Moved to the burbs and I hate it

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree with you. When I lived in the District I thought people were generally very cool, but I love the burbs too and now read this stuff and wonder where all of these judgmental bitches came from? I am born and raised DC, live in Bethesda now and couldn't be happier. I am glad (or at least hope) that I don't know any of these haters!

I don't think of Bethesday, CC, Old Town, Rosemont living in the burbs. The burbs, in my opinion, are Rockville, Great Falls, Centreville, Springfield, Burke, Annandale, etc. Think strip malls and the like.

That is funny. Bethesda has so many strip malls.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
My husband and I lived in a tiny 800 square foot condo in Columbia Heights for 10 years and I absolutely loved it – loved the neighborhood, loved the walkability, loved the people, loved running into friends everywhere, loved the feel of tons of stuff happening right outside my front door. Place was tiny but cozy and I loved it.

Then we had a baby and ran out of room.

We looked for over a year with a very low budget, and 6 months ago in the Maryland burbs we found a decent-sized place in great condition, a mile from a metro. And I HATE IT. I hate not seeing anyone on the street, I hate being in a silent neighborhood surrounded by car-choked streets, I hate being in the freaking car ALL THE TIME, I hate spending time on the stupid lawn, I hate f’ing pressure to decorate for Christmas, I hate having nothing but old white people as neighbors.

Is it insane to try renting out this place and moving into a rental back in the city? It has only been six months, but I just despair about spending years of my life in this place.

Everything about your post screams complete immaturity. Why on earth did you buy a place in the suburbs in the first place if you really want to live in a hispter neighborhood and pretend to be 23 the rest of your life?

Your poor child.

This is dumb. Many people like the city. We live in the city. Our neighbors on both sides are in their 60s. I guess they want to be 23 too. It's just a different environment. The people are different and truly believe care about each other more. I love it. I have no desire to move. We lucked up and bought our house in 2010 when the market was still down.

What neighborhood is that? You should let the OP know so she doesn't have to see people in their 60s if she drags her DH and child back to the city.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree with you. When I lived in the District I thought people were generally very cool, but I love the burbs too and now read this stuff and wonder where all of these judgmental bitches came from? I am born and raised DC, live in Bethesda now and couldn't be happier. I am glad (or at least hope) that I don't know any of these haters!

I don't think of Bethesday, CC, Old Town, Rosemont living in the burbs. The burbs, in my opinion, are Rockville, Great Falls, Centreville, Springfield, Burke, Annandale, etc. Think strip malls and the like.

That is funny. Bethesda has so many strip malls.

We have family in Bethesda and they love it. I think it's awful, honestly. I can't put my finger on it, but Bethesda is missing something that could make it charming, warm, or welcoming. It's a scattered burb with an open door mall and a metro. Again, it's my opinion only.

[Anonymous]

Some people prefer the city. Just move back. Its not hard.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I honestly think there are some people who are so obsessed with bashing the suburbs that they sit in their apartments and make up threads to try and make city living sound more attractive. The OP doesn't sound like a real person to me, at least not one that I'd want to know.

And I honestly think there are suburban people who are working off a 1994 paradigm about the District of Columbia that's just not true anymore. They have outdated notions about what the city is like, what the schools are like, what the neighborhoods are like, etc. None of their notions are based on what are facts TODAY. The just can't get past their old ideas. If you asked them, for example, which neighborhood is conventionally "safer"- Glover Park or Petworth- they wouldn't be able to tell you, because they really don't know a thing about DC. They just know the city is not for them. If you say you like it, that you want to stay in the city, for some reason they can't accept it. They have to bring up all the tired old tropes about the bad old days.

If the city is so great why is there no traffic into the city at night. Wouldn't there be a rush hour to get to this great city from jobs. No, because most people don't want to live in the city, they are only forced to go there for work.

There are plenty of jobs In the burbs and the city has a very failing future.

I would love to live in a townhome in Georgetown but can't afford it. People move to suburbs because they want space and can't afford that space in the city. If they could many (not all) would stay.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I honestly think there are some people who are so obsessed with bashing the suburbs that they sit in their apartments and make up threads to try and make city living sound more attractive. The OP doesn't sound like a real person to me, at least not one that I'd want to know.

And I honestly think there are suburban people who are working off a 1994 paradigm about the District of Columbia that's just not true anymore. They have outdated notions about what the city is like, what the schools are like, what the neighborhoods are like, etc. None of their notions are based on what are facts TODAY. The just can't get past their old ideas. If you asked them, for example, which neighborhood is conventionally "safer"- Glover Park or Petworth- they wouldn't be able to tell you, because they really don't know a thing about DC. They just know the city is not for them. If you say you like it, that you want to stay in the city, for some reason they can't accept it. They have to bring up all the tired old tropes about the bad old days.

If the city is so great why is there no traffic into the city at night. Wouldn't there be a rush hour to get to this great city from jobs. No, because most people don't want to live in the city, they are only forced to go there for work.

There are plenty of jobs In the burbs and the city has a very failing future.

I would love to live in a townhome in Georgetown but can't afford it. People move to suburbs because they want space and can't afford that space in the city. If they could many (not all) would stay.

People move to suburbs for lots of reasons. People who want space and can't afford that amount of space are just some of them.

[Anonymous]

His whole thread is ridiculous. OP move back to the city. Suburb haters stay out if the burbs. City-feareres stay home. Most of the rest of us will continue our lives seamlessly floating between the two and being happy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

- Flowers my daughter planted chopped down from our garden
- Gun shots heard 2-3 weekends per month
- Mailing packages and furniture to work so they won't be stolen
- Neighbor tween threatening me with a brick in front of my toddler
- Six year olds playing in the street until 11pm on school nights
- Flash mob fights in the alley behind my house
- Stolen Xmas decorations and porch furniture
- Crappy local schools and nail-biting charter lotteries
- Rats, dog crap and litter everywhere

Okay seriously where did you live? This sucks but it's not the city, it's the neighborhood you picked. My experience:

- I know everyone on the block and we watch out for each other
- Eight bus lines and metro within a 20 minute walk.
- Corner stores where shopkeepers know my name.
- Son went to our sweet neighborhood elementary and now goes to a fabulous charter
- 3 parks to choose from, and doggie play-groups
- When I see dog crap and litter, I pick it up and toss it in the trash.
- Yes, I have packages mailed to work, and had a skeleton snagged on Halloween. Oh well.

Columbia Heights, OP's old neighborhood. It's not that big. We made it 19 years before moving across the line. Five years ago, I never would have put together this list. I was too immersed in my hip city lifestyle and a rapidly changing Columbia Heights (new metro, new Target, new coffee shops and restaurants on 11th Street). I also experienced the good parts you describe and I'd closed my eyes to the rest. Sometimes you get so used to things you don't even notice them anymore. My daughter opened my eyes when she started noticing the vomit on our park slide, the blood stains on our sidewalk from a neighbor who was stabbed, and the "Wanted" posters at our corner grocery. And of course, her beheaded flowers and missing Xmas presents. I do miss some parts of city life, but not all. Now I'll take the Santa decorations. And I don't drive nearly as much as I did in the city cruising for play dates.

I guess the point of my rambling is that city life isn't all glamorous, just like suburban life isn't all strip malls. There can be a time and place for both. And neither defines you, only reflects your choices and priorities at the time. OP, if you are miserable, go back. Now, or in a few years, or after your kids are grown. The city is just over the line. But in the meantime, try to remember why you made the choice you did and embrace that. Nothing is permanent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't think OP is a loser at all. My family wouldn't have been happy with her choice, either.

I don't know how to advise you, though, OP. Whether you should, at this point, move/sell/buy/rent out all depends on your financial bottom lines. You may find it's harder to get tenants for your suburban place, and they won't be willing to pay as much as you may need to rent a little something in a place you like better.

But kids + apartments = perfectly good. Works for a lot of us. The idea of families needing "SPACE, OMG!!" is very culturally defined, and OP should hear that plenty of us grew up in cities where urban apartment living is very normal.

+1
I grew up in Europe with 2 siblings in a ~1000 sqft apartment which was considered very large. My parents were the most modest and down to earth people ever - they would despise hipsters if they cared to learn who those were. It is totally possible to raise children in small (by American standards) apartments and preferring to do so doesn't make one immature or a irresponsible parent (what??).

It's not the lack of space that gives city parents - specifically, Washington, DC parents - the reputation for irresponsibility. It's the atrocious quality of schools. If DC schools were on par with neighboring suburban counties, no one would bat an eye on families with children living in apartments. It's hypocritical of you to pretend otherwise. Did your quaint European city had good schools or what?

Not all the schools are bad. There is no school in this area that I like better than my child's charter, and she will likely be there from 3 to 18.

Hah! We shall see.

[Anonymous]

We left DC, but only 1.5 miles to Clarendon. People are outside all day. It's a walking community--but suburban for the kids (a knock on the door--can u come out in play).

I'd say 90% of our neighbors are transplants from DC neighborhoods. It is very social , parents 30s-late 40s with tons of similar age kids.

We walked to the gym, whole foods, park, etc yesterday and all neighbors were out and social.

It totally depends on your neighborhood. I have friends in McLean and Vienna that have a very neighborly feel too.

For us--we go stir crazy in the house. We are out and about most of the day so I knew I couldn't handle a place where driving was required.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I honestly think there are some people who are so obsessed with bashing the suburbs that they sit in their apartments and make up threads to try and make city living sound more attractive. The OP doesn't sound like a real person to me, at least not one that I'd want to know.

And I honestly think there are suburban people who are working off a 1994 paradigm about the District of Columbia that's just not true anymore. They have outdated notions about what the city is like, what the schools are like, what the neighborhoods are like, etc. None of their notions are based on what are facts TODAY. The just can't get past their old ideas. If you asked them, for example, which neighborhood is conventionally "safer"- Glover Park or Petworth- they wouldn't be able to tell you, because they really don't know a thing about DC. They just know the city is not for them. If you say you like it, that you want to stay in the city, for some reason they can't accept it. They have to bring up all the tired old tropes about the bad old days.

If the city is so great why is there no traffic into the city at night. Wouldn't there be a rush hour to get to this great city from jobs. No, because most people don't want to live in the city, they are only forced to go there for work.

There are plenty of jobs In the burbs and the city has a very failing future.

I would love to live in a townhome in Georgetown but can't afford it. People move to suburbs because they want space and can't afford that space in the city. If they could many (not all) would stay.

And if they had good public schools all the way through HS! We could afford the space, but left Georgetown when we couldn't justify $1.365 million to put 3 kids thru K-12. We moved a mile for schools and were able to keep the town home in Georgetown (rent it out) with the $ we saved by choosing good public schools. It's more beneficial for us and kids and I can always move back.

[Anonymous]

8:08 also could've gone the Hyde-basis-SWW route for free, for example, and stayed in Georgetown. or Hyde-Latin-private. etc.

[Anonymous]

DC still has too much scum that needs to be cleaned up and kicked out. The mayors don't want to lose their voting base so it will take a while.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree with you. When I lived in the District I thought people were generally very cool, but I love the burbs too and now read this stuff and wonder where all of these judgmental bitches came from? I am born and raised DC, live in Bethesda now and couldn't be happier. I am glad (or at least hope) that I don't know any of these haters!

I don't think of Bethesday, CC, Old Town, Rosemont living in the burbs. The burbs, in my opinion, are Rockville, Great Falls, Centreville, Springfield, Burke, Annandale, etc. Think strip malls and the like.

That is funny. Bethesda has so many strip malls.

I agree. So weird. Those are definitely burbs. The others are more like exurbs.

[Anonymous]

I don't have to tell you things are bad in the non or gentrifying areas of DC. Everybody knows things are bad. It's a depression. Everybody's out of work anf most are on welfare. The dollar buys a nickel's worth; banks are going bust; shopkeepers keep a gun under the counter; punks are running wild in the street, and there's nobody anywhere who seems to know what to do, and there's no end to it.

We know the air is unfit to breathe and our food is unfit to eat. And we sit watching our TVs while some local newscaster tells us that today we had fifteen homicides and sixty-three violent crimes, as if that's the way it's supposed to be!

We all know things are bad -- worse than bad -- they're crazy.

It's like everything everywhere is going crazy, so we don't go out any more. We sit in the house, and slowly the world we're living in is getting smaller, and all we say is, "Please, at least leave us alone in our living rooms. Let me have my toaster and my TV and my steel-belted radials, and I won't say anything. Just leave us alone."

Well, I'm not going to leave you alone.

I want you to get mad!

I don't want you to protest. I don't want you to riot. I don't want you to write to your Congressman, because I wouldn't know what to tell you to write. I don't know what to do about the depression and the inflation and the Russians and the crime in the street.

All I know is that first, you've got to get mad.

You've gotta say, "I'm a human being, goddammit! My life has value!"

So, I want you to get up now. I want all of you to get up out of your chairs. I want you to get up right now and go to the window, open it, and stick your head out and yell,

"I'm as mad as hell, and I'm not going to take this anymore!!"