Fifty isn't old

[Anonymous]

The many threads here about how people over 40 who divorce shouldn't want a life partner again are perplexing. For most UMC people in their 40s, they're only halfway through their life.

And I'm confused by the people who imagine that people in their 50s no longer have an interest in sex, as if they are old rickety people whose bones can't handle it or something. I understand that those who are very young, like under 25, see anyone over 50 as an ancient grandma. But anyone in their 30s or older who has a job and is in daily contact with "peers" who are over 50 has no excuse. This IG post features celebrities who look better at 50 than most of us looked at 25. But it still makes this point. https://www.instagram.com/reel/C6mfFgnyCuf/?igsh=MXRvd2ZneWRlOWo1eg%3D%3D&fbclid=IwZXh0bgNhZW0CMTAAAR31Ty3JF-tpzWN64lH0xcGxI3HrY9Pfyx9Ttxam-uh7duQBGPVoVqwiBiY_aem_AYHNq9AAyzOCxpCtWqPYY7ELdZw_rSov4ToJG91b0njRYAYXowqjjCEyqBxxJgBGYXA6qYUS1IRrwaRvYjGXnJK9

[Anonymous]

In current economy, divorced men over 50 should be focused on paying college costs and building retirement funds, they don't need unnecessary aggravation in life.

[Anonymous]

I’m almost 50 and while it’s not old, it’s not young either.

[Anonymous]

I think most people over 50 would marry if they met the right person, but that "the right person" is much more narrowly defined.

People make more compromises when they marry younger because the benefits to marriage are more obvious. If you want kids, marriage is a much more desirable setting for them than having them on your own or in a non marital relationship. There are huge financial benefits to marriage if you are still working on building wealth and maybe still working up to home ownership, especially if you are both working full time (though if family oriented, there can still be financial efficiencies to marriage even if you only have one income). Marriage also serves important social functions during this phase in life, creating networks that help with careers, social supports, and child rearing.

Once you are over 50, a lot of those goals are no longer relevant. So people are less willing to make major compromises in order to combine their lives with someone, even someone they really love. Where a 32 year old might be willing to move to another city, deal with difficult ILs, or put up with a demanding job in order to marry someone they want to start a family and build a life with, a 52 year old is far less likely to be willing to make those concessions.

It's not about thinking your life is over at 50 or that people no longer want love or sex or companionship. It's that marriage is about much more than love/sex/companionship (it's about money and kids and creating a single household), and those things are either less appealing or less important to people 50+.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In current economy, divorced men over 50 should be focused on paying college costs and building retirement funds, they don't need unnecessary aggravation in life.

This^^^

[Anonymous]

I generally agree with you, OP, but please don't use celebrities as examples of what 50s people look like.

-53 yr old.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In current economy, divorced men over 50 should be focused on paying college costs and building retirement funds, they don't need unnecessary aggravation in life.

My retirement portfolio is great and the 529s look good, too. I have no worries on either front. Thanks for asking!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I generally agree with you, OP, but please don't use celebrities as examples of what 50s people look like.

-53 yr old.

It all depends on the person. Many examples of two people roughly the same age, one looks great and the other one looks old and broken.

[Anonymous]

I'm 53. It sure as hell isn't young.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I generally agree with you, OP, but please don't use celebrities as examples of what 50s people look like.

-53 yr old.

It all depends on the person. Many examples of two people roughly the same age, one looks great and the other one looks old and broken.

Very true. I am 42 and younger men tell me I don't look a day over 21. My mother also is 65 and has no wrinkles. So i get away with dating younger men and I often look younger than those younger men as well

[Anonymous]

You are delulu. 50 is old.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You are delulu. 50 is old.

“Old” is invariably defined by each person as “ten years older than I am” and is a moving target as they age.

[Anonymous]

Maybe not old for men. For most women 50 is well beyond their LFD.

[Anonymous]

Maybe not old but too wise to have the govt dictate your relationships and finances.

[Anonymous]

I'm closer to 60 than 50. I still have career and personal aspirations. I like to try new activities and cuisine. My sex drive isn't what it was 25 years ago but I can still do it many times per week and sometimes twice in a day. Fifty can be pretty young if you're fit and active.