Is it really common for professors to invite students to their houses.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Bad bad bad idea to do it now!

Happens now quite frequently at privates. Schools no doubt have suggested rules. No one on one. Mix of girls and boys. Consider URM. Spouse needs to be there. No drinks unless all over 21.

Ha ha. I majored in Russian and we used to get hammered at department events, including dinners at professor's houses. And they used to come to our parties in the language dorm. One had a stocked bar in his office and seniors would do shots on Fridays. Other departments definitely had their own after-class traditions, some of which were more refined (but still included alcohol....the English and classics professors weren't going to NOT drink wine. Although, as I recall, the poli sci/econ profs were more into beer.)

Whats the point of going to a SLAC if you don't get the perks of a small school? Getting to know your professors, and interacting with them like an adult, is one of the reasons you go to a tiny school in the middle of nowhere.

And it’s shockingly inappropriate.
This entire thread is unreal to me.

It’s unreal to you that professors sometimes socialize with students? I feel like you’re the kind of person who wants to impose rigid rules on everyone because you’re deathly scared of losing any advantage. that really says more about your anxiety to squeeze out any possible advantave than them.

Colleges and universities are places where people learn and construct knowlege. Thinking and talking about their areas of study with other is literally how you do academics at a higher level.

Yes, it’s appalling inappropriate for professors to socialize with current students. Specifically when it’s exclusive - not the entire class being invited, but only the chosen few
The fact that the inappropriateness of this actually needs to be explained, and so many are defending this is bewildering.

You have a view I think that the purpose of college is to take classes and get grades so you want this wall --- like you would not want the judge who was best friends with opposing counsel. I get it. But college isn't that. It is growing and learning and these relationships are key to that process. It never has been this Civil Service Exam type system that you think it is. Can you go to college and never do this. Of course. I think your fairness point is overblown though. My room mate was a Russian major and sometimes people would come in from say Russia, Poland, or the Ukraine. I am pretty sure everyone who spoke Russian, Polish, Ukrainian, or even French was invited because that is what was spoken. I was never invited. It is often the top students. If you can be a top student you would get invited too. I was invited to things where I had a connection with the professor and my interest in what that professor did was well know. I actually can't see how that would help me. Indeed many of the times I was invited I had already finished my courses with that professor. Professors are not giving out As to people who come to dinner.

Guys we are talking about professors, employees of the school, showing favoritism to a few of their pets, while others are excluded. It’s just not professionally ethical. Who cares if it was common in the past? In case you haven’t noticed, views about what constitutes fair and appropriate behavior has been drastically changing. It seems to me that those who were lucky enough to to become the teacher’s pet can’t clearly view how inappropriate this is.

It’s not “favoritism.” It’s education. Do you also object to teachers giving better grades to some students? office hours? etc?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I went to a small liberal arts school and went to professors’ houses a lot. Never alone, but in a small group. One seminar I was in met at the professor’s house once a week. We’d have wine and cheese, talk about literature, and I’d feel very grown up...it was pretty cool. Sometimes a whole class was invited to a professor’s home. Sometimes just my boyfriend and I were invited to a particular professor’s house for dinner because we really connected with him and worked with him on a study he was doing. Spending time with my teachers outside of class was one of the best parts of my college experience.

I'm sure it was, but what about your classmates who weren't so socially saavy as to get these kind of invites? I'm sure they loved hearing how you and your boyfriend were receiving preferential treatment from the professor.

I never flaunted it. And maybe they were having dinner at the home of a different professor with whom they connected or worked with. I wouldn’t have cared if they did. We were all adults.

Oh, in that case it makes it totally cool

College students (and certainly grad students) are not children. They are adults preparing for professional careers in knowledge work. Would you object to a peer getting promoted at work because they did advanced work and had a strong relationship with the managers? Would you demand everyone get equal facetime with the boss? I’m sorry you don’t understand how this works. You sound grade-grubbing, like you’ll complain about any tiny thing you think disadvantages you or your child. College is a meritocracy which means better students will get more attention and perks. Just like life.

[Anonymous]

This thread is in part bizarre, in part awesome. So great to read about the many meaningful relationships some of you have/had with your advisors. But bizarre how many people don't understand how academia works. Where do you think professors come from? They are commonly the ones who started working/socializing with professors as undergrads. Training a young person to become an academic is a decade or longer process, often starting in undergrad. Academia is about interaction, discussion, close collaboration. Sometimes in the lab, but often the best research advances are born over beers or dinners among a small group of people discussing an idea.

Curious, do those of you clutching your pearls understand what professors actually do? Teaching undergraduates in classroom settings is about 10% of the job for those of us at research universities. Mentoring future academics is a substantially larger fraction of our job.

[Anonymous]

I had one professor when I was a senior; it was a really small, liberal arts college in a small town; she was new faculty, young and single, and my friend and I took a bunch of her classes that year. My friend and I developed a casual friendship with her, more than I had with any other professor. We dog sat for her once, and she invited us out to dinner once.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This thread is in part bizarre, in part awesome. So great to read about the many meaningful relationships some of you have/had with your advisors. But bizarre how many people don't understand how academia works. Where do you think professors come from? They are commonly the ones who started working/socializing with professors as undergrads. Training a young person to become an academic is a decade or longer process, often starting in undergrad. Academia is about interaction, discussion, close collaboration. Sometimes in the lab, but often the best research advances are born over beers or dinners among a small group of people discussing an idea.

Curious, do those of you clutching your pearls understand what professors actually do? Teaching undergraduates in classroom settings is about 10% of the job for those of us at research universities. Mentoring future academics is a substantially larger fraction of our job.

I agree with you, but people who see college students as “consumers” who are seeking the best ROI won’t understand you at all. I can’t totally blame them given the high cost of college these days. But it would be a shame if they tried to destroy the academic traditions of the university because they think all students are entitled to identical “service” from professors.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This thread is in part bizarre, in part awesome. So great to read about the many meaningful relationships some of you have/had with your advisors. But bizarre how many people don't understand how academia works. Where do you think professors come from? They are commonly the ones who started working/socializing with professors as undergrads. Training a young person to become an academic is a decade or longer process, often starting in undergrad. Academia is about interaction, discussion, close collaboration. Sometimes in the lab, but often the best research advances are born over beers or dinners among a small group of people discussing an idea.

Curious, do those of you clutching your pearls understand what professors actually do? Teaching undergraduates in classroom settings is about 10% of the job for those of us at research universities. Mentoring future academics is a substantially larger fraction of our job.

I agree with you, but people who see college students as “consumers” who are seeking the best ROI won’t understand you at all. I can’t totally blame them given the high cost of college these days. But it would be a shame if they tried to destroy the academic traditions of the university because they think all students are entitled to identical “service” from professors.

I'm not really worried about academic traditions being destroyed by this mindset. High as it is, undergraduate tuition is only a small part of my university's overall income (far more is from grants, endowments, donors, etc.). These people can think of themselves as consumers entitled to whatever they want, but it's not going to change how universities operate and how professors are expected to focus their time and effort.

[Anonymous]

Very common at least several decades ago. Fairly common for prof to invite entire class over for dinner and presentation of final projects. It would be weird, creepy and inappropriate if only a few or one student was invited, but inviting the entire class is a fine old academic tradition. I am sorry if it is less common now!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This thread is in part bizarre, in part awesome. So great to read about the many meaningful relationships some of you have/had with your advisors. But bizarre how many people don't understand how academia works. Where do you think professors come from? They are commonly the ones who started working/socializing with professors as undergrads. Training a young person to become an academic is a decade or longer process, often starting in undergrad. Academia is about interaction, discussion, close collaboration. Sometimes in the lab, but often the best research advances are born over beers or dinners among a small group of people discussing an idea.

Curious, do those of you clutching your pearls understand what professors actually do? Teaching undergraduates in classroom settings is about 10% of the job for those of us at research universities. Mentoring future academics is a substantially larger fraction of our job.

I agree with you, but people who see college students as “consumers” who are seeking the best ROI won’t understand you at all. I can’t totally blame them given the high cost of college these days. But it would be a shame if they tried to destroy the academic traditions of the university because they think all students are entitled to identical “service” from professors.

I'm not really worried about academic traditions being destroyed by this mindset. High as it is, undergraduate tuition is only a small part of my university's overall income (far more is from grants, endowments, donors, etc.). These people can think of themselves as consumers entitled to whatever they want, but it's not going to change how universities operate and how professors are expected to focus their time and effort.

DP. That’s great for your school, but it already has changed how many schools operate. PP is correct. The students-as-customers mindset has taken hold at many colleges.

[Anonymous]

I finished a Phd so lots of college and was never once invited to a professor's house.

[Anonymous]

I can see the PP's point about "favoritism," as a tenured faculty member myself. I remember when I was a PhD student that the male students were far more likely to be invited for drinks with senior faculty, who were overwhelmingly men. This was the result, however, of faculty afraid of being accused of sexual harassment. On the one had, I and the other women in my co-hort were not happy that the men were clearly building "social capital" with the older faculty. On the other hand, we figured out ways to socialize with the faculty informally like having group lunches and actively seeking out the mentorship of the few senior female faculty members, who were happy to help us.
My undergraduate experience was that pretty much entire seminars were invited to the professor's home. Or the majors (small major), or rotating groups. It was equitable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I finished a Phd so lots of college and was never once invited to a professor's house.

What area of study? What type of university? What decade?

[Anonymous]

My NESCAC DC had many dinners and lunches with professors.....at their homes, at restaurants and at dining halls. Wonderful experience and an excellent way to develop relationships.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I finished a Phd so lots of college and was never once invited to a professor's house.

I find this very surprising, but perhaps it depends on the field.
In the sciences, my advisor routinely invited “the lab” (grad students & undergrads who worked as research assistants) to their house. Spouses & kids were invited too. This was very normal (ie, not just my advisor doing this). This was at a large state university.
In undergrad, I don’t recall going to a professor’s house, but in small classes professors would occasionally take the whole class out for pizza or something. And we socialized with professors outside of class at restaurants when everyone of a specific major who was interested got together for a meal (very small school). None of this was ever one on one or inappropriate at all.

[Anonymous]

It's like a bear trap because on the one hand there are amazing opportunities for employment and advancement (and just good conversation!) inside but on the other hand it can be surrounded with a surprise layer of sexual assault and/or harassment if you're not careful. And also sometimes you will have to talk about their boring art/wine/hummell figurine collections. En garde!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's like a bear trap because on the one hand there are amazing opportunities for employment and advancement (and just good conversation!) inside but on the other hand it can be surrounded with a surprise layer of sexual assault and/or harassment if you're not careful. And also sometimes you will have to talk about their boring art/wine/hummell figurine collections. En garde!

My Hummel Collection is NOT boring, thank you very much.