My son has such bad luck. Anyone else feel the same?

[Anonymous]

I have two kids and one son seems to have the best luck while the other always seems to have the worst luck.

Some examples:
The younger one seems to always get the best teachers while his older brother gets the class with the sub or the hard grader who yells.

The older one broke his arm quite badly right before high school so couldn’t play on two sports teams that he had played all his life. He had just returned to play after COVID.

The younger one got lucky and when he tried out there were so many seniors who had just graduated so there was plenty of spaces open.

Older one applied for something at school he really wanted but unfortunately the 3 seniors in charge were good friends with a girl my son turned down for prom. (My son didn’t go to prom and was polite to the girl but the girl has been talking badly about him).

Younger found out a day later he got a really good summer job through a friends dad. He also applied for a leadership position at school and got it.

Super happy for the younger son but it’s tough to see the older son continually disappointed.

Anyone have a lucky and seemingly unlucky kid?

[Anonymous]

I think you need to stop looking at it as lucky/unlucky.

[Anonymous]

I wouldn’t consider that luck except the broken bone.

[Anonymous]

Yes. This was the case for my sibling and I growing up and it never changed into adulthood. Heavy mental health issues for my sibling (that they have a handle on, but it's constant work), career change was very difficult to pull off and ended up in a terrible accident and while they fully recovered physically, it's hard to shake. Thank goodness drugs and alcohol never entered the picture because it would have made everything so much worse. I fell uphill, my whole life, married for love, healthy kids, a career that pays well and I enjoy. I just try to be a battery charger with my sibling and not add to their bad luck. But you never know, I know plenty of people who's luck turned around later in life. It's random and unfair.

[Anonymous]

Why did he turn the girl down for prom even tho he apparently didn’t want to ask anyone else, since he wound up not going?

That’s a little….socially inept unless you have a good reason (the asker is mean or you already have a date etc).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why did he turn the girl down for prom even tho he apparently didn’t want to ask anyone else, since he wound up not going?

That’s a little….socially inept unless you have a good reason (the asker is mean or you already have a date etc).

Because he didn't want to go at all? Regardless, if he was polite that's no reason to hold it against him. It would sound really misogynistic with genders reversed.

[Anonymous]

My brother is one of those people for whom everything that could go wrong does go wrong. On the other hand, we have a cousin who has incredible luck. Everything breaks his way. Except for those two, everyone else I know is lucky sometimes and unlucky other times, the way you’d expect it to be.

[Anonymous]

The prom thing sounds at least like an example of falling to make your own luck. It would have been one thing if he wanted to go with someone else, but to not even go? That seems unnecessarily harmful. She shouldn't be talking badly about him, but it sounds like he could have had the opportunity if he had shown kindness.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes. This was the case for my sibling and I growing up and it never changed into adulthood. Heavy mental health issues for my sibling (that they have a handle on, but it's constant work), career change was very difficult to pull off and ended up in a terrible accident and while they fully recovered physically, it's hard to shake. Thank goodness drugs and alcohol never entered the picture because it would have made everything so much worse. I fell uphill, my whole life, married for love, healthy kids, a career that pays well and I enjoy. I just try to be a battery charger with my sibling and not add to their bad luck. But you never know, I know plenty of people who's luck turned around later in life. It's random and unfair.

This is very similar to me and my older brother. (I’m younger sister). In hindsight, his “bad luck,” can really be linked to serious mental health issues that started in his 20s, creating cascading problems, unemployment, money problems, drugs/alcohol issues, being alone, having to care for our elderly parents…. By contrast, I have it all. Good marriage, great kids, a career even if it doesn’t pay that well and is meh… knock on wood, health.. better money decisions that have created real wealth. We fight a lot, but I really do want the best for him. He has found love at 52, with someone more than two decades younger (ugh).

[Anonymous]

My goodness, the boy shouldn't have to take someone to prom if he didn't want to and certainly doesn't deserve to be hazed for it, he was kind and polite.

Would you tell your daughter she had to go with a boy she didn't want to. GMAFB

[Anonymous]

that is tough, things usually do even out. is there anything special you can do for the less lucky kid (maybe a cool summer program you can pay for that relates to one of his interests?)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My goodness, the boy shouldn't have to take someone to prom if he didn't want to and certainly doesn't deserve to be hazed for it, he was kind and polite.

Would you tell your daughter she had to go with a boy she didn't want to. GMAFB

+100

[Anonymous]

Yes, my DH and his older bro.

Both bought rental homes in small college town. DH flipped and fnan our kitchen reno. Bro waited too long to sell, town changes student rental rules and house sold under water.

DH has obscure college major but makes bank, bro gave up on life after nasty divorce and now door dashes.

Yes bro had a run of bad luck, but he also has victim mentality, never thinks it's him. He barely makes an effort then complains he has hard life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:that is tough, things usually do even out. is there anything special you can do for the less lucky kid (maybe a cool summer program you can pay for that relates to one of his interests?)

That’s what I was thinking of doing. And sometimes things do go his way it is just really strange that maybe his younger brother just us really lucky? Like his grandfather bought a couple of scratch off lottery tickets for fun and brought them over to randomly give one to each kid and the younger one of course won $100. Or we would buy 2 of the same toys and give them to them for Christmas and the older one will have something wonky with his when we open the boxes.

Obviously the older one will get over not getting this opportunity and maybe something better will come along so his luck will change. He is a nice kid and in comparison to many others nothing really bad has happened so overall I realize that in itself is good luck. Is just tough to see your kid so disappointed.

[Anonymous]

Yes!!!
i have 3 kids (high schoolers).

One has normal luck.

My Son has terrible luck. He always got the terrible teachers, bad coaches, crappy assignments. I could go on and on and on. If he tried out for something and there were 23 spots he would be number 24. If there were 2 spots he would be number 3. Just terrible, horrible luck all through childhood.
He's a lovely kid and has many friends. Just bad luck.

The third lives a charmed life. Everything works out for her. She gets everything she applies for or tries out for. She gets the best teachers, etc. She routinely wins raffles and lotteries (like every time anything is a random draw or lottery she wins---WEIRD but it's been going on for years).