Not having a second / vacation home makes me feel poor & depressed. Anyone else?

[Anonymous]

Yeah, i'm not jealous at all. We just rent a place for 2-3 months every summer in a different location. Two years ago, Southern France. Last year, alpine Germany. This year, WV. (Original plan was Spain, but meh).

We've been usually spending 3-4k/mo on the vacation rental; since we're not too picky. Which is less than the mortgage on our DC house, but without the maintenance, taxes, repairs, etc. Not sure I'd ever buy a vacation house unless I had billionaire money.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Naaa I don’t feel poor at all. While my coworkers are enjoying their shitty beach homes, I am enjoying my yearly vacations overseas, sometimes several times a year.

Lots of people have beach homes and travel on vacation overseas more than once a year.

Define lots. How many people exactly lol

[Anonymous]

We had a small beach house we sort of inherited from my parents. We paid the upkeep and taxes and stuff on it. We redid it, inexpensively. It kept flooding. Like every year. Climate change. I was eventually so glad to sell it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yesterday, I washed windows and today I am trimming 60 shrubs on my property while my DH does other projects. And this is on my primary home. I have zero interest in maintaining a 2nd house. If you want to live at the beach, move.

I feel the same way. We've rented our favorite cabin for three separate trips this summer and that is good enough for me.

Renting gets old and requires too much planning, so it doesn't measure up to the casual comfort of owning when you come and go whenever you want. You and kids can't establish roots and friendships; nearby owners disregard you. And of course renting is just flushing money... to the actual owners.

Honestly, no. It's really not that hard. My kids make friends where ever we go. I don't really care if nearby owners disregard me. So what? I'm perfectly fine being friendly with the ones who don't, and with the other... gasp... RENTERS!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Naaa I don’t feel poor at all. While my coworkers are enjoying their shitty beach homes, I am enjoying my yearly vacations overseas, sometimes several times a year.

You don't need to disparage the homes as "shitty" in order to enjoy your vacations. There are many gorgeous homes out there. I wouldn't want to own one unless I had $10M+ in the bank, but... that doesn't mean they're shitty.

[Anonymous]

I always wanted a second home. Growing up, my parents had a lake house 1.5 hours away. We went every weekend as kids and now my siblings who live close go with their families all the time.

We ended up finding a modestly priced waterfront house about an hour from DC. We go almost every weekend May-September, with a couple of full weeks thrown in during the summer. We have young kids so have no desire to travel internationally, or really anywhere that takes more than 2-3 hours to get to.

Renting is ok, but it's great to have a getaway that's exactly my style, has all our clothes, toiletries, bikes, toys, etc. and the kinds of beds and pillows we like. We pay someone to mow the lawn and otherwise there's very little maintenance required. It's a restful weekend escape for us and a fun change of scene for the kids. We're making great memories there.

[Anonymous]

Previous poster here. While we do have a second home, I feel "poor" anytime I compare myself to others--clothes, cars, country club memberships, private schools. The DMV will do that to you. But comparison is the thief of joy so don't do it.

[Anonymous]

It's not that people who own second homes are better off. Sometimes it's just different priorities, and there are trade offs in every scenario.

Our primary home is old and very small compared to everyone we know, but we own our second home outright and enjoy it with our small kids. If we bought the same kind of nice new house as our friends, we'd probably not have the money for the second home. The trade offs are obvious in our case. We spend more time in our primary home nowadays because DH can't work from home, so we can't just go away and stay at the second home all summer. I envy people with nice big homes, but we do have the option to go to our second home for changes of scenery from time to time. At the end of the day, it's about making your space work for you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Naaa I don’t feel poor at all. While my coworkers are enjoying their shitty beach homes, I am enjoying my yearly vacations overseas, sometimes several times a year.

You don't need to disparage the homes as "shitty" in order to enjoy your vacations. There are many gorgeous homes out there. I wouldn't want to own one unless I had $10M+ in the bank, but... that doesn't mean they're shitty.

+1

I would be thrilled if someone offered me their "shitty" beach house to use! You sound a little too jealous, first PP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I always wanted a second home. Growing up, my parents had a lake house 1.5 hours away. We went every weekend as kids and now my siblings who live close go with their families all the time.

We ended up finding a modestly priced waterfront house about an hour from DC. We go almost every weekend May-September, with a couple of full weeks thrown in during the summer. We have young kids so have no desire to travel internationally, or really anywhere that takes more than 2-3 hours to get to.

Renting is ok, but it's great to have a getaway that's exactly my style, has all our clothes, toiletries, bikes, toys, etc. and the kinds of beds and pillows we like. We pay someone to mow the lawn and otherwise there's very little maintenance required. It's a restful weekend escape for us and a fun change of scene for the kids. We're making great memories there.

+1

memories here are running from place to place - those aren't memories.

[Anonymous]

Daily. All summer, I have been watching trips to their house in Deep Creek or Delaware or some other river somewhere. We have nowhere to go. My family isn't OK with a rental and no one we know invites us along. This summer sucks. I miss when we could travel and go places ourselves.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Naaa I don’t feel poor at all. While my coworkers are enjoying their shitty beach homes, I am enjoying my yearly vacations overseas, sometimes several times a year.

You don't need to disparage the homes as "shitty" in order to enjoy your vacations. There are many gorgeous homes out there. I wouldn't want to own one unless I had $10M+ in the bank, but... that doesn't mean they're shitty.

+1

I would be thrilled if someone offered me their "shitty" beach house to use! You sound a little too jealous, first PP.

+2. Watching my husband's college buddy and his family spend the pandemic at the family Hamptons house which is nicer than my actual house (via frequent social media posts). I, too, take my vacations overseas, but I sure would love to move to the Hamptons for a few months.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Daily. All summer, I have been watching trips to their house in Deep Creek or Delaware or some other river somewhere. We have nowhere to go. My family isn't OK with a rental and no one we know invites us along. This summer sucks. I miss when we could travel and go places ourselves.

Same. Our next door neighbors have a house on the water, a 2 hour drive away, and have been there for practically half of the summer. My kids have spent this summer in the backyard. What can you do.

[Anonymous]

For perspective, we are a family of 5 and do not even own a single home. We are in a 2 bedroom rented apartment. We have a roof over our heads, we eat all meals and snacks, we have air conditioning, and 6 months savings. We consider ourselves extremely blessed.

[Anonymous]

Especially on long holiday weekends.