It’s official. Your kids are out of control people.

[Anonymous]

Thank God I’m not friends with you people. So so uptight.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well, the teachers who tried to warn y’all were accused of not understanding boys and just generally hating kids. My consolation has been that I have the out of control child for 10 months and the parents have them for years!

I have boys. I believe that teachers do not understand boys. Go ahead and teach them how to behave -- just don't act like there is something wrong with them for needing to be taught it. Punishing is not the only way to teach.

So very, very true. They are labeled as bad or naughty or uncontrollable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have been a teacher for over 20 years and am raising a family of my own. I have noticed a shift. Some good, some great, mostly bad. Parents have outsourced so much of their parenting. So many children are being raised by nannies, aftercare, 10 hours of daycare from birth and it's just not the same as a consistent, loving family member invested in their future. The parents hang on every moment at soccer or gymnastics (the activities have never been better). This time should be used as productive time for the parents instead. That way, when the child is through, the distraction is over and the family can spend time. But, no, the parents micromanage the unimportant things. Then feel guilty ignoring them to do what could have been done while the kids were occupied.

Parents are terrified of tantrums and let the child be in charge. Children need boundaries and overindulgence is the worst thing for kids. I get so many calls from parents trying to plow a way for their kids that have nothing to do with what the kid wants or needs. (I think they should play varsity, no they have never played soccer before,). On the other hand, kids now have no concept of the biases of previous generations. So, as long as these kids as young adult can get out of their safe spaces, function without their parents, and leave the emotional support llama at home...society will be ok.

This is so well said...and right.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well, the teachers who tried to warn y’all were accused of not understanding boys and just generally hating kids. My consolation has been that I have the out of control child for 10 months and the parents have them for years!

I have boys. I believe that teachers do not understand boys. Go ahead and teach them how to behave -- just don't act like there is something wrong with them for needing to be taught it. Punishing is not the only way to teach.

So very, very true. They are labeled as bad or naughty or uncontrollable.

Why is it that boys are just generally more annoying to adults than girls? Obviously there are exceptions to this. I have a sister/daughters but no sons/brothers. I obviously married a lovely man, but don’t understand little boys at all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have been a teacher for over 20 years and am raising a family of my own. I have noticed a shift. Some good, some great, mostly bad. Parents have outsourced so much of their parenting. So many children are being raised by nannies, aftercare, 10 hours of daycare from birth and it's just not the same as a consistent, loving family member invested in their future. The parents hang on every moment at soccer or gymnastics (the activities have never been better). This time should be used as productive time for the parents instead. That way, when the child is through, the distraction is over and the family can spend time. But, no, the parents micromanage the unimportant things. Then feel guilty ignoring them to do what could have been done while the kids were occupied.

Parents are terrified of tantrums and let the child be in charge. Children need boundaries and overindulgence is the worst thing for kids. I get so many calls from parents trying to plow a way for their kids that have nothing to do with what the kid wants or needs. (I think they should play varsity, no they have never played soccer before,). On the other hand, kids now have no concept of the biases of previous generations. So, as long as these kids as young adult can get out of their safe spaces, function without their parents, and leave the emotional support llama at home...society will be ok.

This is so well said...and right.

Pp, what a rude post. Everyone can not afford for one parent to stay home these days. I will be happy to quit my job if you would like to match my salary, benefits etc. since you feel so strongly about it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well, the teachers who tried to warn y’all were accused of not understanding boys and just generally hating kids. My consolation has been that I have the out of control child for 10 months and the parents have them for years!

I have boys. I believe that teachers do not understand boys. Go ahead and teach them how to behave -- just don't act like there is something wrong with them for needing to be taught it. Punishing is not the only way to teach.

So very, very true. They are labeled as bad or naughty or uncontrollable.

Why is it that boys are just generally more annoying to adults than girls? Obviously there are exceptions to this. I have a sister/daughters but no sons/brothers. I obviously married a lovely man, but don’t understand little boys at all.

I have two sons. They are sweet, loving, and very energetic. I didn’t have much experience with boys prior to this, but they need love as much as girls do. I had experience with my siblings’ girls and I don’t think boys are that much harder. They aren’t really that hard to understand.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Thank God I’m not friends with you people. So so uptight.

Agree I would hate to be friends with you bc it would mean putting up with your bratty kids!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A few years back we were at my IL house for Thanksgiving. Two of our boys got in an argument that started turning physical (they were 5 and 8) we tried talking to them and it didn't work so we each picked up a boy and took them up to the room we were staying in. It took 45 mins for them to calm down and then sit before we could go back down and behave respectfully. This was hours before dinner and we did not hinder anyone else's plans by being MIA. When we got downstairs my MIL gave me a hard time because we made the boys "miss all of the fun". Then the patriarch of the family (older than MIL and usually very quiet) spoke up and said he was so proud of us for actually "parenting our boys". He then pointed out that MIL had used a wooden spoon on every single one of her kids. Since that is no longer allowed your son and DIL did what was needed to teach their boys a lesson.

It was so nice to have him stand up for us.

I have this happen OFTEN to me. I am effectively maintaining my child and enforcing rules/boundaries when my parents/inlaws/random older stranger will stop and say that the kid is just having fun and doesn't need to be disciplined. My mom and I had this argument yesterday. She thought we shouldn't discipline on holidays or with family. Nope. Discipline only works if your child knows you'll follow through regardless of where you are. I believe that the older generation (boomers) forget that they disciplined us. I completely agree that not spanking makes this very challenging as a parent. There are many kids that don't respond to anything other than a spanking (my DS, but we don't spank).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A few years back we were at my IL house for Thanksgiving. Two of our boys got in an argument that started turning physical (they were 5 and 8) we tried talking to them and it didn't work so we each picked up a boy and took them up to the room we were staying in. It took 45 mins for them to calm down and then sit before we could go back down and behave respectfully. This was hours before dinner and we did not hinder anyone else's plans by being MIA. When we got downstairs my MIL gave me a hard time because we made the boys "miss all of the fun". Then the patriarch of the family (older than MIL and usually very quiet) spoke up and said he was so proud of us for actually "parenting our boys". He then pointed out that MIL had used a wooden spoon on every single one of her kids. Since that is no longer allowed your son and DIL did what was needed to teach their boys a lesson.

It was so nice to have him stand up for us.

I have this happen OFTEN to me. I am effectively maintaining my child and enforcing rules/boundaries when my parents/inlaws/random older stranger will stop and say that the kid is just having fun and doesn't need to be disciplined. My mom and I had this argument yesterday. She thought we shouldn't discipline on holidays or with family. Nope. Discipline only works if your child knows you'll follow through regardless of where you are. I believe that the older generation (boomers) forget that they disciplined us. I completely agree that not spanking makes this very challenging as a parent. There are many kids that don't respond to anything other than a spanking (my DS, but we don't spank).

Sooo true. MIL gets very upset when her authoritarian son disciplines our DCs. MIL thinks he's too strict. She forgets she used to literally beat him with a stick or whatever she could get her hands on. His grandmother helped raise him and was the same way. And yet they're shocked when he yells or spanks or puts DC in the corner. MIL got all pouty yesterday when we put the kibosh on sweets all day and said no more of the store-bought cookies and candy supply she brought. This was after kids had plenty of the candy and cookies and as a result didn't eat their actual meal I spent all morning cooking. Pretty sure she never bought her son any cookies and candies period, let alone a massive supply for one day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A few years back we were at my IL house for Thanksgiving. Two of our boys got in an argument that started turning physical (they were 5 and 8) we tried talking to them and it didn't work so we each picked up a boy and took them up to the room we were staying in. It took 45 mins for them to calm down and then sit before we could go back down and behave respectfully. This was hours before dinner and we did not hinder anyone else's plans by being MIA. When we got downstairs my MIL gave me a hard time because we made the boys "miss all of the fun". Then the patriarch of the family (older than MIL and usually very quiet) spoke up and said he was so proud of us for actually "parenting our boys". He then pointed out that MIL had used a wooden spoon on every single one of her kids. Since that is no longer allowed your son and DIL did what was needed to teach their boys a lesson.

It was so nice to have him stand up for us.

I have this happen OFTEN to me. I am effectively maintaining my child and enforcing rules/boundaries when my parents/inlaws/random older stranger will stop and say that the kid is just having fun and doesn't need to be disciplined. My mom and I had this argument yesterday. She thought we shouldn't discipline on holidays or with family. Nope. Discipline only works if your child knows you'll follow through regardless of where you are. I believe that the older generation (boomers) forget that they disciplined us. I completely agree that not spanking makes this very challenging as a parent. There are many kids that don't respond to anything other than a spanking (my DS, but we don't spank).

Grandparenting is different. They are supposed to spoil! It’s not an excuse for you not to parent.

Sooo true. MIL gets very upset when her authoritarian son disciplines our DCs. MIL thinks he's too strict. She forgets she used to literally beat him with a stick or whatever she could get her hands on. His grandmother helped raise him and was the same way. And yet they're shocked when he yells or spanks or puts DC in the corner. MIL got all pouty yesterday when we put the kibosh on sweets all day and said no more of the store-bought cookies and candy supply she brought. This was after kids had plenty of the candy and cookies and as a result didn't eat their actual meal I spent all morning cooking. Pretty sure she never bought her son any cookies and candies period, let alone a massive supply for one day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have been a teacher for over 20 years and am raising a family of my own. I have noticed a shift. Some good, some great, mostly bad. Parents have outsourced so much of their parenting. So many children are being raised by nannies, aftercare, 10 hours of daycare from birth and it's just not the same as a consistent, loving family member invested in their future. The parents hang on every moment at soccer or gymnastics (the activities have never been better). This time should be used as productive time for the parents instead. That way, when the child is through, the distraction is over and the family can spend time. But, no, the parents micromanage the unimportant things. Then feel guilty ignoring them to do what could have been done while the kids were occupied.

Parents are terrified of tantrums and let the child be in charge. Children need boundaries and overindulgence is the worst thing for kids. I get so many calls from parents trying to plow a way for their kids that have nothing to do with what the kid wants or needs. (I think they should play varsity, no they have never played soccer before,). On the other hand, kids now have no concept of the biases of previous generations. So, as long as these kids as young adult can get out of their safe spaces, function without their parents, and leave the emotional support llama at home...society will be ok.

This is so well said...and right.

Pp, what a rude post. Everyone can not afford for one parent to stay home these days. I will be happy to quit my job if you would like to match my salary, benefits etc. since you feel so strongly about it.

Very few families actually need two income earners.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have been a teacher for over 20 years and am raising a family of my own. I have noticed a shift. Some good, some great, mostly bad. Parents have outsourced so much of their parenting. So many children are being raised by nannies, aftercare, 10 hours of daycare from birth and it's just not the same as a consistent, loving family member invested in their future. The parents hang on every moment at soccer or gymnastics (the activities have never been better). This time should be used as productive time for the parents instead. That way, when the child is through, the distraction is over and the family can spend time. But, no, the parents micromanage the unimportant things. Then feel guilty ignoring them to do what could have been done while the kids were occupied.

Parents are terrified of tantrums and let the child be in charge. Children need boundaries and overindulgence is the worst thing for kids. I get so many calls from parents trying to plow a way for their kids that have nothing to do with what the kid wants or needs. (I think they should play varsity, no they have never played soccer before,). On the other hand, kids now have no concept of the biases of previous generations. So, as long as these kids as young adult can get out of their safe spaces, function without their parents, and leave the emotional support llama at home...society will be ok.

This is so well said...and right.

Pp, what a rude post. Everyone can not afford for one parent to stay home these days. I will be happy to quit my job if you would like to match my salary, benefits etc. since you feel so strongly about it.

Very few families actually need two income earners.

None of your business how others choose to live.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have been a teacher for over 20 years and am raising a family of my own. I have noticed a shift. Some good, some great, mostly bad. Parents have outsourced so much of their parenting. So many children are being raised by nannies, aftercare, 10 hours of daycare from birth and it's just not the same as a consistent, loving family member invested in their future. The parents hang on every moment at soccer or gymnastics (the activities have never been better). This time should be used as productive time for the parents instead. That way, when the child is through, the distraction is over and the family can spend time. But, no, the parents micromanage the unimportant things. Then feel guilty ignoring them to do what could have been done while the kids were occupied.

Parents are terrified of tantrums and let the child be in charge. Children need boundaries and overindulgence is the worst thing for kids. I get so many calls from parents trying to plow a way for their kids that have nothing to do with what the kid wants or needs. (I think they should play varsity, no they have never played soccer before,). On the other hand, kids now have no concept of the biases of previous generations. So, as long as these kids as young adult can get out of their safe spaces, function without their parents, and leave the emotional support llama at home...society will be ok.

This is so well said...and right.

Pp, what a rude post. Everyone can not afford for one parent to stay home these days. I will be happy to quit my job if you would like to match my salary, benefits etc. since you feel so strongly about it.

Very few families actually need two income earners.

Have you tried to support four people on $80k in the DC Metro area?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Thank God I’m not friends with you people. So so uptight.

It's uptight because to expect children to be corrected when being physically or verbally inappropriate. This is how kids learn its not okay to hit, damage property, be rude, etc etc.

You are probably the parent of the kind of kids everyone else in the room is wishing would leave.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have been a teacher for over 20 years and am raising a family of my own. I have noticed a shift. Some good, some great, mostly bad. Parents have outsourced so much of their parenting. So many children are being raised by nannies, aftercare, 10 hours of daycare from birth and it's just not the same as a consistent, loving family member invested in their future. The parents hang on every moment at soccer or gymnastics (the activities have never been better). This time should be used as productive time for the parents instead. That way, when the child is through, the distraction is over and the family can spend time. But, no, the parents micromanage the unimportant things. Then feel guilty ignoring them to do what could have been done while the kids were occupied.

Parents are terrified of tantrums and let the child be in charge. Children need boundaries and overindulgence is the worst thing for kids. I get so many calls from parents trying to plow a way for their kids that have nothing to do with what the kid wants or needs. (I think they should play varsity, no they have never played soccer before,). On the other hand, kids now have no concept of the biases of previous generations. So, as long as these kids as young adult can get out of their safe spaces, function without their parents, and leave the emotional support llama at home...society will be ok.

This is so well said...and right.

Pp, what a rude post. Everyone can not afford for one parent to stay home these days. I will be happy to quit my job if you would like to match my salary, benefits etc. since you feel so strongly about it.

Very few families actually need two income earners.

Have you tried to support four people on $80k in the DC Metro area?

It’s completely possible.