If you are a SAHM or SAHD, how much money does your spouse make?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We lived in PG County (in Cheverly) and DH made about $80K when I started out as a SAHM, now it is closer to 100K.

Another Cheverly SAHM here. We make about $60K and have a couple rental properties. We're fine. Nice area, great house, good schools and we enjoy more freedom than our Bethesda friends. I wouldn't trade it. Cheverly is every bit as nice as Montgomery county, is closer to downtown and has a lower crime rate than Silver Spring does. Why pay more?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:On the topic of paying for your kids' college tuition, the only two options are not (1) pay nothing or (2) have a huge wad of cash saved to pay all costs of a private school education upfront. First of all, you can give your child options like either go to a public in-state school and we pay for all of it, or we'll give you the same amount toward a more expensive school and you pay/borrow the rest. Many kids also get some type of assistance, like academic or athletic scholarships. This also may require hard choices on the part of the kid (i.e., go to a lesser ranked school for a certain sport rather than the top choice in order to get a full ride). Not every kid has to go to an ivy league school to succeed. Parents can also borrow for their kids' education when the time comes, which might make sense if you know other debts/expenses will be lower by then. Perhaps some people know their mortgage will be paid off by the time their kids are in college, so they'll be able to allocate that amount to tuition. So, I guess I don't buy the insinuation that a family is making the wrong choice by having a stay at home parent if they can't aggressively save for college at the same time.

I wouldn't SAH if by doing so, I could save ANY for college. And who wants to borrow money for college when you're in your 50s even if your mortgage is paid off? When you do start putting that $22,000 away for your own retirement?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

expensive, top private school so you can imagine what my student loan debts are (still not payed off

i see your big fancy education didn't teach you how to spell PAID.

oooh soorrrryyy. . .and I bet you've NEVER misspelled ANYTHING, EVER

my fancy education was in fine arts anyway, and I have a learning disability ass hole.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My husband makes $130K and works for the feds. I work 10 hours a week and we rent out our basement, earning an additional $30K combined. We own in NW DC with one child. We have no savings, little retirement, no college fund, but plan to start contributing to all once DC enters public school. I may or may not return to work full-time in the future. Staying at home these past few years has changed me. I no longer have the patience for most desk jobs so will need to seriously reexamine my life and goals when the time comes. For now, being home with my DC these formative years has been worth feeling the pinch and insecurity of a life without savings or extras. We're happier than we've ever been and consider ourselves truly rich (though perhaps not wealthy).

Part of the reason you can do this is becasue your spouse works for the Feds -- truly the only job in the world that is guaranteed to still be there through any economic conditions. Makes having no savings not that big of a deal, although still fairly scary. What happens if you have a true unforeseen emergency (car breaks down, roof needs repair, you need to travel expensively at the last minute to visit a sick relative), etc.? These examples are all things that have happend to my family in the past few years. I guess you go into debt. Living that way would make me super tense all the time, but I get it that this doesn't bother some folks.

As for the not saving for retirement, this honestly blows my mind. I'm not sure how old you are, but you will never get back the time part of the equation in terms of saving for retirement. Saving early is such a huge factor in order to give your time money to grow.

Again, I guess this stuff is all personality-based. I agree that things will likely work out for most of the families that live a bit more on the financial edge. It's just higher risk and I have a personality that does not tolerate risk well. It sounds like you and your family are happy and that's really all that matters.

[Anonymous]

I think a major issue here (for the homeowners) is when they bought into the market. Those who purchased in the early 2000's, are likely to have much smaller mortgages and be able to live on substantially less than those who bought post-2005.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think a major issue here (for the homeowners) is when they bought into the market. Those who purchased in the early 2000's, are likely to have much smaller mortgages and be able to live on substantially less than those who bought post-2005.

True. I don't think we'd be able to buy anywhere on our HHI of $90,000

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Part of the reason you can do this is becasue your spouse works for the Feds -- truly the only job in the world that is guaranteed to still be there through any economic conditions. Makes having no savings not that big of a deal, although still fairly scary. What happens if you have a true unforeseen emergency (car breaks down, roof needs repair, you need to travel expensively at the last minute to visit a sick relative), etc.? These examples are all things that have happend to my family in the past few years. I guess you go into debt. Living that way would make me super tense all the time, but I get it that this doesn't bother some folks.

As for the not saving for retirement, this honestly blows my mind. I'm not sure how old you are, but you will never get back the time part of the equation in terms of saving for retirement. Saving early is such a huge factor in order to give your time money to grow.

Again, I guess this stuff is all personality-based. I agree that things will likely work out for most of the families that live a bit more on the financial edge. It's just higher risk and I have a personality that does not tolerate risk well. It sounds like you and your family are happy and that's really all that matters.

I'm not the PP you were responding to, but I can tell you the answer to some of your questions. When you don't have a lot of money, and something bad happens, what do you do?

In SOME cases, it's a true catastrophe, yes. But in other cases? You just deal. House needs repairs? You call around to find the cheapest repair you can, supervise them well and lern from them for next time. Learn to do some work yourself. Scrounge for supplies instead of paying full price. Make friends with some neighbors who have handyman skills and barter. You need to travel expensivley at the last minute to visit someone ill? Well, when you have less money, your perspective changes. You frankly DON'T travel last minute very often. When my FIL passed away very suddenly, only my husband flew to the funeral, not me with the toddlers and the infant. Car breaks down? Well first of all you take a lot of steps to keep that car in good working order but if it does break down and needs repairs? Again -- you do what you can yourself, rely on a big network of friends for help ( and of course you help them in return), live where you can walk to many locations, take public transportation; shop around for the cheapest repairs (even if they take longer and don't come with a fancy waiting room).

The bottom line is, you develop a resourcefulness that there are other ways to fix problems than spending money.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:for those of you who moved to PG county, and found areas with decent elementary schools, where are you living?

I am one of the PP's who's in PG. We live in Mt. Rainier and will be sending our kids to Mt. Rainier Elementary School. Many friends in the neighborhood with older kids report good things about the experience there.

I've heard good things about Mt. Rainer Elementary. Also Gladys Noon Spellman.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

I'm not the PP you were responding to, but I can tell you the answer to some of your questions. When you don't have a lot of money, and something bad happens, what do you do?

In SOME cases, it's a true catastrophe, yes. But in other cases? You just deal. House needs repairs? You call around to find the cheapest repair you can, supervise them well and lern from them for next time. Learn to do some work yourself. Scrounge for supplies instead of paying full price. Make friends with some neighbors who have handyman skills and barter. You need to travel expensivley at the last minute to visit someone ill? Well, when you have less money, your perspective changes. You frankly DON'T travel last minute very often. When my FIL passed away very suddenly, only my husband flew to the funeral, not me with the toddlers and the infant. Car breaks down? Well first of all you take a lot of steps to keep that car in good working order but if it does break down and needs repairs? Again -- you do what you can yourself, rely on a big network of friends for help ( and of course you help them in return), live where you can walk to many locations, take public transportation; shop around for the cheapest repairs (even if they take longer and don't come with a fancy waiting room).

The bottom line is, you develop a resourcefulness that there are other ways to fix problems than spending money.

I get what you're saying, but frankly this sounds very stressful and sad. Much sadder than having some help with childcare and then being able to afford emergencies and paying final respects/seeing a parent before they pass away.

Again, that's to me. I completely agree that to others, the stress and other things are worth it to SAH. But I am too anxious to be able to live like that, myself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:as the PP whose husband makes $55,000, I found your remark really rude. I enjoy life with my children, we eat good food, we take trips, and they get a great education. We save as much as we can for college and retirement, and sleep well at night. Are you implying that staying at home isn't "worth it", or that having a husband who doesn't make a ton of money isn't "worth it"? It's a bit confusing. We're very happy, my husband has a flexible job that gets him home by 5pm each night, which leaves us lots of time to spend as a family, and we have our kids near their grandparents (the reason we moved here). Your response sounded really snotty, self-righteous, and judgmental. Maybe you didn't mean it that way, but that's how it came across.

Anonymous wrote:We don't live lavishly, and I watch the pennies, but no freakin' way could I live like some of you. You all must be really young. I went to college and grad school, worked hard, but would like to enjoy the fruits of my education and life with my children while they are still young. That includes good food, trips, a nice home, and education. I couldn't sleep at night if I weren't saving for college and retirement. I hope you all find that it is worth it.

Not the PP, but I read this more in reference to eating eggshells and cooking watermelon rind.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Part of the reason you can do this is becasue your spouse works for the Feds -- truly the only job in the world that is guaranteed to still be there through any economic conditions. Makes having no savings not that big of a deal, although still fairly scary. What happens if you have a true unforeseen emergency (car breaks down, roof needs repair, you need to travel expensively at the last minute to visit a sick relative), etc.? These examples are all things that have happend to my family in the past few years. I guess you go into debt. Living that way would make me super tense all the time, but I get it that this doesn't bother some folks.

As for the not saving for retirement, this honestly blows my mind. I'm not sure how old you are, but you will never get back the time part of the equation in terms of saving for retirement. Saving early is such a huge factor in order to give your time money to grow.

Again, I guess this stuff is all personality-based. I agree that things will likely work out for most of the families that live a bit more on the financial edge. It's just higher risk and I have a personality that does not tolerate risk well. It sounds like you and your family are happy and that's really all that matters.

I'm not the PP you were responding to, but I can tell you the answer to some of your questions. When you don't have a lot of money, and something bad happens, what do you do?

In SOME cases, it's a true catastrophe, yes. But in other cases? You just deal. House needs repairs? You call around to find the cheapest repair you can, supervise them well and lern from them for next time. Learn to do some work yourself. Scrounge for supplies instead of paying full price. Make friends with some neighbors who have handyman skills and barter. You need to travel expensivley at the last minute to visit someone ill? Well, when you have less money, your perspective changes. You frankly DON'T travel last minute very often. When my FIL passed away very suddenly, only my husband flew to the funeral, not me with the toddlers and the infant. Car breaks down? Well first of all you take a lot of steps to keep that car in good working order but if it does break down and needs repairs? Again -- you do what you can yourself, rely on a big network of friends for help ( and of course you help them in return), live where you can walk to many locations, take public transportation; shop around for the cheapest repairs (even if they take longer and don't come with a fancy waiting room).

The bottom line is, you develop a resourcefulness that there are other ways to fix problems than spending money.

I get the implication. That I'm hopping on a plane when my sister has the sniffles, bringing my car to the Lexus dealer and sipping coffee in the waiting area, and stupidly calling the first roof repair guy that calls and writing him a blank check. But if I was only resourceful like you! Whatever. I own one old car (which is well maintained but does breakdown). I live near the metro and walk to my grocery store. I even have friends to rely on and help me out, including a wonderful friend who has managed to do some sort of repair to every toilet in my house for free. He doesn't do roofs though. Shit still happens and it still costs money no matter how resourceful you are. And I think it's great that you find ways to make ends meet no matter what happens, but I bet a lot of people also just put expenses on their credit card.

[Anonymous]

The bottom line is, you develop a resourcefulness that there are other ways to fix problems than spending money

Yes, sometimes there are, but sometimes there really aren't, and then you have to shell out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think a major issue here (for the homeowners) is when they bought into the market. Those who purchased in the early 2000's, are likely to have much smaller mortgages and be able to live on substantially less than those who bought post-2005.

Definitely true. I could probably SAH on DH's salary, but we're too young to have bought pre-2005. We're looking at buying now, and this takes SAH out of the picture. That's fine by me, but it still frustrates me when others who bought pre-boom make it sound like it's easy to live close-in in an old, small house on one small take-home. We're looking to live in an old, small house not so close in, and it's still going to take two salaries to do it (160K combined).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

I'm not the PP you were responding to, but I can tell you the answer to some of your questions. When you don't have a lot of money, and something bad happens, what do you do?

In SOME cases, it's a true catastrophe, yes. But in other cases? You just deal. House needs repairs? You call around to find the cheapest repair you can, supervise them well and lern from them for next time. Learn to do some work yourself. Scrounge for supplies instead of paying full price. Make friends with some neighbors who have handyman skills and barter. You need to travel expensivley at the last minute to visit someone ill? Well, when you have less money, your perspective changes. You frankly DON'T travel last minute very often. When my FIL passed away very suddenly, only my husband flew to the funeral, not me with the toddlers and the infant. Car breaks down? Well first of all you take a lot of steps to keep that car in good working order but if it does break down and needs repairs? Again -- you do what you can yourself, rely on a big network of friends for help ( and of course you help them in return), live where you can walk to many locations, take public transportation; shop around for the cheapest repairs (even if they take longer and don't come with a fancy waiting room).

The bottom line is, you develop a resourcefulness that there are other ways to fix problems than spending money.

I get what you're saying, but frankly this sounds very stressful and sad. Much sadder than having some help with childcare and then being able to afford emergencies and paying final respects/seeing a parent before they pass away.

Again, that's to me. I completely agree that to others, the stress and other things are worth it to SAH. But I am too anxious to be able to live like that, myself.

Well, that's totally understandable! There is a personality issue -- what you are comfortable with. I stayed at home for many years and this is exactly what my husband and I did -- for 8 years. It wasn't stressful or sad. And it was much easier on the environment -you CAN reduce, reuse, recycle a lot more, make things from scratch etc., when you aren't both working all day and doing the second shift at night.

But it did take time, and now that I am back at work, I find I am spendig a LOT more money because I just don't have the time any more to employ all those strategies. I do enjoy having the money to spend on classes and activities, and even new clothes, for my children.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think a major issue here (for the homeowners) is when they bought into the market. Those who purchased in the early 2000's, are likely to have much smaller mortgages and be able to live on substantially less than those who bought post-2005.

Definitely true. I could probably SAH on DH's salary, but we're too young to have bought pre-2005. We're looking at buying now, and this takes SAH out of the picture. That's fine by me, but it still frustrates me when others who bought pre-boom make it sound like it's easy to live close-in in an old, small house on one small take-home. We're looking to live in an old, small house not so close in, and it's still going to take two salaries to do it (160K combined).

Yep, same here.