What's so bad about living in sin?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:All the reasons said in this thread before.

Also, I'm very happy that the financial and legal rights afforded to married couples exist, and I'm happy that those financial and legal rights do not apply to unmarried cohabiting couples.

Why? Because those financial and legal rights lend a sense of permanence to the living arrangement. It means that you are one unit, one household, one family. An unmarried couple rarely intends to be perceived as a family. Mostly the reason they're unmarried is because they always have one foot out the door, not because they have religious objections to marriage. (I hate that this OP makes marriage a religious issue - it's not).

I never made it a religious issue. My point is that it isn't up to you to define what a real family is. It isn't up to you to decide what the rules are.
Marriage means that you get some tax and legal benefits. It doesn't mean that your relationship is more important or permanent than someone else's.

Yeah...it does actually. Making financial and legal commitments to another person means your intertwining your life with theirs in a way that is very difficult and expensive to extricate yourself from. That's called commitment. That's called permanence, in fact. Nobody is arguing that some marriages are made for the wrong reasons or some marriages don't last but at the same time, nobody in their right mind is going to argue that your average LTR couple is more likely to define themselves as a family than your average married couple.

It's permanent until it isn't. My longterm boyfriend IS my family, whether you like it or not. It doesn't matter how you classify it.
Marriage is reversible. My partner and I are as committed to each other as you are to your husband/wife. You can't make these generalizations.

No. Your boyfriend is not family, no matter how you describe him. You can think he is anything, but that doesn't make him such.

That's ridiculous. So, if you raise a child who you are not legally (adoption, marriage, blood relative) tied to, they're not your family?

It's rather naive, and small-minded, to believe that the only people you can call family are those you have a legal or blood tie to.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:All the reasons said in this thread before.

Also, I'm very happy that the financial and legal rights afforded to married couples exist, and I'm happy that those financial and legal rights do not apply to unmarried cohabiting couples.

Why? Because those financial and legal rights lend a sense of permanence to the living arrangement. It means that you are one unit, one household, one family. An unmarried couple rarely intends to be perceived as a family. Mostly the reason they're unmarried is because they always have one foot out the door, not because they have religious objections to marriage. (I hate that this OP makes marriage a religious issue - it's not).

I never made it a religious issue. My point is that it isn't up to you to define what a real family is. It isn't up to you to decide what the rules are.
Marriage means that you get some tax and legal benefits. It doesn't mean that your relationship is more important or permanent than someone else's.

Yeah...it does actually. Making financial and legal commitments to another person means your intertwining your life with theirs in a way that is very difficult and expensive to extricate yourself from. That's called commitment. That's called permanence, in fact. Nobody is arguing that some marriages are made for the wrong reasons or some marriages don't last but at the same time, nobody in their right mind is going to argue that your average LTR couple is more likely to define themselves as a family than your average married couple.

It's permanent until it isn't. My longterm boyfriend IS my family, whether you like it or not. It doesn't matter how you classify it.
Marriage is reversible. My partner and I are as committed to each other as you are to your husband/wife. You can't make these generalizations.

So why are you not married?

Because:

1. I grew up with married parents who despised each other and refused to divorce.
2. Every single married couple I know have a) divorced or b) are completely miserable, lonely and unfulfilled.
3. My relationship works without marriage. It's perfect as it is. Why change anything?
We are happy, monogomous and committed. He is my family.

[Anonymous]

So how is a legal system supposed to determine who's your partner, other than through a marriage or domestic partner registration?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:All the reasons said in this thread before.

Also, I'm very happy that the financial and legal rights afforded to married couples exist, and I'm happy that those financial and legal rights do not apply to unmarried cohabiting couples.

Why? Because those financial and legal rights lend a sense of permanence to the living arrangement. It means that you are one unit, one household, one family. An unmarried couple rarely intends to be perceived as a family. Mostly the reason they're unmarried is because they always have one foot out the door, not because they have religious objections to marriage. (I hate that this OP makes marriage a religious issue - it's not).

I never made it a religious issue. My point is that it isn't up to you to define what a real family is. It isn't up to you to decide what the rules are.
Marriage means that you get some tax and legal benefits. It doesn't mean that your relationship is more important or permanent than someone else's.

Yeah...it does actually. Making financial and legal commitments to another person means your intertwining your life with theirs in a way that is very difficult and expensive to extricate yourself from. That's called commitment. That's called permanence, in fact. Nobody is arguing that some marriages are made for the wrong reasons or some marriages don't last but at the same time, nobody in their right mind is going to argue that your average LTR couple is more likely to define themselves as a family than your average married couple.

It's permanent until it isn't. My longterm boyfriend IS my family, whether you like it or not. It doesn't matter how you classify it.
Marriage is reversible. My partner and I are as committed to each other as you are to your husband/wife. You can't make these generalizations.

So why are you not married?

Because:

1. I grew up with married parents who despised each other and refused to divorce.
2. Every single married couple I know have a) divorced or b) are completely miserable, lonely and unfulfilled.
3. My relationship works without marriage. It's perfect as it is. Why change anything?
We are happy, monogomous and committed. He is my family.

And you have kids together? Do you have legal documents like those mentioned above for your protection and his?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

So why are you not married?

Because:

1. I grew up with married parents who despised each other and refused to divorce.
2. Every single married couple I know have a) divorced or b) are completely miserable, lonely and unfulfilled.
3. My relationship works without marriage. It's perfect as it is. Why change anything?
We are happy, monogomous and committed. He is my family.

So much of this. Except, they aren't divorced. They're afraid to get divorced because of all the judgmental assholes like the ones that have responded to this thread.

Instead, they're living life "for the kids", not really enjoying the relatively limited amount of time you have on this earth. They've resigned themselves to living a life that's tolerable, instead of enjoyable. Horrible.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:All the reasons said in this thread before.

Also, I'm very happy that the financial and legal rights afforded to married couples exist, and I'm happy that those financial and legal rights do not apply to unmarried cohabiting couples.

Why? Because those financial and legal rights lend a sense of permanence to the living arrangement. It means that you are one unit, one household, one family. An unmarried couple rarely intends to be perceived as a family. Mostly the reason they're unmarried is because they always have one foot out the door, not because they have religious objections to marriage. (I hate that this OP makes marriage a religious issue - it's not).

I never made it a religious issue. My point is that it isn't up to you to define what a real family is. It isn't up to you to decide what the rules are.
Marriage means that you get some tax and legal benefits. It doesn't mean that your relationship is more important or permanent than someone else's.

Yeah...it does actually. Making financial and legal commitments to another person means your intertwining your life with theirs in a way that is very difficult and expensive to extricate yourself from. That's called commitment. That's called permanence, in fact. Nobody is arguing that some marriages are made for the wrong reasons or some marriages don't last but at the same time, nobody in their right mind is going to argue that your average LTR couple is more likely to define themselves as a family than your average married couple.

It's permanent until it isn't. My longterm boyfriend IS my family, whether you like it or not. It doesn't matter how you classify it.
Marriage is reversible. My partner and I are as committed to each other as you are to your husband/wife. You can't make these generalizations.

So why are you not married?

Because:

1. I grew up with married parents who despised each other and refused to divorce.
2. Every single married couple I know have a) divorced or b) are completely miserable, lonely and unfulfilled.
3. My relationship works without marriage. It's perfect as it is. Why change anything?
We are happy, monogomous and committed. He is my family.

And you have kids together? Do you have legal documents like those mentioned above for your protection and his?

No kids. If we do decide to have children, we will have to draw up those legal papers.
For now, we are together because we want to be, not because we are contractually, financially and legally obligated to be.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So how is a legal system supposed to determine who's your partner, other than through a marriage or domestic partner registration?

Why does the legal system need to know who my partner is?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So how is a legal system supposed to determine who's your partner, other than through a marriage or domestic partner registration?

Why does the legal system need to know who my partner is?

So your partner can visit you in the hospital, make medical decisions on your behalf and be the executor of your will. And oh yeah, receive your assets when you die. You must be very young and have little money.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

1. I grew up with married parents who despised each other and refused to divorce.
2. Every single married couple I know have a) divorced or b) are completely miserable, lonely and unfulfilled.
3. My relationship works without marriage. It's perfect as it is. Why change anything?
We are happy, monogomous and committed. He is my family.

I was in the same situation. And I agree, marriage won't change a damn thing between two people. And if it does, then those people weren't right for each other to begin with.

When we split up, it was REAL easy compared to our friends who have been divorced.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So how is a legal system supposed to determine who's your partner, other than through a marriage or domestic partner registration?

Why does the legal system need to know who my partner is?

So your partner can visit you in the hospital, make medical decisions on your behalf and be the executor of your will. And oh yeah, receive your assets when you die. You must be very young and have little money.

This can be done without marriage. Proper agreements drafted, etc. You don't need marriage for your partner to do any of these things.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So how is a legal system supposed to determine who's your partner, other than through a marriage or domestic partner registration?

Why does the legal system need to know who my partner is?

So your partner can visit you in the hospital, make medical decisions on your behalf and be the executor of your will. And oh yeah, receive your assets when you die. You must be very young and have little money.

This can be done without marriage. Proper agreements drafted, etc. You don't need marriage for your partner to do any of these things.

It's much easier to be married. Why do you think homosexuals want the right to be married?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So how is a legal system supposed to determine who's your partner, other than through a marriage or domestic partner registration?

Why does the legal system need to know who my partner is?

So your partner can visit you in the hospital, make medical decisions on your behalf and be the executor of your will. And oh yeah, receive your assets when you die. You must be very young and have little money.

Wrong. I'm not young and I have plenty of money.. We each have a medical/healthcare/financial POA which allows both of us to make decisions should the other be unable to. That is the most legal I ever want our relationship to be.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

1. I grew up with married parents who despised each other and refused to divorce.
2. Every single married couple I know have a) divorced or b) are completely miserable, lonely and unfulfilled.
3. My relationship works without marriage. It's perfect as it is. Why change anything?
We are happy, monogomous and committed. He is my family.

I was in the same situation. And I agree, marriage won't change a damn thing between two people. And if it does, then those people weren't right for each other to begin with.

When we split up, it was REAL easy compared to our friends who have been divorced.

You must have no kids and few real assets. We have 4 million dollars and three teenagers. Married or not, there would be huge fights if we broke up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So how is a legal system supposed to determine who's your partner, other than through a marriage or domestic partner registration?

Why does the legal system need to know who my partner is?

So your partner can visit you in the hospital, make medical decisions on your behalf and be the executor of your will. And oh yeah, receive your assets when you die. You must be very young and have little money.

Wrong. I'm not young and I have plenty of money.. We each have a medical/healthcare/financial POA which allows both of us to make decisions should the other be unable to. That is the most legal I ever want our relationship to be.

Do you have a will leaving your assets to the other person.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So how is a legal system supposed to determine who's your partner, other than through a marriage or domestic partner registration?

Why does the legal system need to know who my partner is?

So your partner can visit you in the hospital, make medical decisions on your behalf and be the executor of your will. And oh yeah, receive your assets when you die. You must be very young and have little money.

This can be done without marriage. Proper agreements drafted, etc. You don't need marriage for your partner to do any of these things.

It's much easier to be married. Why do you think homosexuals want the right to be married?

Of course in the short run it is easier...but don't say it can't be done or that only married people have these options.

In the long run, divorce is a lot messier.