gross but the rest of this is over the top. She’ll “contaminate the house”?

Unless she's shoved her hands up her a$$ contaminating the house is an idiotic response.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here. Didn't realize handwashing was so polarizing!

To answer a few questions just for sport:

-I wasn't analyzing bathroom use. We just have a small house and the guest bath opens right into the kitchen.
-MIL didn't cook on this visit, luckily, but did put dishes away multiple times
-DH will never be the one to say something. When I reminded him that this happened on her last visit and that he and I had discussed it, he said "really? I don't remember that at all"
-MIL is a fan of soap and we actually went shopping for nice soaps for her friends. I think they use them for scenting their linen closets and drawers.
-MIL does not shower on her visits although we have a safe and accessible shower and very nice bathroom and towels. Our sheets yellow after her visits and it's a big production to get them clean, but that's another post.
-MIL has lived here for 50 years but is from a country where many people use different manners in different contexts- at home she adheres to the culture of her family of origin, and in restaurants and public places she adheres to the culture of her native country's former colonizers. Which I guess sort of explains things?
-I could never, ever say something to her which is why I had to blurt everything out here!

I wouldn't be thrilled with the non handwashing but the putting dishes away without washing your hands would push me over the edge. I am the furthest from a germaphobe, but you're eating off the dishes. I'm very laid back when it comes to handwashing except around food and dishes.

[Anonymous]

Ugh. I'm going to bet that MIL also demands a wheelchair for herself at the airport even though she can walk just fine.

Tell her to wash her stinking hands.

[Anonymous]

NP. Sadly, I have seen restaurant cooks come out of restrooms while the toilet was still flushing, so it was clear they didn't wash their hands.

I shudder to think about this probably being the norm in restaurants.