First date sex

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:A healthy attitude is recognizing people aren't defined by when they choose to have sex. You are welcome to call women "easy," but understand I'll assume you have serious hang ups.

Like I said, you're free to ignore the realities of society or claim that they're not so. But they are. Whether you like it or not.

If you sleep with a man of the first date it colors his opinion of you in a certain way. More often than not, it won't be positive. Close your eyes and stomp your feet all you want.

There are plenty of people who that wouldn't be the case- namely, not assholes...
but keep buying into the judgmental crap and saying it is gospel

Let's just say that as a younger man many of my friends occasionally banged someone on the first date. Never once did I hear any of them talk about how much they respected them, nor did they pursue serious relationships with them. (Now on cue go ahead and tell me how my friends were all pigs, but they are in fact just regular guys who went on to have families and careers.)

Now, if a woman is just interested in a roll in the hay or casual fling, sure, why not? But if you're looking at someone as a potential long term mate, then don't screw him on night one. He WILL see you differently. I guarantee. it.

....or better yet, have loads of casual sex on a first date anf then make the "hubby to be" wait a good long time.

He'll feel wonderful about you.

Until he finds out about your, GASP, past behavior.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:No, they DONT. Not all, at the very very least. Most educated men who aren't misogynistic idiots with a madonna/whore complex would have zero issue with it

I'm sorry. You simply aren't grounded in reality.

No one says it's fair.

It's not a question of whether it's fair or not. It's a question of whether quality men would x someone out because they mutually had sex- and the answer is no.

I think you simply don't get it.

NP. No, I think you don't get that not everyone thinks like you. Many misogynistic men with a double standard certainly do feel this way. But many men who see themselves and women as fellow human beings with similar desires and feeling do NOT feel this way. And many of us women are telling you that we have met, slept with, and gone on to have relationships and marriages with such men. They do exist, in quantity, whether you choose to believe it or not.

This is completely and utterly false. A recent AskMen survey of thousands of guys showed that over 70% of men would view the woman negatively if her number were 10 (yes, TEN). Presumably they asked normalguys and didn's t ask for the opinions of just misogynists.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP you need to read "he's just not that into you".. Im sure you both had a good time on the first date but I really hope you don;t have high expectations. He would have stayed the night. Seirously, in the book, the author says a guy could be flying the space shuttle in the morning but he is staying the night if he is in to you. Fuck around as much as you want but when you are ready to get serious about dating stop with the first date sex. Men do like to chase. Yes I am a feminist but hell this is basic biology. And yes I am happily married and didn't have sex until the 7th date. He really showed me how much he was willing to put into it.

Until the serious guy finds out what a ho you used to be in the past but then again, the past is the past is the past is the past and doesn't matter.

[Anonymous]

Had sex with DW about an 2 hours into 1st date- that was 22 years ago & we're still going at it

[Anonymous]

Hasn't this issue been discussed endlessly on here. The reality is, men will generally look at a woman who sleeps with them on a first date a lot different than a woman will feel about a man doing that.

Here is the reason. Take an office - attractiveness is a bell shaped curve in many professional places with a couple of people who look like models, some frumpy, and the great majority in an average band where some people will think they are attractive and others not.

Now if a woman in the average band walks into an upscale bar tonight with the intention of getting laid, there is a 100% chance she will find someone to do this with. But for a man in that band, the odds are way lower.

Because life works that way, many men will always be skeptical about first date sex. Is that fair? I didn't draw the plan for society.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No, they DONT. Not all, at the very very least. Most educated men who aren't misogynistic idiots with a madonna/whore complex would have zero issue with it

I'm sorry. You simply aren't grounded in reality.

No one says it's fair.

It's not a question of whether it's fair or not. It's a question of whether quality men would x someone out because they mutually had sex- and the answer is no.

I think you simply don't get it.

NP. No, I think you don't get that not everyone thinks like you. Many misogynistic men with a double standard certainly do feel this way. But many men who see themselves and women as fellow human beings with similar desires and feeling do NOT feel this way. And many of us women are telling you that we have met, slept with, and gone on to have relationships and marriages with such men. They do exist, in quantity, whether you choose to believe it or not.

This is completely and utterly false. A recent AskMen survey of thousands of guys showed that over 70% of men would view the woman negatively if her number were 10 (yes, TEN). Presumably they asked normalguys and didn's t ask for the opinions of just misogynists.

I have dated very attractive men, husband was a model. Really good looking guys who are with good looking women are not as concerned about this number. Hot people fuck and it's going to be more than 10.

[Anonymous]

Why doesn't anyone care about OP's update?? She updated!

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Yay! Do you like him?

It's funny I think he likes me more... I am just going to see how it goes. Can't believe this thread generated so much talk. I wonder how old all the commenters are.

It sounds like they're 60-100 years old.

You do realize that anyone aged 45-60 lived during the most promiscuous time in history probably since the fall of the Roman Empire. We wrote the book one night stands. There was no AIDS or herpes. Just the pill and bad hairstyles. We did it all. And we're just telling you some hard truths. But carry on inventing the wheel.

I'm in my late forties, was single during the 80-90s, and was having lots of sex. Obviously, you don't know what you're talking about if you don't even know about the history of the AIDS epidemic. Our generation was all about the "Safe Sex". I digress. You do have a point, though. The younger generations always seem to think that they were the ones to invent sex.

I had my share of sex-on-the-first-date as well as hook-up scenarios. With the exception of a couple vacation flings that we knew were going nowhere, all of them called again. Several turned into loving relationships. I've been married to one of them for 12 years. Come to think of it, I never was one to play by silly Victorian rules. Never counted dates to determine how long I had to wait before having sex. If a man were to judge me negatively for having consensual sex with him, then I wouldn't want him to contact me again, and I certainly wouldn't want a relationship with someone who thought that way.

I don't expect everyone to agree with me. I guess that's why there's someone for everybody. Those of you who want to wait, can. Good for you. But don't preach like your way is the only way and the only experience worth having.

First, as a female, you could have sex when you were that age anytime you wanted with whomever you wanted, which is a scenario 90% of men can only dream of. Second, the guy who married you is sure happy he has a wife who probably slept with 25+ guys.

You're damn right he is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hasn't this issue been discussed endlessly on here. The reality is, men will generally look at a woman who sleeps with them on a first date a lot different than a woman will feel about a man doing that.

Here is the reason. Take an office - attractiveness is a bell shaped curve in many professional places with a couple of people who look like models, some frumpy, and the great majority in an average band where some people will think they are attractive and others not.

Now if a woman in the average band walks into an upscale bar tonight with the intention of getting laid, there is a 100% chance she will find someone to do this with. But for a man in that band, the odds are way lower.

Because life works that way, many men will always be skeptical about first date sex. Is that fair? I didn't draw the plan for society.

Here's the thing...a lot of women don't want insecure and judgmental men. WE don't want THEM. We don't pine for them.

[Anonymous]

I had sex with my guy on the first date. I was even bold about it. I grabbed his hand and told him what I wanted in no uncertain terms. He said it does make me different. There was no game playing or expecting him to read my mind. He knew I like sex and it's important to me, just like it's important to him. Years later, intimacy is still very important to us both.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Here's the thing...a lot of women don't want insecure and judgmental men. WE don't want THEM. We don't pine for them.

It depends on one's view of sex. To some, sex is an intimate act to be shared with someone you're "intimate" with. To others, it's simply a physical act, a means to get off with another attractive person.

The former person doesn't think that this sort of intimacy can develop in such a short span as a first date. The latter doesn't care, since it's "just sex."

So what we have here are simply two different views on what sex means, or means to them. Neither are wrong. It's not Prudes vs Sluts. It's just different strokes (heh) for different folks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No, they DONT. Not all, at the very very least. Most educated men who aren't misogynistic idiots with a madonna/whore complex would have zero issue with it

I'm sorry. You simply aren't grounded in reality.

No one says it's fair.

It's not a question of whether it's fair or not. It's a question of whether quality men would x someone out because they mutually had sex- and the answer is no.

I think you simply don't get it.

NP. No, I think you don't get that not everyone thinks like you. Many misogynistic men with a double standard certainly do feel this way. But many men who see themselves and women as fellow human beings with similar desires and feeling do NOT feel this way. And many of us women are telling you that we have met, slept with, and gone on to have relationships and marriages with such men. They do exist, in quantity, whether you choose to believe it or not.

This is completely and utterly false. A recent AskMen survey of thousands of guys showed that over 70% of men would view the woman negatively if her number were 10 (yes, TEN). Presumably they asked normalguys and didn's t ask for the opinions of just misogynists.

I have dated very attractive men, husband was a model. Really good looking guys who are with good looking women are not as concerned about this number. Hot people fuck and it's going to be more than 10.

lol you married a male model. Right. So you married a gay man.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No, they DONT. Not all, at the very very least. Most educated men who aren't misogynistic idiots with a madonna/whore complex would have zero issue with it

I'm sorry. You simply aren't grounded in reality.

No one says it's fair.

It's not a question of whether it's fair or not. It's a question of whether quality men would x someone out because they mutually had sex- and the answer is no.

I think you simply don't get it.

NP. No, I think you don't get that not everyone thinks like you. Many misogynistic men with a double standard certainly do feel this way. But many men who see themselves and women as fellow human beings with similar desires and feeling do NOT feel this way. And many of us women are telling you that we have met, slept with, and gone on to have relationships and marriages with such men. They do exist, in quantity, whether you choose to believe it or not.

This is completely and utterly false. A recent AskMen survey of thousands of guys showed that over 70% of men would view the woman negatively if her number were 10 (yes, TEN). Presumably they asked normalguys and didn's t ask for the opinions of just misogynists.

I have dated very attractive men, husband was a model. Really good looking guys who are with good looking women are not as concerned about this number. Hot people fuck and it's going to be more than 10.

lol you married a male model. Right. So you married a gay man.

Or at least one who hooks up with men occasionally.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have dated very attractive men, husband was a model. Really good looking guys who are with good looking women are not as concerned about this number. Hot people fuck and it's going to be more than 10.

Let me guess. Did he happen to specialize in "Before" pictures?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why doesn't anyone care about OP's update?? She updated!

The fact that he called back doesn't really prove anything. Calling back for more sex? Most definitely.