Rush at UVA

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are the most popular sororities all white? That is depressing in this day and age. Blacks have their own sororities and fraternities? Seems like the process is encouraging segregation.

Blacks very much choose to have their own sororities. I think the whole Greek system is ridiculous, but you can’t pretend they aren’t huge proponents of their own sororities.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:One more time: if you stay in the process, you are guaranteed a spot in a sorority.

This is all computer run now.

The scenario where you won’t get a bid:
-you suicide (only list one house in the matching program as a preference when you were supposed to list more)
-you drop out

This is how it works TODAY. Your experiences 5, 10, or 20 years ago are not relevant, but I’m not sure some of you care that things have changed. Get over it.

why do you keep leaving out the scenario where a girl isn’t invited back to any houses on a certain day and is thereby dismissed?
It happens currently and often.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:What if you don't get invited to join any sorority? Then you'd feel like the biggest loser. Why are they so exclusive? So that they can feel superior?

Far more students go through rush than there are openings. And yes, if you go through to the end and get no bids, it is pretty awful. DD1 specifically chose a school with no Greek life, but that doesn’t seem to be DD2’s plan. Dreading it.

This is not true any longer. Any young woman who completes the recruitment process is guaranteed a spot. No one goes bidless. They may not get the bid they want, but every potential new member will be given a bid. (The only school where this is not true is Indiana. They are special snowflakes.)

+1 How many times has this been explained since the first page?

I think some people have baggage from their college days and can't let it go. Times have changed. If you can't get over parts of your college experience, talk to a professional to process it and don't burden your kids with this outdated information.

That may be the case at UVA, but it is not true at all schools. At my daughter’s college, they post the data after rush each year. Last year 7 girls didn’t get bids. The previous year, it was 17.

Can you read? I said "any young woman who COMPLETES the recruitment process." Potential new members are dropped for a variety of reasons, but to get dropped by every group, you have to have 1) bad grades or 2)bad morals or 3) a mean, mean personality. If you're not dumb or a total slut or a total bitch, you will be fine. Ordinary potential new members will get a bid.

You are really not making a great case for sororities here.

1. You have a “mean, mean personality” So does that mean you got dropped?

2. You’re wrong. Girls get dropped because they’re quiet, or because they’re not dressed “right” or because they don’t know the right people. You are naive to assume that every campus is just like the one you attended. There are plenty that have many more PNMs than available slots.

3. You don’t make any sense. How can a girl complete the process if she is dismissed from the process against her own wishes?
The sorority jargon makes everything sound fair and absolutely pleasant and it’s just not. It’s a dirty and judgmental process. There’s no way around it.

I’ve heard from many friends that were in sororities that there’s a lot of pre-selecting the girls they want ahead of time anyway. The girls study up on social media and lobby for or against prospects they know from high school or their debutante class or cotillion and they plan out who the targets are and line up their “best” girls to talk to those girls and so forth. Like very orchestrated.

Not sure if this makes it better or worse. I guess it’s less arbitrary. But also misleading to prospects and discriminates by socio economics etc

This is true. My daughter is going through sorority recruitment this week and she said that the membership director for one sorority is following over 100 freshman on Instagram. Not one else stands a chance, and they know it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:One more time: if you stay in the process, you are guaranteed a spot in a sorority.

This is all computer run now.

The scenario where you won’t get a bid:
-you suicide (only list one house in the matching program as a preference when you were supposed to list more)
-you drop out

This is how it works TODAY. Your experiences 5, 10, or 20 years ago are not relevant, but I’m not sure some of you care that things have changed. Get over it.

why do you keep leaving out the scenario where a girl isn’t invited back to any houses on a certain day and is thereby dismissed?
It happens currently and often.

The three most patronizing things sorority girls and alumni say to girls who are not picked during rush:

1. “Everyone gets a bid if you maximize your options”. It’s not like the girls who are dropped from a bunch of houses are assigned randomly the other houses. These girls who say this would actually never join or socialize with the houses to which these fortunate option maximizing rushers are invited. Especially not the ones that are an assembly of anyone who other houses passed over. Many times these are the houses that other girls don’t want or even struggling chapters that can’t fill and may not being around by graduation. .

2. “It all works out! You will end up in the house that’s right for you”. I think this just means the house where the girls are just as pretty and rich or athletic as you. And who is “just right” for the leftovers house described above?!?! They didn’t even pick each other.

3. “It’s ok if you didn’t get into a sorority because you can join a club”. Um ok so if it’s no big deal vs a club why are you still talking about your affiliation and lifelong sisters 50 years later. People ain’t talking about their student events or newspaper affiliation in their retirement homes lol. Also when do you see girls writing “yearbook committee” with a buncha hearts in their social media profiles or wearing yearbook committee hoodies and attending yearbook committee formals?

4. “Maybe Greek life is not for you”. Um... except what if it was but they were oversubscribed and didn’t have room for you. Or if it’s more like you weren’t right for Greek life.

Please ladies acknowledge that it sucks for girls that really wanted to enjoy the benefits and sisterhood of sorority life but instead to have to watch it for four years through the shop window! They’re 18 year olds who may have dreamed of a sisterhood of soul compatible philanthropy-minded women that apparently lasts a lifetime if you read grownup women’s Facebook posts.

We get that not everyone is pretty or popular enough to get into these clubs. But acknowledge reality and show some true empathy. Especially if you’re the type that has a rush coach or you’re the third generation of kappa kappa dus in your family and would transfer if you didn’t get a bid.

[Anonymous]

Whoops that was four .

[Anonymous]

Such a throwback for women to still seek this form or organization/affirmation. Can't wait until we evolve beyond it....as most schools have.

[Anonymous]

For many schools it’s the way social life is structured. Eg huge groups of girls and boys sit in a section at football and on the weekends have huge events with other Greek organizations. Then they go on spring break and stay in big houses together. They have sports competitions with other houses and do charity events. If you don’t get involved it can be hard to socialize on some campuses. Now if no one did it that’s one thing. But if all the social people do it at your school you feel like you have to join or won’t have a social life.

[Anonymous]

Yeah, I get that...which is why I was so happy that my child ruled out places where there was a heavy Greek presence on campus.

More and more places (at least in the Northeast) are banning them from campus or requiring all events to be open to all on campus.

If you read the scientific literature about Greek life on campuses...they can be really toxic and dangerous.

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/10485163
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/24527968
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/29447586

There are hundreds of such articles. This is not a stereotype...it is a problem.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yeah, I get that...which is why I was so happy that my child ruled out places where there was a heavy Greek presence on campus.

More and more places (at least in the Northeast) are banning them from campus or requiring all events to be open to all on campus.

If you read the scientific literature about Greek life on campuses...they can be really toxic and dangerous.

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/10485163
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/24527968
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/29447586

There are hundreds of such articles. This is not a stereotype...it is a problem.

Meh. I'm a libtard and my kids are more liberal than I am. I had two go to UVA, and they thought the guys there were total douchbags. But they both rushed and got into the same respected sorority and loved it. No harm done. To each her own.

[Anonymous]

This is why I went to a college which did not have a Greek ruled social scene as well.

[Anonymous]

I never went through rush but my DD did just this year. Even she said that it is wrong to put teenage girls through this process and she got into her preferred sorority.

I am happy for her because she had a rough HS experience being bullied by the 'popular' girls.

[Anonymous]

I am happy for her in the short run...but wonder why, after her experience with "mean girls" she would want to perpetuate such a system. Stockholm syndrome I guess.

[Anonymous]

They don’t consider themselves mean girls. They think they are simply looking for girls “like them” that they “click” with and don’t understand how that is toxic as noted above. I think some are probably actually mean with how they select and rank. But most are probs just trying to pick the girls that the cute frats would want to mix with. In effect the boys really dictate who gets in. That’s a whole other issue!!!

[Anonymous]

Parents against sororities just have their own baggage because they wouldn't have gotten an invite and don't think their kids will.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Parents against sororities just have their own baggage because they wouldn't have gotten an invite and don't think their kids will.

Plenty of people pledge sororities and end up dropping out because they realize how stupid they are once they’re on the other side. Plenty of people spend 4 years in a sorority and only later realize how stupid they are once they step out of their sheltered bubble.