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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]A few years back we were at my IL house for Thanksgiving.  Two of our boys got in an argument that started turning physical (they were 5 and 8) we tried talking to them and it didn't work so we each picked up a boy and took them up to the room we were staying in.  It took 45 mins for them to calm down and then sit before we could go back down and behave respectfully.  This was hours before dinner and we did not hinder anyone else's plans by being MIA.  When we got downstairs my MIL gave me a hard time because we made the boys "miss all of the fun". Then the patriarch of the family (older than MIL and usually very quiet) spoke up and said he was so proud of us for actually "parenting our boys". He then pointed out that MIL had used a wooden spoon on every single one of her kids.  Since that is no longer allowed your son and DIL did what was needed to teach their boys a lesson.

It was so nice to have him stand up for us.  [/quote]

I have this happen OFTEN to me. I am effectively maintaining my child and enforcing rules/boundaries when my parents/inlaws/random older stranger will stop and say that the kid is just having fun and doesn't need to be disciplined. My mom and I had this argument yesterday. She thought we shouldn't discipline on holidays or with family. Nope. Discipline only works if your child knows you'll follow through regardless of where you are. [b]I  believe that the older generation (boomers) forget that they disciplined us.[/b] I completely agree that not spanking makes this very challenging as a parent. There are many kids that don't respond to anything other than a spanking (my DS, but we don't spank). [/quote]

Grandparenting is different.   They are supposed to spoil! It’s not an excuse for you not to parent.

Sooo true. MIL gets very upset when her authoritarian son disciplines our DCs. MIL thinks he's too strict. She forgets she used to literally beat him with a stick or whatever she could get her hands on. His grandmother helped raise him and was the same way. And yet they're shocked when he yells or spanks or puts DC in the corner. MIL got all pouty yesterday when we put the kibosh on sweets all day and said no more of the store-bought cookies and candy supply she brought. This was after kids had plenty of the candy and cookies and as a result didn't eat their actual meal I spent all morning cooking. Pretty sure she never bought her son any cookies and candies period, let alone a massive supply for one day.[/quote][/quote]

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