Travel team, 14 yr old not getting much/any playing time

[Anonymous]

My son has been on this team for about a year now and has always gotten sufficient playing time. He's a good player, not an amazing one, but works hard and shows up. The past several games he has gotten either no or only a few minutes of playing time with no explanation from the coach. I have encouraged my son to ask and he probably will but is this normal? He is not on the top team and I feel like he should be playing...if he is doing badly, take him out, but to not be put in at all is infuriating to me and I'm sure feels really crappy for my son. There is a new kid on his team who plays his position and is better than my son, so he gets why he is getting less time, but close to none was not expected. Maybe this is the norm and he just need to deal. Or maybe I need to talk to the coach? I'm not sure.

[Anonymous]

Your son needs to talk to the coach himself at 14.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your son needs to talk to the coach himself at 14.

Agree...he's pretty reserved when it comes to these things and after the past few games his confidence is getting shaken so its getting hard to encourage this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your son needs to talk to the coach himself at 14.

this please don’t coaches hate it

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your son needs to talk to the coach himself at 14.

this please don’t coaches hate it

Hate what? Parents talking to them or the kid? I can see them hating parents talking to them but players definitely need to talk to their coaches if not happy. right?

[Anonymous]

I would say it's ok for the parent to talk to the coach at this point also. The coach might not realize he's not playing your son....I've seen U11 coaches leave kids out of games except for 5 minutes due to poor time management, and they all should be playing half the game at that age as a developmental rule, but alas here we are as paying customers. I think the squeaky wheel gets some grease in this case. Bring it up, figure it out and get him back out there. My kid loved her team up until the point the coach left her out for 90% of the game, then she immediately felt bad about herself and didn't want to play on that team any more.... Coach just had poor time management skills. She's been playing 80% of the game ever since. Good luck!

[Anonymous]

I disagree. This is a lesson for both you and your son. Your son can advocate for himself. You coach him through what to say. Coaches respect that more and will see the desire to play coming from your son, not you, and that’s what is important.

Anonymous wrote:I would say it's ok for the parent to talk to the coach at this point also. The coach might not realize he's not playing your son....I've seen U11 coaches leave kids out of games except for 5 minutes due to poor time management, and they all should be playing half the game at that age as a developmental rule, but alas here we are as paying customers. I think the squeaky wheel gets some grease in this case. Bring it up, figure it out and get him back out there. My kid loved her team up until the point the coach left her out for 90% of the game, then she immediately felt bad about herself and didn't want to play on that team any more.... Coach just had poor time management skills. She's been playing 80% of the game ever since. Good luck!

[Anonymous]

If I’m paying travel fees I’m allowed to speak to the Coach about playing time.
I’d have my kid try first but if no change I’m speaking up.

[Anonymous]

I’m sorry he isn’t getting to play. I understand the concept that minutes are based on skill level but it’s wrong to roster a player and not play them at all. How can they improve without playing time? Plus, it destroys self-confidence which further is a detriment to performance. I agree the best course of action is for him to speak to the coach. Just make sure he doesn’t approach the coach right after a game. When my son has something to discuss with his coach, he will text in advance and ask the coach when he might be able to talk.

Has he tried out for other teams for next season? He is better off to change teams to one where he plays even if it means playing in a lower division.

[Anonymous]

My SO is a coach. It doesn't hurt to follow up with the coach after your kid talks to him just so everyone is on the same page. I assume you are paying for this team and making the effort to get him there.

[Anonymous]

14 is a transitional age. Some coaches are intimidating others are not. It’s very easy to see how communicative a coach is. For a B team and money paid, if kids not comfortable. Just reach out and ask for a feedback but kid uncomfortable with approaching coach. Put it on coach to talk to player and stay out if it. You will know what type of person they are and if you want them to coach your kid from this.

[Anonymous]

Thanks all. This is OP. This is a travel team so we are very definitely paying and unfortunately I don't think its a situation where the coach is unaware.

I am hoping my son will talk to his coach this week at practice. If he doesn't or doesn't feel comfortable, I will talk with him either before this weekends game or cross my fingers that it will resolve itself...and then talk to him if it doesn't. And yes, he is trying out for another team so that may be a solution too.

[Anonymous]

If the coach is going to not play the kid while his family is making financial and time committments, then he deserves to be bothered by annoying parents who want answers. There is no real good reason for this. If you aren't going to pay someone, don't put them on your roster.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Thanks all. This is OP. This is a travel team so we are very definitely paying and unfortunately I don't think its a situation where the coach is unaware.

I am hoping my son will talk to his coach this week at practice. If he doesn't or doesn't feel comfortable, I will talk with him either before this weekends game or cross my fingers that it will resolve itself...and then talk to him if it doesn't. And yes, he is trying out for another team so that may be a solution too.

Our coach gave my player the cold shoulder when they found out she was trying out for another team. Lets hope your son's lack of playing time is not due to a jealous coach, who is giving your child less minutes because they are looking at other teams. -Coaches need to cut that crap out.

[Anonymous]

You should both talk to the coach, but realistically, the likely outcome is that your son will drop one team level next year and get more playing time.
My son no longer plays travel, but it would drive me insane that when they had guest players from a higher level team who played his position, he would get no playing time in that game. He didn't permanently drop because those guest players stayed with their own teams, but the coach was more than happy to bench him for the games they were there in hopes of getting a win. It sucks.