Did you get parental help to buy any houses you own?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No, we did not get any help from our parents. Bought a 1.1 million dollar home and put $200,000. I’m proud of us!

Are you saying that you'd be less proud of your parents helped you? Why? What else should rich parents do with their money?

This---if your parents have the money, why wouldn't they help their kids? They cannot take the money with them. Gifting it to the kids/GK NOW has much more life impact than waiting until they are 80+ and dead

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No, we did not get any help from our parents. Bought a 1.1 million dollar home and put $200,000. I’m proud of us!

Are you saying that you'd be less proud of your parents helped you? Why? What else should rich parents do with their money?

This---if your parents have the money, why wouldn't they help their kids? They cannot take the money with them. Gifting it to the kids/GK NOW has much more life impact than waiting until they are 80+ and dead

What is there to be proud of yourself for? You can be happy with it but there’s nothing you personally did to achieve and be proud of yourself for. You were just born into money.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People are so weird about this.

I know people who will proudly say they didn't get any parental help to buy their home, when their downpayment was funded by a 100k inheritance from a grandparent. I mean, okay, not technically parental help but obviously they didn't save up the downpayment themselves.

I know other people who get super defensive about the help their parents gave them. Why? Like, don't brag about it, but you don't have to be defensive. It is what it is.

But conversely some people DO brag and I don't get that either. Good job having wealthy parents or grandparents? I mean -- grow up.

Some people either save their entire downpayment themselves, or simply do not buy a home because they can't put one together. I do think it's impressive when people are able to buy a home with no boost from family because it can be very hard to save a large sum of money like that when you are still young. Like saving 100k in your 50s might not seem like a big deal, but doing it in your 20s/early 30s, when you are still just starting out in life, can be incredibly hard. Those folks do deserve extra kudos. It's not a moral judgement, it's just like -- wow, good on you, that required some discipline and patience that someone whose parents cut them a check didn't need to have. It's like congratulating someone for running a marathon or becoming fluent in a foreign language. It's impressive. Give them their roses.

You had me until the very end. It's not just "very hard" for some people to save that kind of money in their 20s and 30s -- it's literally impossible no matter how much "discipline and patience" you have unless you have a high paying job. You can't get blood from a stone, so to speak. You have to make a choice on how to get that money in the first place, and generally speaking the higher paying jobs at that age require selling out to The Man.

When I see two kids in their 20s, both working hard but one making far more money than the other by selling out, I'm not any more impressed with the higher earner. That's all I'm saying.

This is so strange. How did the parents accumulate all the wealth without selling out to the man? What high paying work is acceptable to you? If a 20 something starts a tech company and makes big $$$s…is that not acceptable?

So your answer is to give your kids an allowance?

You realize how bad this sounds right?

So two kids graduate college. One knows they are going to be financially setup with help to buy their first home and will get an inheritance so they become a social worker. The other comes from a poor family and knows they want to own a home and have a family so they go into finance/accounting knowing they will get no help and it will set them up for security. One is a sell out to the man? Do you hear yourself? It’s so ugly. Your kids didn’t do anything special because they were born into a wealthier family. That you’re bragging about that and shaming others for working for money says a lot about your character.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People are so weird about this.

I know people who will proudly say they didn't get any parental help to buy their home, when their downpayment was funded by a 100k inheritance from a grandparent. I mean, okay, not technically parental help but obviously they didn't save up the downpayment themselves.

I know other people who get super defensive about the help their parents gave them. Why? Like, don't brag about it, but you don't have to be defensive. It is what it is.

But conversely some people DO brag and I don't get that either. Good job having wealthy parents or grandparents? I mean -- grow up.

Some people either save their entire downpayment themselves, or simply do not buy a home because they can't put one together. I do think it's impressive when people are able to buy a home with no boost from family because it can be very hard to save a large sum of money like that when you are still young. Like saving 100k in your 50s might not seem like a big deal, but doing it in your 20s/early 30s, when you are still just starting out in life, can be incredibly hard. Those folks do deserve extra kudos. It's not a moral judgement, it's just like -- wow, good on you, that required some discipline and patience that someone whose parents cut them a check didn't need to have. It's like congratulating someone for running a marathon or becoming fluent in a foreign language. It's impressive. Give them their roses.

You had me until the very end. It's not just "very hard" for some people to save that kind of money in their 20s and 30s -- it's literally impossible no matter how much "discipline and patience" you have unless you have a high paying job. You can't get blood from a stone, so to speak. You have to make a choice on how to get that money in the first place, and generally speaking the higher paying jobs at that age require selling out to The Man.

When I see two kids in their 20s, both working hard but one making far more money than the other by selling out, I'm not any more impressed with the higher earner. That's all I'm saying.

This is so strange. How did the parents accumulate all the wealth without selling out to the man? What high paying work is acceptable to you? If a 20 something starts a tech company and makes big $$$s…is that not acceptable?

So your answer is to give your kids an allowance?

You realize how bad this sounds right?

So two kids graduate college. One knows they are going to be financially setup with help to buy their first home and will get an inheritance so they become a social worker. The other comes from a poor family and knows they want to own a home and have a family so they go into finance/accounting knowing they will get no help and it will set them up for security. One is a sell out to the man? Do you hear yourself? It’s so ugly. Your kids didn’t do anything special because they were born into a wealthier family. That you’re bragging about that and shaming others for working for money says a lot about your character.

Except don’t kid yourself…the first kid isn’t a social worker….they work a series of nothing jobs or maybe they become a government drone which for some reason isn’t working for the man when it literally is the man…but because this is DCUM you have an inordinate share of government employees.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People are so weird about this.

I know people who will proudly say they didn't get any parental help to buy their home, when their downpayment was funded by a 100k inheritance from a grandparent. I mean, okay, not technically parental help but obviously they didn't save up the downpayment themselves.

I know other people who get super defensive about the help their parents gave them. Why? Like, don't brag about it, but you don't have to be defensive. It is what it is.

But conversely some people DO brag and I don't get that either. Good job having wealthy parents or grandparents? I mean -- grow up.

Some people either save their entire downpayment themselves, or simply do not buy a home because they can't put one together. I do think it's impressive when people are able to buy a home with no boost from family because it can be very hard to save a large sum of money like that when you are still young. Like saving 100k in your 50s might not seem like a big deal, but doing it in your 20s/early 30s, when you are still just starting out in life, can be incredibly hard. Those folks do deserve extra kudos. It's not a moral judgement, it's just like -- wow, good on you, that required some discipline and patience that someone whose parents cut them a check didn't need to have. It's like congratulating someone for running a marathon or becoming fluent in a foreign language. It's impressive. Give them their roses.

You had me until the very end. It's not just "very hard" for some people to save that kind of money in their 20s and 30s -- it's literally impossible no matter how much "discipline and patience" you have unless you have a high paying job. You can't get blood from a stone, so to speak. You have to make a choice on how to get that money in the first place, and generally speaking the higher paying jobs at that age require selling out to The Man.

When I see two kids in their 20s, both working hard but one making far more money than the other by selling out, I'm not any more impressed with the higher earner. That's all I'm saying.

This is so strange. How did the parents accumulate all the wealth without selling out to the man? What high paying work is acceptable to you? If a 20 something starts a tech company and makes big $$$s…is that not acceptable?

So your answer is to give your kids an allowance?

You realize how bad this sounds right?

So two kids graduate college. One knows they are going to be financially setup with help to buy their first home and will get an inheritance so they become a social worker. The other comes from a poor family and knows they want to own a home and have a family so they go into finance/accounting knowing they will get no help and it will set them up for security. One is a sell out to the man? Do you hear yourself? It’s so ugly. Your kids didn’t do anything special because they were born into a wealthier family. That you’re bragging about that and shaming others for working for money says a lot about your character.

Except don’t kid yourself…the first kid isn’t a social worker….they work a series of nothing jobs or maybe they become a government drone which for some reason isn’t working for the man when it literally is the man…but because this is DCUM you have an inordinate share of government employees.

Yes, I’m still waiting for her to share her childrens’ noble professions or her own, for that matter since she demanded to know what I do. That’s a new one, working for you know money to survive and support yourself is selling out to the Man. Only on DCUM.

[Anonymous]

Yes

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No, we did not get any help from our parents. Bought a 1.1 million dollar home and put $200,000. I’m proud of us!

Are you saying that you'd be less proud of your parents helped you? Why? What else should rich parents do with their money?

This---if your parents have the money, why wouldn't they help their kids? They cannot take the money with them. Gifting it to the kids/GK NOW has much more life impact than waiting until they are 80+ and dead

What is there to be proud of yourself for? You can be happy with it but there’s nothing you personally did to achieve and be proud of yourself for. You were just born into money.

You are overestimating this pride thing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In laws gave us a bridge loan so we could buy our new house before we sold our old one. We paid it back quickly after selling the old house. Not sure if this counts as "help," but it was very helpful.

Same here but it was my parents. It definitely counts as help! We paid ours back as soon as our starter home sold.

[Anonymous]

Yes. We received 570k in gifts from both sides of our family. 500k went into down payment on a 950k house. We used the balance towards renovations. Our large down payment and low interest rates have given us a ton of financial flexibly and was game changing for us. We are very thankful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No, we did not get any help from our parents. Bought a 1.1 million dollar home and put $200,000. I’m proud of us!

Are you saying that you'd be less proud of your parents helped you? Why? What else should rich parents do with their money?

This---if your parents have the money, why wouldn't they help their kids? They cannot take the money with them. Gifting it to the kids/GK NOW has much more life impact than waiting until they are 80+ and dead

What is there to be proud of yourself for? You can be happy with it but there’s nothing you personally did to achieve and be proud of yourself for. You were just born into money.

You are overestimating this pride thing.

+1

I don’t think most people care about having “pride” in saving up a downpayment.

I mean if you do manage to come from nothing and scrimp/save to get on the property ladder that is something to be proud of. But I wouldn’t turn down help from my parents just so we could experience saving for it on our own.

In fact because of family help we managed to buy a home pre-pandemic and then refinance to a 2.75% rate. If we had waited to save up the entire DP on our own, we would have completely been priced out of our neighborhood. So I’m very appreciative that my parents were in a position to help DH and me attain home ownership earlier on in our careers/we don’t have to worry about moving our kids. Just like many parents want to help send their kids to college, many also want to help them buy a home so they can have more opportunities in life.

[Anonymous]

Yes. My parents gave me $50k to help me buy my 1st house 24 years ago. It was $265k. I still own the house as a rental and the current value is $700k.

[Anonymous]

We put down $50,000 from DH's family for our first house - bought it for $285, sold it for $410 five years later (2000), bought our current house for $585,000 and it is now worth (on Zillow) 1.7-1.9 M. We did pay for a major renovation, so this is not as good as it seems. We are trying to help our kids the same way but today's equivalent would be more than double for the same sort of starter property.

[Anonymous]

I purchased my first home at 29 with zero support and a paltry housewarming gift from my parents (the gift cost less than $50). I purchased my second home at 43, again with zero help. I have great parents, but they've never given me financial support, mostly emotional.

[Anonymous]

We had $10k from a grandparent that we used towards our first home in 1993. It was a new 2 bedroom townhome and about $93k. About 8 years later we sold it for $109k (IIRC) and bought a small, new 3 bedroom, one car garage SFH for $209k. In 2009 we sold that house for $299k and purchased our current home for $428k. The current Zestimate is $747k.

[Anonymous]

No help for me but helped my younger sibling buy with my own money though. Kinda forced her into a house because rates were good and at her salary at the time I was worried that if she didn’t get one then that she’d never be able to afford one otherwise and also how she would be able to retire comfortably. Mission accomplished