Is it really common for professors to invite students to their houses.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can definitely see how personal invitations to a select few, or certainly one-on-one, can lead to abuses of power, harassment, etc. But I think the "favoritism" charge and fear of unfair grading sort of has things backward. As someone who socialized quite a bit with professors in undergrad (rarely one-on-one) and yes, at YLS, most often the students who developed closer relationships with professors were the ones who ALREADY had excelled. I.e. they had already gotten a great grade(s), written a brilliant paper, were an honors student... that is how they got the research assistant or TA position in the first place. The instances of dim kids somehow finagling preferential treatment from professors were basically... nil.

I disagree with this. I was by far the best student in classes but an immigrant and just not interested in socializing with the faculty. There was a lot of small talk which I hate anyway but especially when I can’t a handle on it.

Yes I agree that this is likely. But it sounds like you would not have wanted to go if you were invited.

I was invited multiple times! And I did go but hated it.

[Anonymous]

In grad school, yes, the class got invites to professor's home for dinner. It's always curious to see how nice faculty housing can be. She lived in Washington Mews as her spouse was a tenured professor at NYU.
When I was in college in the late 80s, it's wasn't unheard of to run into a professor at the local pub in the afternoon. You could sit down, have a beer and talk about the weakness of the last paper you handed in. Back then the drinking age was 18.
The professor who taught the History of NY always culminated the end of the semester with an inter-boro bike ride with the students.

That was then - things were more collegial between student and teacher.

[Anonymous]

Do people who frown upon this also frown at bosses/CEOs inviting only selected subordinates/employees for a social gathering at their houses?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’ve read a few stories about how Amy Chua was recently suspended from the Yale law faculty for inviting students to her house for parties, and the comments have a lot of remarks about how it’s common for professors to do this.
I’m pretty shocked about this, I was certainly never invited nor knew of anyone else who socialized with their professors off campus.
My husband never heard of this happening during law school either.
How does this even work? Unless the professor, is invited ALL of their students to their home, which is highly unlikely, inviting a select few students to your house for parties, shows outrageous favoritism. How can universities possibly justify allowing professors to do this?

Oh, really? What happened? Link if you have one.

DP. Please read this article re: Amy Chua. It is possible to not be an Amy Chua fan and still think Yale acted horribly.

https://www.theatlantic.com/ideas/archive/2021/07/amy-chua-yale-law-school-real-story-dinner-party/619558/

[Anonymous]

The Atlantic article shows just how horribly the so-called friend of the two students behaved. In hindsight, the New York article was as bad as the Rolling stone frat house rape hoax.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This thread is in part bizarre, in part awesome. So great to read about the many meaningful relationships some of you have/had with your advisors. But bizarre how many people don't understand how academia works. Where do you think professors come from? They are commonly the ones who started working/socializing with professors as undergrads. Training a young person to become an academic is a decade or longer process, often starting in undergrad. Academia is about interaction, discussion, close collaboration. Sometimes in the lab, but often the best research advances are born over beers or dinners among a small group of people discussing an idea.

Curious, do those of you clutching your pearls understand what professors actually do? Teaching undergraduates in classroom settings is about 10% of the job for those of us at research universities. Mentoring future academics is a substantially larger fraction of our job.

When the "me too" movement finally hits academia hard you will get why this is so inappropriate. People abuse power all.the.time in academia-often white males, but now plenty of women too. The more you loosen boundaries and add alcohol, the worse it can get.

Be careful what you ask for. Studies that show the benefits of an elite education for minorities and first gen college students attribute that to the social and networking opportunities available at those schools. The rich and connected kids that show up with those networks already in place won’t be the ones who are harmed. Can it be abused? Sure. But if you institute a complete ban on all social interaction, you’re going to throw the baby out with the bath water.

In academia or elsewhere in the professional world, being able to interact with, socially and otherwise, others who may not be like you is essential to success. There are geniuses who are so brilliant that their lack of social skills doesn’t matter, but they are few and far between. There is a reason that law firms take summer associates to lunch, and it isn’t just to give them a nice meal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The Atlantic article shows just how horribly the so-called friend of the two students behaved. In hindsight, the New York article was as bad as the Rolling stone frat house rape hoax.

And the Dean that trashed the other student’s chances at an internship because he wouldn’t lie about Chua was even worse.

Yale is a snake pit.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can definitely see how personal invitations to a select few, or certainly one-on-one, can lead to abuses of power, harassment, etc. But I think the "favoritism" charge and fear of unfair grading sort of has things backward. As someone who socialized quite a bit with professors in undergrad (rarely one-on-one) and yes, at YLS, most often the students who developed closer relationships with professors were the ones who ALREADY had excelled. I.e. they had already gotten a great grade(s), written a brilliant paper, were an honors student... that is how they got the research assistant or TA position in the first place. The instances of dim kids somehow finagling preferential treatment from professors were basically... nil.

I disagree with this. I was by far the best student in classes but an immigrant and just not interested in socializing with the faculty. There was a lot of small talk which I hate anyway but especially when I can’t a handle on it.

Yes I agree that this is likely. But it sounds like you would not have wanted to go if you were invited.

I was invited multiple times! And I did go but hated it.

Yes, so you basically prove the point. In 90% of cases, professors cultivate relationships with the academic superstars. Now it might be problematic in terms of time spent on a class overall (arguably weaker students need more, not less, attention), but the concerns that relationships somehow unfairly lead to better grades, results, etc. are misplaced IMHO.

[Anonymous]

In my experience this was very, very common in grad school. DH (in PHD program) and I (law school) both went to professor's houses for dinners and parties, and professors were both invited to attend student parties and actually showed up! Lots of drinking all around. This was in the early to mid 1990s.

[Anonymous]

Yes -- although I was not an academic superstar, I was invited because of working for a professor or being in a seminar class. DH was an academic superstar but I think he would have been invited anyway.

[Anonymous]

Common in law school but events were very calm, above board. Room mate getting masters in history had more events at professor's homes and they always had a drunken blast.

[Anonymous]

Many times invited and went. Became friends with several professors; still friends years later. One of them is a Pulitzer award winning writer and we used to go to coffee to discuss my work; he loved my writing. I was 20 and in love; too bad he was gay. I guess it really was about my writing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This happened several times when I was in law school. Not Yale, but another Ivy League school. I would not look up this as socializing with our professors and I don't think any of the other law students did. When I was a 1L, one professor opened his house during the first week of school for everyone in our section for a reception. We politely chatted with him and with each other and spouses. Not everyone came. Later, as 2Ls and 3Ls, profs would sometimes invite a seminar class over to his/her house, either for a discussion or for a potluck dinner. Again, this isn't really socializing.

I also attended a law professor's bris for his child when I worked closely with that professor. No, the professor did not invite every student on campus to the bris, nor would he have to. Rules of academic decorum are based on common sense, not on Title VII.

This is not at all what Chua was doing or what OP is talking about.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can definitely see how personal invitations to a select few, or certainly one-on-one, can lead to abuses of power, harassment, etc. But I think the "favoritism" charge and fear of unfair grading sort of has things backward. As someone who socialized quite a bit with professors in undergrad (rarely one-on-one) and yes, at YLS, most often the students who developed closer relationships with professors were the ones who ALREADY had excelled. I.e. they had already gotten a great grade(s), written a brilliant paper, were an honors student... that is how they got the research assistant or TA position in the first place. The instances of dim kids somehow finagling preferential treatment from professors were basically... nil.

I disagree with this. I was by far the best student in classes but an immigrant and just not interested in socializing with the faculty. There was a lot of small talk which I hate anyway but especially when I can’t a handle on it.

Yes I agree that this is likely. But it sounds like you would not have wanted to go if you were invited.

I was invited multiple times! And I did go but hated it.

Because you’re an immigrant? Odd.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's like a bear trap because on the one hand there are amazing opportunities for employment and advancement (and just good conversation!) inside but on the other hand it can be surrounded with a surprise layer of sexual assault and/or harassment if you're not careful. And also sometimes you will have to talk about their boring art/wine/hummell figurine collections. En garde!

My Hummel Collection is NOT boring, thank you very much.

It the surprise layer of sexual assault that really keeps you on your toes at these things.