This is so isolating - I don’t have any mom friends anymore

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op, folks are being overly harsh. It sounds like you are being careful and the things you’ve asked folks to do are safe, distanced, outdoors.

Remember this is the same board that says they are letting kids play with friends and are asking questions about birthday parties and fire pit/wine nights. (So many responses to your post are dripping with hypocrisy if by the same crowd.) We all are in different places with risk though. That’s honest and something we all address in our own way. Your circle might have the means to isolate more readily.

It’s pretty lonely for us too. I get it. We haven’t seen friends since March. Our only is struggling as are my partner and I. Trying a distanced visit next week. Cautious.

Yeah, I'm also confused by the hypocrisy of this board. In another thread people are telling a poster to hire a housekeeper and a nanny because the risk is so low, but here everyone is saying the OP has to completely isolate herself? I get that people need to weigh the risk, but the risk of a having a housekeeper probably isn't that far off from the risk of a having socially distanced picnic, outdoors with masks when not eating. I don't get people's need here to justify one and vilify the other.

Your confusion stems from your lack of reading comprehension. Read OP's post (watch out for tone this time). And then read the responses again. Focus on the last couple of pages-several posters explain why OP is getting the negative reaction.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op, folks are being overly harsh. It sounds like you are being careful and the things you’ve asked folks to do are safe, distanced, outdoors.

Remember this is the same board that says they are letting kids play with friends and are asking questions about birthday parties and fire pit/wine nights. (So many responses to your post are dripping with hypocrisy if by the same crowd.) We all are in different places with risk though. That’s honest and something we all address in our own way. Your circle might have the means to isolate more readily.

It’s pretty lonely for us too. I get it. We haven’t seen friends since March. Our only is struggling as are my partner and I. Trying a distanced visit next week. Cautious.

Yeah, I'm also confused by the hypocrisy of this board. In another thread people are telling a poster to hire a housekeeper and a nanny because the risk is so low, but here everyone is saying the OP has to completely isolate herself? I get that people need to weigh the risk, but the risk of a having a housekeeper probably isn't that far off from the risk of a having socially distanced picnic, outdoors with masks when not eating. I don't get people's need here to justify one and vilify the other.

Your confusion stems from your lack of reading comprehension. Read OP's post (watch out for tone this time). And then read the responses again. Focus on the last couple of pages-several posters explain why OP is getting the negative reaction.

She’s not asking about having a moon bounce party. She’s asking to meet a friend in a park, with a mask on, or walk somewhere; not to have a cuddle pile. You’re manufacturing issues.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op, folks are being overly harsh. It sounds like you are being careful and the things you’ve asked folks to do are safe, distanced, outdoors.

Remember this is the same board that says they are letting kids play with friends and are asking questions about birthday parties and fire pit/wine nights. (So many responses to your post are dripping with hypocrisy if by the same crowd.) We all are in different places with risk though. That’s honest and something we all address in our own way. Your circle might have the means to isolate more readily.

It’s pretty lonely for us too. I get it. We haven’t seen friends since March. Our only is struggling as are my partner and I. Trying a distanced visit next week. Cautious.

Yeah, I'm also confused by the hypocrisy of this board. In another thread people are telling a poster to hire a housekeeper and a nanny because the risk is so low, but here everyone is saying the OP has to completely isolate herself? I get that people need to weigh the risk, but the risk of a having a housekeeper probably isn't that far off from the risk of a having socially distanced picnic, outdoors with masks when not eating. I don't get people's need here to justify one and vilify the other.

Your confusion stems from your lack of reading comprehension. Read OP's post (watch out for tone this time). And then read the responses again. Focus on the last couple of pages-several posters explain why OP is getting the negative reaction.

No, it's just knee jerk attack-the-OP and cranky posters who enjoy being anonymous jerks.

That's what this thread is.

[Anonymous]

Im the opposite! Freaked out and left in the dust by friends. Also isolating in the other end of the spectrum. My brother just got Covid out and about so it’s getting bad again.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'd avoid you like the plague. An attitude like this marks you as ignorant, selfish and not at all concerned with other people in society.

They can’t believe so many of my “friends” are content to stay holed up in their houses for the duration of the pandemic.

The PP might have been a bit harsh but I have to agree that there is something about the tone of your post, OP, that feels quite "off". I am guessing that you are not coming across to your friends as you think you are. Maybe use some of your down time to really be honest and look inward.

I’m frustrated. And lonely. And perhaps a bit jealous that others have husbands at home and doting local grandparents so they’re less reliant on friends to get through the long days and months.

At least you are better off than those of us who both work and have no childcare; I work during the day while DH watches the kids, the we works in evenings and weekends — so I basically never see him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The responses here seem extreme. Op is talking about outdoor activities like biking or a picnic. Everyone I know has been doing these things since about June, including my family. I meet up with friends weekly outdoors and we keep our distance.

I believe in science, I’m
Not a trumper, I think it is strange that OP can’t find any of her friends willing to do this.

Op-have you tried just meeting with a friend one on one, without kids? I find that’s easier since with the littles it can be hard to keep them away from each other and from sharing toys, etc.

She has THREE kids UNDER 5!!! How in the world do you SD bike with that? Or even play dates, she has to reliably coral 3 kids to follow SD; I suspect she isn’t great about that and assumes kids don’t transmit and outside is safe as can be.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You are incredulous that people are avoiding unnecessary risk in order to protect themselves from an illness that is disabling to many and has caused death to nearly a quarter of a million Americans. You literally cannot believe pope are prioritizing their lives over trick or Treating and play dates. That’s why people aren’t safe with you and they know it.

I didn’t see OP say anything about trick or treating.

From OP: “ We have a group text going and nobody is taking their kids trick or treating... or going to pumpkin patches this year.”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op I am shocked by the nasty responses. Nice to see everyone using this time to reflect on how they treat others..

All of my friends in DC are managing socially distanced play dates. Always outside and with masks. We keep it to a limited number of friends but have decided the small risk (yes, from the CDC) is worth what it does for our mental health.

I would suggest finding a not very busy playground and trying to find some new mom friends.

Yeah it’s this. Social circles are now down to core. We aren’t anyone’s core group either, so haven’t seen anyone. Just how it is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am sorry OP. This has brought out so much paranoia in people. Families of people not working from home are facing prejudice and discrimination as a result. I hope you are able to meet people at playgrounds and/or more open minded people in general.

My household includes an essential worker who works outside the home. We are not socializing. One, because we want to minimize out risks further for ourselves. But two, I would never expect my friends to want to expose themselves to whatever my husband is exposed to at work. I am super jealous and bitter that some people get to stay home and stay safe and work from home and others have to fear death and disease every day by going into work. But I get that it makes sense that people would not want to pop up or socialize with us. I’m ok with that. It sucks for us, but it is what it is. I don’t want to get anyone sick.

It’s your choice to support the paranoia, maybe you are trying to minimize hurt from when people avoid you for dumb reasons.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op I am shocked by the nasty responses. Nice to see everyone using this time to reflect on how they treat others..

All of my friends in DC are managing socially distanced play dates. Always outside and with masks. We keep it to a limited number of friends but have decided the small risk (yes, from the CDC) is worth what it does for our mental health.

I would suggest finding a not very busy playground and trying to find some new mom friends.

Yeah it’s this. Social circles are now down to core. We aren’t anyone’s core group either, so haven’t seen anyone. Just how it is.

We aren’t either. And live in an apartment. Even if we were to visit friends, no one will let us use the bathroom.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My husband and I also WOH, and we are also much more comfortable getting together with people on a socially distanced way. After all, we have months of personal evidence that social distancing has been effective.

My sister and her husband both WAH. They have an au pair that they don’t allow to leave the house either. They get everything delivered. I think that they have it built up in their minds that if they leave the house, there is a very high probability that they will die.

Whatever studies you read, it’s hard to trump personal experience. My personal experience is that you can leave the house safely, and that is my belief. She, like your friends, has not had that experience and has a different belief.

Ding ding ding! You hit the nail on the head!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There is no tone.

Stop.

You and OP would make good friends. Send her your e-mail.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The responses here seem extreme. Op is talking about outdoor activities like biking or a picnic. Everyone I know has been doing these things since about June, including my family. I meet up with friends weekly outdoors and we keep our distance.

I believe in science, I’m
Not a trumper, I think it is strange that OP can’t find any of her friends willing to do this.

Op-have you tried just meeting with a friend one on one, without kids? I find that’s easier since with the littles it can be hard to keep them away from each other and from sharing toys, etc.

She has THREE kids UNDER 5!!! How in the world do you SD bike with that? Or even play dates, she has to reliably coral 3 kids to follow SD; I suspect she isn’t great about that and assumes kids don’t transmit and outside is safe as can be.

I thought OP was looking to have mom friends. She can go biking safely with another adult.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'd avoid you like the plague. An attitude like this marks you as ignorant, selfish and not at all concerned with other people in society.

They can’t believe so many of my “friends” are content to stay holed up in their houses for the duration of the pandemic.

The PP might have been a bit harsh but I have to agree that there is something about the tone of your post, OP, that feels quite "off". I am guessing that you are not coming across to your friends as you think you are. Maybe use some of your down time to really be honest and look inward.

I’m frustrated. And lonely. And perhaps a bit jealous that others have husbands at home and doting local grandparents so they’re less reliant on friends to get through the long days and months.

I’m sorry OP. I’m in a similar boat except I’m WFH with a DH who is a physician going to work most days. I do feel like people are avoiding us but it’s hard because no one comes out and says it, they just make excuses for why they can’t see us outside in masks. Or they just don’t respond which is so annoying. The ironic thing is that my DH screens patients like crazy and does not see any Covid patients and anyone going out to a store is more at risk than he is. But people just assume as always.
No advice, just commiserating.

[Anonymous]

OP, we only let DC have play dates with ONE child. ONE. I think your issues are:

1. your friends are taking this seriously.
2. Your DH WOH.
3. You have three kids.

So when your friends choose their ONE family to bubble with, it won’t be you. It just won’t. It’s not personal. They are trying to keep their family safe AND sane. When their kids need socialization, they will chose the safest family, so they can wear masks, but ignore 6’. They cannot do that with you. I am sure your friends like you, because they included you on their group text. But they will always, always, always put their kids’ health first.