What do you think of people that hire a ton of help

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We scrimp and sacrifice other things to afford help, and it is such a blessing. Our housekeeper comes 3 times a week. She does the dishes, the laundry, general pick up, vacuuming, and wipes the bathrooms. She even makes us meals twice a week. It is so nice to come home to a clean house and cooked meals, and to have leftovers for lunch. Our evenings are about relaxing and not housework.

This is what I would want. I love my kids. I would spend all day playing with them, doing crafts, taking them places, etc.... but the cleaning, laundry, and cooking gets backed-up and I am sick of spending my weekends catching up.

Me too. Hate cleaning. Love playing with the kids

Sorry but you’re not a child that gets to play all day. Adults should have responsibilities like having a paid job, or if not, then running the house along with taking care of kids. And unfortunately cooking and cleaning are part of that. I’m not against getting some help with the cleaning by hiring maids to come in once a week or twice a month or whatever but how can you expect to play all day like your 5 year old just because it’s more fun? You need to grow up a little.

You live your life. I will live mine.

[Anonymous]

Back to OPs question, what do I think of people that hire a ton of help:
I think lucky for them! Sometimes I am jealous, sometimes I am grateful for what we do have (while poor by the outrageous DCUM standards, we are kncredibly well-off compared to most in the US and the rest of the world).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We scrimp and sacrifice other things to afford help, and it is such a blessing. Our housekeeper comes 3 times a week. She does the dishes, the laundry, general pick up, vacuuming, and wipes the bathrooms. She even makes us meals twice a week. It is so nice to come home to a clean house and cooked meals, and to have leftovers for lunch. Our evenings are about relaxing and not housework.

This is what I would want. I love my kids. I would spend all day playing with them, doing crafts, taking them places, etc.... but the cleaning, laundry, and cooking gets backed-up and I am sick of spending my weekends catching up.

Me too. Hate cleaning. Love playing with the kids

Sorry but you’re not a child that gets to play all day. Adults should have responsibilities like having a paid job, or if not, then running the house along with taking care of kids. And unfortunately cooking and cleaning are part of that. I’m not against getting some help with the cleaning by hiring maids to come in once a week or twice a month or whatever but how can you expect to play all day like your 5 year old just because it’s more fun? You need to grow up a little.

Agree. Your kids don't need 24-hour-a-day enrichment. No one likes to clean. Some don't even like to cook. But if you are a SAHM, that's your job, kids and house. Otherwise, you are basically a kept woman and people will judge you. You say you don't care, good for you. OP asked, that's the answer. You're fortunate and lazy. It's judge-worthy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If it allows them to be better parents I think they are smart and I’m jealous (in a good for you way).

I’m a SAHM with three kids and a husband that makes just under seven figures. We have zero hired help other than occasional babysitters and no family near. I feel a lot of guilt if I need to resort to tv so I can go clean the toilets.

Huh? Your husband makes just under a million a year (7 figures) and you have no help?What am I missing?

You are missing nothing, I think it is bananas too. Not that I want a full staff, but a weekly house cleaner would be glorious. In fairness, he does his best to help me cleaning, but just isn’t home much to help.

So hire someone.

Seriously. Or go play your tiny violin somewhere else.

Might be one of these situations where the guy makes/controls money, and believes, because his wife "doesn't have a real job", she should be able to manage the home without any help.

Why do SAHMs need so much help? Seriously, if you don't work you can clean your own house and mind your own kids. Isn't that the point?

Actually, staying at home with young kids creates way more mess at home than sending them to daycare.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If it allows them to be better parents I think they are smart and I’m jealous (in a good for you way).

I’m a SAHM with three kids and a husband that makes just under seven figures. We have zero hired help other than occasional babysitters and no family near. I feel a lot of guilt if I need to resort to tv so I can go clean the toilets.

Huh? Your husband makes just under a million a year (7 figures) and you have no help?What am I missing?

You are missing nothing, I think it is bananas too. Not that I want a full staff, but a weekly house cleaner would be glorious. In fairness, he does his best to help me cleaning, but just isn’t home much to help.

So hire someone.

Seriously. Or go play your tiny violin somewhere else.

Might be one of these situations where the guy makes/controls money, and believes, because his wife "doesn't have a real job", she should be able to manage the home without any help.

Why do SAHMs need so much help? Seriously, if you don't work you can clean your own house and mind your own kids. Isn't that the point?

No. The point is to be there for the kids, not be a house maid.

And I’ll also say that standards these days and in our area of way higher than what many of us grew up worth. My house is way cleaner and nearer than DH’s parents’ house was, and I keep it that way by having cleaners a few times a month. I still do dishes and daily chores, it’s not like we SAHMs who hire help are all sitting back and watching the kids play while a housekeeper follows them around.

[Anonymous]

I think they are lucky that they can afford to do it.

We can afford to hire some help, but we usually prioritize other things, so I usually don't feel right spending the money we have on that when I could put it to so many other things.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We scrimp and sacrifice other things to afford help, and it is such a blessing. Our housekeeper comes 3 times a week. She does the dishes, the laundry, general pick up, vacuuming, and wipes the bathrooms. She even makes us meals twice a week. It is so nice to come home to a clean house and cooked meals, and to have leftovers for lunch. Our evenings are about relaxing and not housework.

This is what I would want. I love my kids. I would spend all day playing with them, doing crafts, taking them places, etc.... but the cleaning, laundry, and cooking gets backed-up and I am sick of spending my weekends catching up.

Me too. Hate cleaning. Love playing with the kids

Sorry but you’re not a child that gets to play all day. Adults should have responsibilities like having a paid job, or if not, then running the house along with taking care of kids. And unfortunately cooking and cleaning are part of that. I’m not against getting some help with the cleaning by hiring maids to come in once a week or twice a month or whatever but how can you expect to play all day like your 5 year old just because it’s more fun? You need to grow up a little.

Agree. Your kids don't need 24-hour-a-day enrichment. No one likes to clean. Some don't even like to cook. But if you are a SAHM, that's your job, kids and house. Otherwise, you are basically a kept woman and people will judge you. You say you don't care, good for you. OP asked, that's the answer. You're fortunate and lazy. It's judge-worthy.

The SAHM's job is whatever she and her husband decide it is and for many of us, it doesn't include cleaning. Try hiring a nanny and telling her that your children don't need constant enrichment and you'd rather she clean toilets. She will laugh and take a different job, because those ARE different jobs - childcare versus cleaning.

And please, some of the moms on this board judge SAHMs full stop, nothing to do with whether they clean or cook. Nothing stopping that judgment...and no one cares.

[Anonymous]

They have a ton of money and are lazy.

[Anonymous]

My mom genuinely thinks I’m a little lazy for outsourcing.

She thinks it’s ridiculous I use store-bought butter, because all you need is skimmed cream and a jar for shaking, and when I even consider discarding a pair of my 3 year olds pants due to a hole at the knee, she will snatch them from me and spend an hour adding the most meticulous little patch. She cannot understand waffle mix (it’s just flour and eggs!) and is always telling me how my siblings and I all had cloth diapers as kids that were held together with safety pins and washed by hand in the toilet.

I’m really not joking about my mom. She does everything herself. But, I don’t think that’s something to be envied.

Everyone in 2020 has “help”. Some have more than others. Get over it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We scrimp and sacrifice other things to afford help, and it is such a blessing. Our housekeeper comes 3 times a week. She does the dishes, the laundry, general pick up, vacuuming, and wipes the bathrooms. She even makes us meals twice a week. It is so nice to come home to a clean house and cooked meals, and to have leftovers for lunch. Our evenings are about relaxing and not housework.

This is what I would want. I love my kids. I would spend all day playing with them, doing crafts, taking them places, etc.... but the cleaning, laundry, and cooking gets backed-up and I am sick of spending my weekends catching up.

Me too. Hate cleaning. Love playing with the kids

Sorry but you’re not a child that gets to play all day. Adults should have responsibilities like having a paid job, or if not, then running the house along with taking care of kids. And unfortunately cooking and cleaning are part of that. I’m not against getting some help with the cleaning by hiring maids to come in once a week or twice a month or whatever but how can you expect to play all day like your 5 year old just because it’s more fun? You need to grow up a little.

Agree. Your kids don't need 24-hour-a-day enrichment. No one likes to clean. Some don't even like to cook. But if you are a SAHM, that's your job, kids and house. Otherwise, you are basically a kept woman and people will judge you. You say you don't care, good for you. OP asked, that's the answer. You're fortunate and lazy. It's judge-worthy.

The SAHM's job is whatever she and her husband decide it is and for many of us, it doesn't include cleaning. Try hiring a nanny and telling her that your children don't need constant enrichment and you'd rather she clean toilets. She will laugh and take a different job, because those ARE different jobs - childcare versus cleaning.

And please, some of the moms on this board judge SAHMs full stop, nothing to do with whether they clean or cook. Nothing stopping that judgment...and no one cares.

So I’m curious, do you not wash any dishes after you or your kids eat a meal or do you have a live in maid who does that? What if the kids spill something on the floor? Do you not sweep because your job doesn’t involve cleaning, just child enrichment?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We scrimp and sacrifice other things to afford help, and it is such a blessing. Our housekeeper comes 3 times a week. She does the dishes, the laundry, general pick up, vacuuming, and wipes the bathrooms. She even makes us meals twice a week. It is so nice to come home to a clean house and cooked meals, and to have leftovers for lunch. Our evenings are about relaxing and not housework.

This is what I would want. I love my kids. I would spend all day playing with them, doing crafts, taking them places, etc.... but the cleaning, laundry, and cooking gets backed-up and I am sick of spending my weekends catching up.

Me too. Hate cleaning. Love playing with the kids

Sorry but you’re not a child that gets to play all day. Adults should have responsibilities like having a paid job, or if not, then running the house along with taking care of kids. And unfortunately cooking and cleaning are part of that. I’m not against getting some help with the cleaning by hiring maids to come in once a week or twice a month or whatever but how can you expect to play all day like your 5 year old just because it’s more fun? You need to grow up a little.

Agree. Your kids don't need 24-hour-a-day enrichment. No one likes to clean. Some don't even like to cook. But if you are a SAHM, that's your job, kids and house. Otherwise, you are basically a kept woman and people will judge you. You say you don't care, good for you. OP asked, that's the answer. You're fortunate and lazy. It's judge-worthy.

The SAHM's job is whatever she and her husband decide it is and for many of us, it doesn't include cleaning. Try hiring a nanny and telling her that your children don't need constant enrichment and you'd rather she clean toilets. She will laugh and take a different job, because those ARE different jobs - childcare versus cleaning.

And please, some of the moms on this board judge SAHMs full stop, nothing to do with whether they clean or cook. Nothing stopping that judgment...and no one cares.

So I’m curious, do you not wash any dishes after you or your kids eat a meal or do you have a live in maid who does that? What if the kids spill something on the floor? Do you not sweep because your job doesn’t involve cleaning, just child enrichment?

Don’t be ridiculous. I have a housekeeper but she isn’t here 24-7. DH and I still vacuum Cheerios off the ground. If my toddler vomits in the middle of the night, I change the sheets. We load the dishwasher on weekends when she isn’t here. Even days that the housekeeper comes, she may do 2 loads of dishes. I often do another after she leaves and we eat dinner.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think no one parent should have to deal with multiple children on their own for more than a couple of hours. So if you’re alone with 2 kids, of course you hire a helper. Or if you and DH have 3 kids, of course you hire a helper.

Did it ever occur to some of you to just stop at one kid if you can't handle more than that without help. Serious question.

+1 If you are the kind of person that is too low energy for multiple kids, or too rigid, inflexible and/or anxious to handle more than one on your own, then do your kid a favor and keep him/her an only child!

PP here and I suppose I am, in fact, too “low energy” at the moment to handle my 1.5yo and 3.5yo alone for extended periods of time - mostly due to sleep deprivation. I mean, I could if I absolutely had to. But I don’t have to (grandparent help and hired help) so why should I? It won’t be forever.

OMG I had two kids that age once and I was fine. Some of you are such ninnys.

Eh, maybe you're "better" than me in that one respect. I'm probably "better" than you in many others. Oh, and richer too