Office fed parent - summer schedule hacks?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Use all day camps. That’s what many of us do (and yes, it’s a large expense). Or one of you can quit your job.

If you’re working, you should have your young kids in child care. And $18 is a steal per hour for a summer babysitter.

Stop being cheap and lazy.

Stop being a jerk. A lot of camps are 9:00-4:00. Some have aftercare but personally my kids hate staying that long.
The options are split up the drop off and pick up with your spouse or another family, take leave frequently, or get a summer sitter.

Yep, a lot of camps are 9-4. Some are 9-3. Those don’t work for our family because we need longer hours or available aftercare. So we found camps that have that.

Plenty of camps are longer, or offer aftercare options. If you need the extended care, you should look for them.

+1 What is OP doing for before/aftercare during the school year? Elementary school hours are basically 9-3 so this isn't a summer-specific problem.

[Anonymous]

Yes summer is a huge problem!! Last summer nearly killed me. Going from a hybrid job to full time in office with an hour commute. I never ever signed up for this -- I've had some telework since 2012 -- but it's what the job is now. I also blew through a lot of leave last summer. We live walking distance to school but not to camps, so more parent support (and time!) is needed. Some mornings last year I drove 2 hours before my day started because I had signed up for camps while working from home (different direction from my office), and then had to pivot. At least this summer I could plan but I'm holding my breath in anxiety. I'm planning to take tons of leave again. Taking it one year at a time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Use all day camps. That’s what many of us do (and yes, it’s a large expense). Or one of you can quit your job.

If you’re working, you should have your young kids in child care. And $18 is a steal per hour for a summer babysitter.

Stop being cheap and lazy.

Stop being a jerk. A lot of camps are 9:00-4:00. Some have aftercare but personally my kids hate staying that long.
The options are split up the drop off and pick up with your spouse or another family, take leave frequently, or get a summer sitter.

Yep, a lot of camps are 9-4. Some are 9-3. Those don’t work for our family because we need longer hours or available aftercare. So we found camps that have that.

Plenty of camps are longer, or offer aftercare options. If you need the extended care, you should look for them.

+1 What is OP doing for before/aftercare during the school year? Elementary school hours are basically 9-3 so this isn't a summer-specific problem.

Most kids just ride the school bus home, or else they are in a school-based after care. It's not unusual to have a problem with summer camp hours. Not insurmountable, as others have pointed out - but it's a really common issue that causes stress in a lot of families every summer.

OP was hoping there was some solution she just hasn't thought of, and there isn't one, and that sucks for a lot of families. Survivable, but sucks, and it's okay to just say that instead of pretending everything is awesome.

[Anonymous]

My spouse is the primary breadwinner and has a very inflexible schedule. So I reduced my hours and went part-time (still more than 50% though). It was that or quit, but it's still a lot to manage and I still dream of quitting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Use all day camps. That’s what many of us do (and yes, it’s a large expense). Or one of you can quit your job.

If you’re working, you should have your young kids in child care. And $18 is a steal per hour for a summer babysitter.

Stop being cheap and lazy.

Stop being a jerk. A lot of camps are 9:00-4:00. Some have aftercare but personally my kids hate staying that long.
The options are split up the drop off and pick up with your spouse or another family, take leave frequently, or get a summer sitter.

Yep, a lot of camps are 9-4. Some are 9-3. Those don’t work for our family because we need longer hours or available aftercare. So we found camps that have that.

Plenty of camps are longer, or offer aftercare options. If you need the extended care, you should look for them.

+1 What is OP doing for before/aftercare during the school year? Elementary school hours are basically 9-3 so this isn't a summer-specific problem.

Most kids just ride the school bus home, or else they are in a school-based after care. It's not unusual to have a problem with summer camp hours. Not insurmountable, as others have pointed out - but it's a really common issue that causes stress in a lot of families every summer.

OP was hoping there was some solution she just hasn't thought of, and there isn't one, and that sucks for a lot of families. Survivable, but sucks, and it's okay to just say that instead of pretending everything is awesome.

Agree with PP. OP, it sucks. There are a lot of mean-spiriting folks on here. Everyone has different situations.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Use all day camps. That’s what many of us do (and yes, it’s a large expense). Or one of you can quit your job.

If you’re working, you should have your young kids in child care. And $18 is a steal per hour for a summer babysitter.

Stop being cheap and lazy.

Stop being a jerk. A lot of camps are 9:00-4:00. Some have aftercare but personally my kids hate staying that long.
The options are split up the drop off and pick up with your spouse or another family, take leave frequently, or get a summer sitter.

Yep, a lot of camps are 9-4. Some are 9-3. Those don’t work for our family because we need longer hours or available aftercare. So we found camps that have that.

Plenty of camps are longer, or offer aftercare options. If you need the extended care, you should look for them.

+1 What is OP doing for before/aftercare during the school year? Elementary school hours are basically 9-3 so this isn't a summer-specific problem.

Most kids just ride the school bus home, or else they are in a school-based after care. It's not unusual to have a problem with summer camp hours. Not insurmountable, as others have pointed out - but it's a really common issue that causes stress in a lot of families every summer.

OP was hoping there was some solution she just hasn't thought of, and there isn't one, and that sucks for a lot of families. Survivable, but sucks, and it's okay to just say that instead of pretending everything is awesome.

Agree with PP. OP, it sucks. There are a lot of mean-spiriting folks on here. Everyone has different situations.

+2. I already said it, but there are fewer camps with before and after care, and camp aftercare usually isn’t that great, especially after a whole day of camp.

[Anonymous]

If your parents are reasonable and not bad enough to have caused (physical/emotional) trauma, why are they not spending a eeek with your parents and a week with his parents???

Parenting takes a village. It's not solo! If they have younger cousins, perhaps they can spend a week with Aunt/Uncle to cousin bond.

Sympathies to you and your family. This is a long result of people refusing to hold their governments accountable for paid parental leave and flexible schedules for everyone. The longer people refuse to stand in solidarity and demand the same benefits for all of society. The longer people in this country suffer.

Actions/Votes/Racism/
................./....//// ALL have consequences

[Anonymous]

You need to hire someone to either do mornings or afternoons for you if your spouse can’t help. College kid or nanny, and share with another family. Also use the holidays to take vacation and minimize leave.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If your parents are reasonable and not bad enough to have caused (physical/emotional) trauma, why are they not spending a eeek with your parents and a week with his parents???

Parenting takes a village. It's not solo! If they have younger cousins, perhaps they can spend a week with Aunt/Uncle to cousin bond.

Sympathies to you and your family. This is a long result of people refusing to hold their governments accountable for paid parental leave and flexible schedules for everyone. The longer people refuse to stand in solidarity and demand the same benefits for all of society. The longer people in this country suffer.

Actions/Votes/Racism/
................./....//// ALL have consequences

Oh you blessed person to have grandparents who can do that! I personally think that is the crux of the issue for this generation. I spent entire summers with my paternal grandparents or a few weeks of camp. My DH had camp and then spent a few weeks with his grandparents in another state. My mom- she still works and "wishes she could help". My Dad- is MIA and has never met my 19 month old daughter. My DHs Dad is in another state taking care of his mom who has dementia. My DHs Mom has early onset dementia, and we take care of her. DH is an only child. I have two siblings who are one) mentally unstable (has been institutionalized) and two) <25 on the west coast.

COMPLETELY different existence from our parents' lives.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If your parents are reasonable and not bad enough to have caused (physical/emotional) trauma, why are they not spending a eeek with your parents and a week with his parents???

Parenting takes a village. It's not solo! If they have younger cousins, perhaps they can spend a week with Aunt/Uncle to cousin bond.

Sympathies to you and your family. This is a long result of people refusing to hold their governments accountable for paid parental leave and flexible schedules for everyone. The longer people refuse to stand in solidarity and demand the same benefits for all of society. The longer people in this country suffer.

Actions/Votes/Racism/
................./....//// ALL have consequences

Really not the norm to have that kind of help. Many grandparents are still working their own jobs. Or are not healthy enough for childcare, and the parents are taking care of them in addition to their children! Or they simply arent willing or interested.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If your parents are reasonable and not bad enough to have caused (physical/emotional) trauma, why are they not spending a eeek with your parents and a week with his parents???

Parenting takes a village. It's not solo! If they have younger cousins, perhaps they can spend a week with Aunt/Uncle to cousin bond.

Sympathies to you and your family. This is a long result of people refusing to hold their governments accountable for paid parental leave and flexible schedules for everyone. The longer people refuse to stand in solidarity and demand the same benefits for all of society. The longer people in this country suffer.

Actions/Votes/Racism/
................./....//// ALL have consequences

Really not the norm to have that kind of help. Many grandparents are still working their own jobs. Or are not healthy enough for childcare, and the parents are taking care of them in addition to their children! Or they simply arent willing or interested.

Or caregiving for others!

My MIL is dead and my FIL is older and no longer physically capable of taking care of the kids. Also not interested.

My own parents are amazing and are willing to take our kids for a week this summer for the first time. But for most of the decade after their own retirements, they were taking care of their elderly parents (which involved a ton of travel), while alternating who was home with my disabled adult sibling. They have not had it easy. Unfortunately we also find it hard to "be the village" for them because they live in a 5000 person town where I can't find work.

I was just talking to a neighbor who's an immigrant who was saying she wished she could have more kids, and would in her country, but can't without her family to help. They are across an ocean. It's hard!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If your parents are reasonable and not bad enough to have caused (physical/emotional) trauma, why are they not spending a eeek with your parents and a week with his parents???

Parenting takes a village. It's not solo! If they have younger cousins, perhaps they can spend a week with Aunt/Uncle to cousin bond.

Sympathies to you and your family. This is a long result of people refusing to hold their governments accountable for paid parental leave and flexible schedules for everyone. The longer people refuse to stand in solidarity and demand the same benefits for all of society. The longer people in this country suffer.

Actions/Votes/Racism/
................./....//// ALL have consequences

Really not the norm to have that kind of help. Many grandparents are still working their own jobs. Or are not healthy enough for childcare, and the parents are taking care of them in addition to their children! Or they simply arent willing or interested.

Again, you are missing the crux of this argument. Demanding more of your government so that you don't have to cobble resources together benefits all of society. Long term care of aging adults, support for childcare and resources to allow people retire by 60 or 65 is reasonable. No one should have to work after age 60/65.... all of that is simply government and corporate greed. This country could spend less on its war-mongering and more on its people. Why aren't you demanding more of your government? Where are the letters to your Congressional person?

Why are you content to just grin & bare it?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A huge part of switching to federal service was the flexibility with compressed days and telework. Now I'm mandated 5 days a week and full time in office. Last summer was I took a lot of leave. Couldn't think of another way to handle camp and no school. Had some babysitters but with min wage $18 was not cheap for even a high schooler. There has to be a better way. We still have situational telework and maxiflex/credit hours. Spouse travels a lot for work and also in office. Please share! What type of fed schedule works? How to maximize the remaining flexibilities?

I will forever despise Trump for killing a functioning remote / partially remote workforce that allowed workers to have work/life balance. I am so thankful i was able to work partially or fully remote while I had young kids. We had a nanny (before any of you nosy MFers ask) but I could see them during the day, no commute, I could take them to dr. visits taking minimal leave. . . .
It was a perfect situation. Then- boom- 5 days RTO for no good reason. I said FU and retired.

But I will never forgive his cruelty and stupidity, or the people who cheered it. All miserable fuxxs making everyone else miserable too.

Sorry OP. It sucks and you have my sympathy.

Wow is watching your own kids really that horrible?

Watching my kids while I work? If I did that, then you'd be bit---ng that I need child care.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Back before Covid parents did this all the time… you either did all day camps (just like school with before/after care) or hired a summer sitter. We always had an after-school sitter we kept during the summers so when our kid went to a camp further away from home, DH and I took turns doing drop-off and the babysitter did pickup. So the one doing drop-off got to work late and stayed late.

So what? Things change and the flexibility was a welcome change. It was hard for you so everyone should have to do it?

There was no paid maternity leave when I was a fed but I don't begrudge those who get it now. that's how it should be.

[Anonymous]

Just bc some people can't telework, or have flexibility, or whatever . . . . so what? That means we all shouldn't have that? This isn't the misery olympics.

MAGA and POTUS want women to breed. In order to do that, this society needs to be more family friendly. Paid family leave and workplace flexibility are two of the lowest hanging fruit for that. And we were moving in that direction (which WAS benefitting alot of private sector jobs too). My agency had a robust and highly functioning tw and remote work program for 20 years before COVID. It worked. And it allowed employees and the agency to benefit from that. I was much more inclined to take an after work or late hour meeting, or work after my scheduled end, in exchange for the flexibility I received. This was true even under the first trump admihn.

Then comes trump 2.0 and their unveiled cruelty just for the sake of being so. F him. F anyone who supported that. He single-handedly rolled back family friendly policies for feds AND private sector. No sweat to me as my kids are older now. And I could retire when this jacka$$ slunk his way back into office with Stephen Goebbels. But don't act like this was a good thing.