Do you think most athletes were pushed by parents

[Anonymous]

In our circles, there are so many strong athletes. I don’t really push my kids. Some people probably think I do but compared to the more dedicated families, we really don’t push. I’m thinking of all the families we know whose kids do very high levels of gymnastics, swim, hockey, tennis, etc. These kids train several hours everyday since a young age. I know there are lots of threads about travel sports on here. My kids have always been athletic and we have always run around to 1-2 hour practices daily. This puts us in the normal athlete family. The more dedicated ones train much more, maybe including homeschooling.

Do you think this is kid driven or parent driven?

[Anonymous]

No, the ones who make it to the pros have the drive in themselves.

[Anonymous]

As a former athlete, I can tell you I pushed myself. I have fond memories of talking my mom into sitting in the living room to watch and critique me, begging my coaches to come to spot me for "just one more" over and over, etc.

[Anonymous]

I agree with the other posters. My kids are swimmers and it is a complete waste if they are not self-motivated. They can't improve their times if they don't really want to win. I don't reward them for winning medals, but I do tell them that I am proud of them for their hard work and for giving it their best. If they ever want to switch to recreational swim, I will switch them right away. It would be cheaper for me!

[Anonymous]

The best athletes were self-motivated but the parents hand the bandwidth (time, energy, financial) to keep up with it.

[Anonymous]

I think so especially with travel sports and parents wanting to keep kids so busy. But, these parents have always existed, I had a few friends with parents like this.

[Anonymous]

For us, the kids are super motivated, but they wouldn't have been able to continue at a high level if not for parents' support/enthusiasm. The kids on their team who are getting pushed by parents aren't doing as well (I'm generalizing, of course, but that's the trend).

[Anonymous]

My SO's three kids are very high level soccer players. He was a high level players himself. I wouldn't say he pushed them, but his kids grew up in the world of soccer and it was like breathing to them. By the time they were in high school they were pretty much making their own decisions about what they wanted to do, but their experience and skill level was high so they had lots of choices.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In our circles, there are so many strong athletes. I don’t really push my kids. Some people probably think I do but compared to the more dedicated families, we really don’t push. I’m thinking of all the families we know whose kids do very high levels of gymnastics, swim, hockey, tennis, etc. These kids train several hours everyday since a young age. I know there are lots of threads about travel sports on here. My kids have always been athletic and we have always run around to 1-2 hour practices daily. This puts us in the normal athlete family. The more dedicated ones train much more, maybe including homeschooling.

Do you think this is kid driven or parent driven?

It's mostly parent driven, which isn't a bad thing at all. It's nice that parents try to pass on things that are important to them, be it sports or something else. It becomes bad when the parent doesn't realize that the child isn't interested in the activity but forces participation anyway.

[Anonymous]

OP, I have a DS that is like you're describing. A natural athlete, plays various sports etc.

We haven't pushed at all. We're in rec leagues only. He asks to sign up for stuff with his school friends and if we can make it happen, we do.

There's this other kid on one of his soccer teams that is not as athletic as DS, and that was very clear a year ago when they were playing together.

That kid's dad arranged for a coach to work 1:1 with him.

Now, that kid is easily as good as my DS, if not better.

I'm sure the kid loves soccer and loves to play! But the parents are making the decision to invest in the "extras" that will make a difference in a highly-competitive area.

Now I'm stuck wondering if we're doing the wrong thing by being chill, especially since DS is only 6!!

[Anonymous]

Do you mean people who become elite athletes? It is almost always a combination of motivated child and motivated parent.

[Anonymous]

I think it’s majority kid driven.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I agree with the other posters. My kids are swimmers and it is a complete waste if they are not self-motivated. They can't improve their times if they don't really want to win. I don't reward them for winning medals, but I do tell them that I am proud of them for their hard work and for giving it their best. If they ever want to switch to recreational swim, I will switch them right away. It would be cheaper for me!

+1. This.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do you mean people who become elite athletes? It is almost always a combination of motivated child and motivated parent.

This is the right answer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, I have a DS that is like you're describing. A natural athlete, plays various sports etc.

We haven't pushed at all. We're in rec leagues only. He asks to sign up for stuff with his school friends and if we can make it happen, we do.

There's this other kid on one of his soccer teams that is not as athletic as DS, and that was very clear a year ago when they were playing together.

That kid's dad arranged for a coach to work 1:1 with him.

Now, that kid is easily as good as my DS, if not better.

I'm sure the kid loves soccer and loves to play! But the parents are making the decision to invest in the "extras" that will make a difference in a highly-competitive area.

Now I'm stuck wondering if we're doing the wrong thing by being chill, especially since DS is only 6!!

Good one! I totally thought your post was serious until I got to the last line! LOL