Letting your kids drink at home?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is a black and white issue for me. No gray area at all. I would never in a million years allow my kids to drink at home because it is illegal. And I don't condone illegal activities.

My kids know that I am fine with adults have a drink occasionally. They also know that if it were not illegal, I would be fine giving them a beer or a glass of wine. But it's against the law, so we don't do it.I have five kids. My oldest graduates from college next year. The others are teens. We have never had even one single issue related to drinking.

Actually it isn't illegal in most states, including Maryland and Virginia. Where do you live?

"Some parents believe that, to ensure their teens' safety, they should allow their children to drink at home with parental supervision so that they won't try to do it in a dangerous environment. Maryland recently enacted a law that will now fines such parents $1,000-$2,500. This applies to any adult over the age of 21 that is caught providing an underage drinker with alcohol. A repeat offense increases the fine to $5,000.Kurt Gregory Erickson, president of the Washington Regional Alcohol

From US Law .com

I would say that you are wrong that it is not illegal. It is also a huge liability should anything happen to any one of those kids on your watch.

Also that fine is per kid caught at your house drinking. You ave 20 kids, it could be a $20,000 fine. And it has been enforced.

You are wrong. It is legal to give your child a drink in your own house in Maryland, as in most states.
"The prohibition set forth in subsection (a) of this section does not apply if the person furnishing the alcoholic beverage and the individual to whom the alcoholic beverage is furnished:
(i) are members of the same immediate family, and the alcoholic beverage is furnished and consumed in a private residence or within the curtilage of the residence; or etc..."

http://mlis.state.md.us/asp/statutes_respond.asp?article=gcr§ion=10-114&Extension=HTML
http://mlis.state.md.us/asp/statutes_respond.asp?article=gcr§ion=10-117&Extension=HTML

You need to read the thread a little more carefully.This person is giving other people's kids liquor and providing a place for them to drink which is the illegal part and the part they will get fined as well as have a huge legal liability should anything happen to someone else's kid.

I think you need to read this thread a little more carefully. To make it easy for your I have highlighted the argument in bold. To make it even easier, since you seen to have some issues with reading comprehension, I will summarize:
1. The first poster said that she would never let her children drink in her own home because it was illegal.
2. I said that it wasn't illegal to let your children drink in your own home.
3. The first poster, or another one, said that I was wrong and that it was illegal.
4. I posted reference to the Md laws which specifically allow family members to serve under 21s alcohol in their own home.
5. You said I should read the thread more carefully.
6. (This post!) I point out that, sadly, it is in fact you have failed to read this carefully.

Hope this helps! Please let me know if you have any further difficulties.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like you don't volunteer to other parents the information that you let their kids drink and/or get high at your home. If asked, do you tell them?

"Hi, Dedicatedad. Your son invited my son to spend the night. I wanted to confirm that you'll be there? I assume there won't be any drinking?" What do you say?

Interesting that none of the alcohol-providing parents answered this question. You keep claiming that other parents are naive and putting their heads in the sand when it comes to kids drinking. What if I'm not one of those parents but am instead trying to monitor where my kid is and what he's doing.

So I'll ask again.... If I call you before my child comes to your house and specifically ask whether you will be present and whether there will be alcohol allowed (it wouldn't ever occur to me to ask about drugs!), would you tell me the truth? If not, then that means you KNOW that what you are doing is WRONG.

[Anonymous]

Don't know where this has gone since I've only read page 1, but...

I am the child of European parents raised in the US. I visited my (cool, if you must know) European relatives almost every summer growing up.

Generally, it was my experience that sometimes the teenage kids would be allowed to drink but it was with adults (not just among teenagers) and everyone was quite mature about it. No one ever drove home tipsy -- not that it matters, because folks didn't get drivers' licenses until 21, I think. Anyway, the drinking wasn't like an unsupervised teenage party in the basement.

Drugs? No way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Don't know where this has gone since I've only read page 1, but...

I am the child of European parents raised in the US. I visited my (cool, if you must know) European relatives almost every summer growing up.

Generally, it was my experience that sometimes the teenage kids would be allowed to drink but it was with adults (not just among teenagers) and everyone was quite mature about it. No one ever drove home tipsy -- not that it matters, because folks didn't get drivers' licenses until 21, I think. Anyway, the drinking wasn't like an unsupervised teenage party in the basement.

Drugs? No way.

Good information. Thanks for sharing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have been told that the party host parents commonly throw drunk kids out if it looks like the police are coming. the idiots supply booze and kids bring more. I suppose extra is sneaked in or some parents like the tools posting here don't care.

Do you honestly think that it is a productive conversation to be calling parents "tools"? Are there any calm rational adults on here? What is wrong with having an honest conversation about this issue? If you can't honestly talk about this then how are you honestly going to communicate with your child about anything? If you are against how the original poster is handling parenting around alcohol, wouldn't you rather be aware that it might be something you should discuss with your child's friends parents so they are aware of and can respect your rules and expectations? There are a lot of things I wouldn't want my child exposed to or rules that I don't agree with that other parents have but I respect their right to have an opinion. I just make sure that I communicate with the other parent what my expectations are and if they break that trust then I know I can't trust my child in their care. There is absolutely no justification for name calling or belittling. Even if you feel the other parent has disrespected your rules, hold yourself and your own behavior to a higher standard and don't return the disrespect. I was under the impression that that is what being "an adult" was all about.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My wife and I are the proud parents of 3 teenagers who get good grades and are generally good kids. We aren't naive, though, and we know that teens will be teens, which means experimenting with drugs and alcohol at some point. So, instead of trying to drive them into dangerous situations, we chose an alternative strategy: letting them and their friends from school drink and smoke marijuana/take LSD in a safe, controlled environment at our home. We live in a clean, spacious, safe house in NW D.C., and we haven't had any problems yet.

We mostly buy the alcohol for them, (that way they will not have to be put into the precarious position of traveling to seedy areas or be at risk of facing jail time), and they have responded very well to this. They have even taken to writing out lists of the items they would like and leaving them on the refrigerator, and everyone seems pretty pleased with this system. They get exactly what they want, and my wife and I are able to track the amount of booze they are consuming. We are always on hand to provide assistance, although we have found that our kids and their friends prefer a "hands-off" approach when they are trying to relax, and that's okay with us, to be honest. More time to ourselves, plus we don't have to worry about where they are at all hours of the night.

9:55-

This is the original post that started this thread. as you can plainly read, it states"letting them (meaning their kids) and their friends from school drink, smoke marijuana and do LSD. That is what i and many others are speaking towards. No one was arguing that a parent can't give their child a drink. We were discussing about a parent giving other kids alcohol and drugs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have been told that the party host parents commonly throw drunk kids out if it looks like the police are coming. the idiots supply booze and kids bring more. I suppose extra is sneaked in or some parents like the tools posting here don't care.

Do you honestly think that it is a productive conversation to be calling parents "tools"? Are there any calm rational adults on here? What is wrong with having an honest conversation about this issue? If you can't honestly talk about this then how are you honestly going to communicate with your child about anything? If you are against how the original poster is handling parenting around alcohol, wouldn't you rather be aware that it might be something you should discuss with your child's friends parents so they are aware of and can respect your rules and expectations? There are a lot of things I wouldn't want my child exposed to or rules that I don't agree with that other parents have but I respect their right to have an opinion. I just make sure that I communicate with the other parent what my expectations are and if they break that trust then I know I can't trust my child in their care. There is absolutely no justification for name calling or belittling. Even if you feel the other parent has disrespected your rules, hold yourself and your own behavior to a higher standard and don't return the disrespect. I was under the impression that that is what being "an adult" was all about.

I called them tools. that is calm and rational. Do you have teenagers in high school ? freshman? soph? junior? senior? The basic fact is most teenagers do not expect a stocked bar or cases or kegs all ready for a party or get together.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is the original poster: I only buy the booze, I don't purchase anything illegal. However, if they want to do that on their own, my wife and I provide a safe environment where they won't be at risk of being arrested or even worse. Think twice before you judge, our system works. The kids are going to do it anyway, why not monitor it?

They may do it anyway but you can go to jail for giving alcohol to a minor. What the hell kind of parent are you? I do so hope you are a troll.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have been told that the party host parents commonly throw drunk kids out if it looks like the police are coming. the idiots supply booze and kids bring more. I suppose extra is sneaked in or some parents like the tools posting here don't care.

Do you honestly think that it is a productive conversation to be calling parents "tools"? Are there any calm rational adults on here? What is wrong with having an honest conversation about this issue? If you can't honestly talk about this then how are you honestly going to communicate with your child about anything? If you are against how the original poster is handling parenting around alcohol, wouldn't you rather be aware that it might be something you should discuss with your child's friends parents so they are aware of and can respect your rules and expectations? There are a lot of things I wouldn't want my child exposed to or rules that I don't agree with that other parents have but I respect their right to have an opinion. I just make sure that I communicate with the other parent what my expectations are and if they break that trust then I know I can't trust my child in their care. There is absolutely no justification for name calling or belittling. Even if you feel the other parent has disrespected your rules, hold yourself and your own behavior to a higher standard and don't return the disrespect. I was under the impression that that is what being "an adult" was all about.

I called them tools. that is calm and rational. Do you have teenagers in high school ? freshman? soph? junior? senior? The basic fact is most teenagers do not expect a stocked bar or cases or kegs all ready for a party or get together.

Tools? Really? How old are you. To make sweeping statements and judgements is very presumptive and seems to be shallow minded. I'd rather my kids have a beer under my supervision then act like you do as an adult. Those are perspectives and my values, I won't presume to understand yours.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is the original poster: I only buy the booze, I don't purchase anything illegal. However, if they want to do that on their own, my wife and I provide a safe environment where they won't be at risk of being arrested or even worse. Think twice before you judge, our system works. The kids are going to do it anyway, why not monitor it?

Who supplies the condoms for their orgies? If I were the parent of one of these kids, your ass would be in prison for a long time. You are obviously a teenager no matter your chronological age.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have been told that the party host parents commonly throw drunk kids out if it looks like the police are coming. the idiots supply booze and kids bring more. I suppose extra is sneaked in or some parents like the tools posting here don't care.

Do you honestly think that it is a productive conversation to be calling parents "tools"? ..............
I called them tools. that is calm and rational. Do you have teenagers in high school ? freshman? soph? junior? senior? The basic fact is most teenagers do not expect a stocked bar or cases or kegs all ready for a party or get together.

Tools? Really? How old are you. To make sweeping statements and judgements is very presumptive and seems to be shallow minded. I'd rather my kids have a beer under my supervision then act like you do as an adult. Those are perspectives and my values, I won't presume to understand yours.

Me again. I am in my fifties. If you think it is fine to supply alcohol to a party of teens you are in a distinct minority. Multiple cases of beer, hard liquor for shots, all will make your house quite the frat.

[Anonymous]

I am not naive and not a prude but why do people say "they are going to do it anyway." Why not hold them/believe in a higher moral character. If you don't start from "no" where do you go? I had a wonderful childhood as my two siblings and we were never interested in drugs or alcohol. Never saw drugs but did see alcohol and I just said no thanks. My parents were hands off and we had lots of freedom but somehow they communicated in a loving way that alocohol and drugs were not healthy for you and on the extreme could kill you. I know times have changed but I would no more just assume they are "going to do it anyway" and open the store! Talk with them, respect them, and let them know they really don't have to go down the drug/alcohol path. I am astounded that a parent would not consider this. And, yes, I do enjoy wine and the occasional margarita but I am an adult.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
LSD does not cause lasting brain damage. One of my high school friends took more LSD than the rest of us, and he went on to get a PhD in physics from Harvard and a career in a national lab.

You need to do your research on mind-altering substances and their effects. Kids know when parents don't know what they're talking about and will discount everything you say.

I suggest you do some research as well. From what we understand of LSD, we can't find a reason for lasting damage. But there is considerable evidence that "bad trips" do exist and can cause serious psychological complications (anxiety disorders, depression disorders, etc.). Have you ever been around someone having a bad trip? Because I have, and it is no small thing.

DH has a friend from HS who went on a "bad trip" and has NEVER been the same since. I can't recall what drug it was- think it was E.

[Anonymous]

I'm a teenager and my parents let me drink beer in the house. They have let me drink in general since sophomore year (I was 16) and just now are allowing me to have friends over to drink in the basement (I'm 18). They don't mind me smoking weed but don't condone it in the house and don't really actively condone it in general at all. They DO NOT allow me to drunk drive and would be very mad if they ever heard anything about that. I can't imagine they would approve of harder drugs such as coke or lsd, but they also don't have any reason to worry about it since there's no way I use that stuff anyway. With regard to having my friends over, they are wary of being the parents that "harbor" alcohol, so they generally only allow the friends of mine to come over that have parents who are as relaxed about it as they are. and they NEVER let anyone drive home.

I love the way my parents have raised me and I think it has all worked out all right. I NEVER drink and drive, not necessarily because I think it's dangerous, but because I want to respect my parents wishes. I'm not an alcoholic, nor will I ever be. I do well in school (2250 SAT and 3.71 gpa) and like to think that's partly because I was given the freedom I need to exceed. If I could recommend any style of parenting to other parents, it would be my parent's.... and that is a very high compliment coming from a child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm a teenager and my parents let me drink beer in the house. They have let me drink in general since sophomore year (I was 16) and just now are allowing me to have friends over to drink in the basement (I'm 18). They don't mind me smoking weed but don't condone it in the house and don't really actively condone it in general at all. They DO NOT allow me to drunk drive and would be very mad if they ever heard anything about that. I can't imagine they would approve of harder drugs such as coke or lsd, but they also don't have any reason to worry about it since there's no way I use that stuff anyway. With regard to having my friends over, they are wary of being the parents that "harbor" alcohol, so they generally only allow the friends of mine to come over that have parents who are as relaxed about it as they are. and they NEVER let anyone drive home.

I love the way my parents have raised me and I think it has all worked out all right. I NEVER drink and drive, not necessarily because I think it's dangerous, but because I want to respect my parents wishes. I'm not an alcoholic, nor will I ever be. I do well in school (2250 SAT and 3.71 gpa) and like to think that's partly because I was given the freedom I need to exceed. If I could recommend any style of parenting to other parents, it would be my parent's....

Anyone aware that some of the cool jocks [and wannabees] from ___are now into daily/weekly coke? relaxed parents and relatives who purchase/allow booze and do nothing when they see/smell pot?