Would you marry someone who's been divorced 3 times already???

[Anonymous]

No.

I also wouldn't marry someone twice widowed!

[Anonymous]

I've just broken up with a guy I met 9 months ago. We met on a dating site and from that first date decided to give it a go. He told me that he may relocate and we were both fine with it as time would tell if we were right for each other. He has been married and divorced 4 times. I was married for 30 years and got divorced 3 years ago.
Yes it was a red flag for me but he explained early on in our relationship how he met, married and divorced each wife, so I saw him as being quite naive and making bad choices. He was an only child and seemed to have had a sheltered background, I sort of gave him the benifit of the doubt.
I helped him move and settle in to his new office and home.
After about two months of him moving I decided to make it my turn to visit him as he used to come to my place and visit for business purposes as well. To my surprise he suddenly had issues with my two toy breed dogs that I planned to bring along. In fact a whole can of worms were opened, so I decided to cut it off as he seems to be a man that has huge issues. I think I dodged a bullet but learned a lot about myself in the process. I was prepared to compromise on a lot of his issues but not with my pets. My advise to anyone about to embark on a relationship with a man that has had so many failed marriages is please be careful. You're wasting your time and money.

[Anonymous]

[Anonymous]

I think this is a little unfair -- I know a guy that just falls for the wrong women. The first was understandable and the usual difficulties of marriage (and they actually got married twice trying to make it work), and the third marriage he just got taken by a crazy person who put on a really good act. Even so, he stuck with her through thick and thin until she finally took off to be with her boyfriend. As Rod Stewart said "Some guys have all the luck..."
So I'd try to find out more, including how long he was married to each, why the marriages broke up, and trust your instincts on what the real story is.

[Anonymous]

Antonio Banderas is back on the market. This will be divorce #2. I suspect that he will be snatched up by some D-lister and married in a year.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I've just broken up with a guy I met 9 months ago. We met on a dating site and from that first date decided to give it a go. He told me that he may relocate and we were both fine with it as time would tell if we were right for each other. He has been married and divorced 4 times. I was married for 30 years and got divorced 3 years ago.
Yes it was a red flag for me but he explained early on in our relationship how he met, married and divorced each wife, so I saw him as being quite naive and making bad choices. He was an only child and seemed to have had a sheltered background, I sort of gave him the benifit of the doubt.
I helped him move and settle in to his new office and home.
After about two months of him moving I decided to make it my turn to visit him as he used to come to my place and visit for business purposes as well. To my surprise he suddenly had issues with my two toy breed dogs that I planned to bring along. In fact a whole can of worms were opened, so I decided to cut it off as he seems to be a man that has huge issues. I think I dodged a bullet but learned a lot about myself in the process. I was prepared to compromise on a lot of his issues but not with my pets. My advise to anyone about to embark on a relationship with a man that has had so many failed marriages is please be careful. You're wasting your time and money.

Your lesson here is to never sponsor a man. A man who would accept your financial support after only a few months is not relationship material.

[Anonymous]

I'm in my early/mid-thirties, never married.

One divorce (provided it was at least 2-3 years ago, I don't want to be with anyone who is on the rebound, or hasn't worked out their issues/baggage surrounding their ex) is fine. Many of my friends are divorced once, and so I know that young marriages often don't work out, even with good people, and that some people do learn from their mistakes.

Two divorces there would have to be some extenuating circumstances. E.g. one very young marriage that failed quickly, a second where the spouse cheated or they got married drunk in Vegas or something).

Three divorces: Nope, nope nope. I'm not interested in dating anyone more than 10 years older than I am, and someone who has been divorced 3 times by their early 40s either does not put enough time into trying to work on a marriage, or has not spent a suitable amount alone reflecting on what's wrong with them/why they keep choosing unsuitable partners.

Either they are afraid to be alone, or are so sure that they are not the problem/unwilling to self-reflect that they refused to take the necessary amount of time between marriages to examine what went wrong, why it went wrong, what their role in it was, and what they would do differently in the future. Either way, not someone I'm willing to date.

[Anonymous]

Nope. I would never marry someone who has been divorced before. It just doesn't work like that for me. I might be one of the few people left, that believe in this, but for me marriage is til death do us part. Divorce is not an option for me. And if it happens, then that's it.

[Anonymous]

I have a cousin who's been divorced four times. He is on marriage number five and his current wife is 30 years younger than him. Frankly, it is ridiculous to me. I cannot see what she sees in him but they seem happy. Marriage number five is going on six years now.

Personally though, I'd never do it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think this is a little unfair -- I know a guy that just falls for the wrong women. The first was understandable and the usual difficulties of marriage (and they actually got married twice trying to make it work), and the third marriage he just got taken by a crazy person who put on a really good act. Even so, he stuck with her through thick and thin until she finally took off to be with her boyfriend. As Rod Stewart said "Some guys have all the luck..."
So I'd try to find out more, including how long he was married to each, why the marriages broke up, and trust your instincts on what the real story is.

Ridiculous. This guy is CHOOSING these women. He may seem like a nice guy, but he's not some victim here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Nope. I would never marry someone who has been divorced before. It just doesn't work like that for me. I might be one of the few people left, that believe in this, but for me marriage is til death do us part. Divorce is not an option for me. And if it happens, then that's it.

I'm the PP above your post, and I have to say, I'm just curious about your perspective. Not trying to talk you out of it - you may be in the minority as you say, but there are people who feel the way you do, and likely one of them will be a good fit for you. I'm just curious where your perspective came from.

I get where you say divorce isn't an option - as mentioned in my post, I've never married, and could have probably been a couple times - I'm in my 30s. I take marriage seriously. But in this day and age, you (obviously, because of the next sentence in your post) realize that it does not take two to divorce. Someone can leave you, and there's really nothing you can do about it.

So, in that case, if your spouse left you, you would just be alone forever? Because you considered the marriage failing as a flaw of yours? Even if they chose to leave/cheated/abused you, etc? Or, knowing yourself, do you just love so deeply that you know you'd never be able to get to a place where you'd want a relationship again, if a marriage failed? Or is it that you'd have relationships, but just never actually marry?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Nope. I would never marry someone who has been divorced before. It just doesn't work like that for me. I might be one of the few people left, that believe in this, but for me marriage is til death do us part. Divorce is not an option for me. And if it happens, then that's it.

I'm the PP above your post, and I have to say, I'm just curious about your perspective. Not trying to talk you out of it - you may be in the minority as you say, but there are people who feel the way you do, and likely one of them will be a good fit for you. I'm just curious where your perspective came from.

I get where you say divorce isn't an option - as mentioned in my post, I've never married, and could have probably been a couple times - I'm in my 30s. I take marriage seriously. But in this day and age, you (obviously, because of the next sentence in your post) realize that it does not take two to divorce. Someone can leave you, and there's really nothing you can do about it.

So, in that case, if your spouse left you, you would just be alone forever? Because you considered the marriage failing as a flaw of yours? Even if they chose to leave/cheated/abused you, etc? Or, knowing yourself, do you just love so deeply that you know you'd never be able to get to a place where you'd want a relationship again, if a marriage failed? Or is it that you'd have relationships, but just never actually marry?

I am talking from my current perspective. I can't say how I will feel in 20 years. But today, this is how I feel:

If my husband would ever leave me (or I end up leaving him if he cheats or is abusive), I don't think I would want to marry again. Just because marriage is a one off thing for me. I could maybe find a new partner after a while. I certainly wouldn't go out looking for one though, I never did that - not with my husband either. We just found each other without actually searching. One doesn't need to be married to be together, so I probably wouldn't go down that route again.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think this is a little unfair -- I know a guy that just falls for the wrong women. The first was understandable and the usual difficulties of marriage (and they actually got married twice trying to make it work), and the third marriage he just got taken by a crazy person who put on a really good act. Even so, he stuck with her through thick and thin until she finally took off to be with her boyfriend. As Rod Stewart said "Some guys have all the luck..."
So I'd try to find out more, including how long he was married to each, why the marriages broke up, and trust your instincts on what the real story is.

Ridiculous. This guy is CHOOSING these women. He may seem like a nice guy, but he's not some victim here.

I know a guy like this and he was actually pretty blunt/borderline rude with "nice" women. He liked fast women whose love he had to work for and he treated them like gold.

[Anonymous]

No no no no no no no no no

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Nope. I would never marry someone who has been divorced before. It just doesn't work like that for me. I might be one of the few people left, that believe in this, but for me marriage is til death do us part. Divorce is not an option for me. And if it happens, then that's it.

+1

Same here. Divorce is a big red flag to me and a character flaw IMO. I will never entertain a relationship with someone who has extra baggage.