Is this request rude or racist?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So much criticism for someone working a low paying job and willing to take care of people whose own children aren't willing to care for them. If wigs keep a caretaker happy and engaged while she changes your parents diapers and feeds them, tasks you aren't willing to do, you shouldn't have a single complaint about hair.

It is not an either or. She is not Mother Theresa

She is a low skilled worker who is doing this for the money. Obviously, that is the only reason she is doing it when you consider who she puts first.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It doesn’t seem that unreasonable to me. The manager is asking her to have a consistent look at avoid confusing patients with memory issues.

She can wear a name tag.

[Anonymous]

So racist. This must be in Virginia.

[Anonymous]

I would not address it. If a patient becomes scared and screaming and she gets upset your problem is solved. My mom has dementia. I would rather her freak out on the employee than for this topic to be broached before there’s an issue.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is racist. If she's fired over it, she should absolutely get an attorney.

Please don't assert legal advice if you're not educated in the law.

As a black woman, who is also an attorney; to review this case I'd need to remove all emotion involved, strictly perceiving it from a legal standpoint (in discussion of whether litigation/a lawsuit by the employee would be successful or even advisable).

After review... this may qualify as hurt feelings, but it does NOT qualify as racism.

This particular business is an establishment that caters to and cares for the elderly -- including those who struggle with dementia & alzheimers.

As with the 99.9% of businesses, they aren't in business to cater to the employees, as the employees do NOT pay money to be there.
The patients do -- there is a difference.

After reviewing the information listed here, in my opinion, I feel strongly that this employee would not be successful in litigation.

The justification -- the boss wasn't being racist by telling the employee to keep her looks cohesive; as this was stated out of concern for their resident's elucidation & safety.

Without additional corroborating evidence or statements, it would be extremly difficult to prove that this was a racial issue on these grounds alone.

The ONLY grounds I can presuppose which may be a mitigating factor for litigation, would be if the employer had stated "NO wigs allowed, period", as counsel could argue that women of color are the subset of society that predominantly purchase weaves, wigs, bundles, falls or extensions (besides those with alopecia, patients receiving chemotherapy, etc) and therefore, the employer was singling her out due to race.

However, even then I believe grounds substantiating racism would be shaky at best, as it would be difficult to petition or convince a jury of racism with this evidence alone.

If the employer hasn't done so yet, they should create a policy & procedures manual which states their policies clearly, ASAP.

As long as these policies don't infringe on an employee's civil rights or safety, it is up to the employee to decide whether the workplace and their policies are a good fit for them (and yes, these policies include mandating what the employee can and cannot wear, as well as clearly defining what IS and is NOT acceptable).

That's just the way it is.
Workplace uniform is a requirement in most places of employment & businesses.
Nobody is being forced to work at a business if they don't like their policies.

In my opinion, the case would most likely come down to exposing the character of the employer/defendant, however...

If that's the method they're going to use, the plaintiff had better make sure that her closets are skeleton free as well, because a defense attorney WILL do a deep dive into the plaintiffs background to see if they too are of good character & if they should be believed as a credible witness, as well.

In my opinion, litigation would NOT be advisable for this employee, as they would be perceived as selfish, inconsiderate and much more concerned with an entitlement to their fashion statement, rather than a concern for their patient's safety, security & well being.

Any defense attorney worth their weight WILL exploit this as an unethical & immoral character flaw, and the employee will be painted as someone who can't see past their own selfishness, and should never be trusted to care for the elderly or infirmed again.

There is no light that this employee comes out looking positive in -- trust that this WILL leave an extremely bad taste in any jury's mouth.

You can also trust that once that genie is out of it's bottle, that employee has no control and no idea of where that information ends up, or how it can be used against them (ie; "well meaning" jurors contacting medical boards, board of nursing for their state, etc).

After all is said and done, he only people who would make any money in a case such as this, are the attorneys.

- signed, a black woman & attorney whose parent died of Alzheimers.

* these statements are speculative in nature and of my own.
I do not specialize or practice civil rights law, nor am I providing legal advice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s both racist snd rude and I’m a white woman. If anyone told me remotely similar to something like this I’d get a lawyer instantly.

And they would look at you and laugh.

[Anonymous]

Not reading all the replies.

Not racist and this is reasonable given the setting. Wearing a pony tail one day and curling your hair another is not at all like what OP is describing with the widely varying wigs.

[Anonymous]

If employee is caring for/working with people who have dementia, seems part of creating a therapeutic environment not to confuse them further. They can’t read name tags - go largely by visual input. THey find it reassuring to have a routine with same people around them. This isn’t a social setting for the worker - she is an employee and should be helping with stability and therapeutic environment.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s both racist snd rude and I’m a white woman. If anyone told me remotely similar to something like this I’d get a lawyer instantly.

Really? Instantly get a lawyer because your boss makes a reasonable request?

Well good for you for having absolutely zero problems in your life thus far, but shame on you for not realizing it…

[Anonymous]

May I say that as a college professor, the first 3 to 4 weeks of class is always interesting because of a couple of women wearing wigs that are completely different each time- changing their entire appearance. I have to get to know about 75 names in a short time and I seriously never know who these people are each time, and neither do some of the other students. That said, I would never ask them not to wear whatever wig, BUT, in a dementia center...yes, and the employee should just consider it to be common sense. They are there to help the patients.

How is it racist? Anyone can wear a wig.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It doesn’t seem that unreasonable to me. The manager is asking her to have a consistent look at avoid confusing patients with memory issues.

She can wear a name tag.

You don't understand dementia, do you?

[Anonymous]

Sorry, I don't understand how any of this is racist. How is it racist?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have no comment on if it racist or discriminatory BUT I HAVE A SOLUTION

I spent almost a decade in various leadership positions in long term care facilities as charge nurse on up to director of nursing and have encountered similar issues my solution is that staff member wear something else on their scrubs to help identify themselves daily to their residents that their residents can use to remember them by. I had one staff member who used a fake blue flower pinned to their scrub top every day. She of course had to cue the residents a lot at first “remember Mrs Smith I’m Larla with the blue flower that’s how you can remember me” but eventually they got it and many of them would look for that blue flower and her changing hair style became background noise that no one noticed

OP - can you suggest something like this?

So is the dementia patient supposed to remember what a blue flower means on one person, and a yellow scarf on another, etc?

IT'S DEMENTIA. DEMENTIA.

[Anonymous]

This is walking a very fine line between a valid and non-valid request, particularly because “hair hate” generally is directed at African American women. Do you insist everyone maintain their hairstyles with non changes? If an employee is going through chemo, do you insist s/he wear a wig in his/her old hairstyle?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have no comment on if it racist or discriminatory BUT I HAVE A SOLUTION

I spent almost a decade in various leadership positions in long term care facilities as charge nurse on up to director of nursing and have encountered similar issues my solution is that staff member wear something else on their scrubs to help identify themselves daily to their residents that their residents can use to remember them by. I had one staff member who used a fake blue flower pinned to their scrub top every day. She of course had to cue the residents a lot at first “remember Mrs Smith I’m Larla with the blue flower that’s how you can remember me” but eventually they got it and many of them would look for that blue flower and her changing hair style became background noise that no one noticed

OP - can you suggest something like this?

So is the dementia patient supposed to remember what a blue flower means on one person, and a yellow scarf on another, etc?

IT'S DEMENTIA. DEMENTIA.

Maybe replace all of the human caregivers with robots since uniformity from day to day is what matters. Not voice, not warmth. Robots gets a dent, throw it out. Because realistically if a hairstyle will throw the patients off that much so will all of the other things that make us humans: a groggy voice from a cold, a suntan, bruises, lupus rashes, getting a suspicious mole removed.