Did you get parental help to buy any houses you own?

[Anonymous]

No family help for buying any of our houses, but our parents paid for college so no undergrad loans.

We now own our third house, worth about 600k, in our 50s.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People are so weird about this.

I know people who will proudly say they didn't get any parental help to buy their home, when their downpayment was funded by a 100k inheritance from a grandparent. I mean, okay, not technically parental help but obviously they didn't save up the downpayment themselves.

I know other people who get super defensive about the help their parents gave them. Why? Like, don't brag about it, but you don't have to be defensive. It is what it is.

But conversely some people DO brag and I don't get that either. Good job having wealthy parents or grandparents? I mean -- grow up.

Some people either save their entire downpayment themselves, or simply do not buy a home because they can't put one together. I do think it's impressive when people are able to buy a home with no boost from family because it can be very hard to save a large sum of money like that when you are still young. Like saving 100k in your 50s might not seem like a big deal, but doing it in your 20s/early 30s, when you are still just starting out in life, can be incredibly hard. Those folks do deserve extra kudos. It's not a moral judgement, it's just like -- wow, good on you, that required some discipline and patience that someone whose parents cut them a check didn't need to have. It's like congratulating someone for running a marathon or becoming fluent in a foreign language. It's impressive. Give them their roses.

You had me until the very end. It's not just "very hard" for some people to save that kind of money in their 20s and 30s -- it's literally impossible no matter how much "discipline and patience" you have unless you have a high paying job. You can't get blood from a stone, so to speak. You have to make a choice on how to get that money in the first place, and generally speaking the higher paying jobs at that age require selling out to The Man.

When I see two kids in their 20s, both working hard but one making far more money than the other by selling out, I'm not any more impressed with the higher earner. That's all I'm saying.

Selling out to The Man? What are you even talking about. First, there are a wide range of jobs that are high paid i doing many in the medical industry.

What is your career path and your childrens’? I find it so strange you keep bringing this concept of selling out up. You do understand a career isn’t a hobby and many people work for money to support themselves and provide for their family.

[Anonymous]

100k deposit from my parents when we bought our first apartment in 2004. We have paid them back.

[Anonymous]

I’m interested if those who had help with a downpayment will be able to do the same for their kids.
Seems to me if you had your college paid for by your parents, you should strive to do the same for your kids, similarly to getting help with a down payment, you should really try to do the same for your kids. Otherwise it is clear that the generational wealth is drying up and you haven’t done your part

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m interested if those who had help with a downpayment will be able to do the same for their kids.
Seems to me if you had your college paid for by your parents, you should strive to do the same for your kids, similarly to getting help with a down payment, you should really try to do the same for your kids. Otherwise it is clear that the generational wealth is drying up and you haven’t done your part

Yes but the reality is in most cases the wealth is gone in 1-2 generations. It’s the norm not to work as hard or be as motivated to preserve it if you didn’t have any skin in the game in earning it. Nothing kills motivation or potential like having a pretty big financial cushion to fall on. It’s simply human nature.

[Anonymous]

10k loan after we depleted pretty much everything we had to make the 80k downpayment.

[Anonymous]

No.
House was 650K, now worth 1,1M

[Anonymous]

I’m the poster with 1.4 NW above.

Grandparents gifted us the DP help.

I’d love to help with DP for our kids, but we are having to be both parents and grandparents for our kids so that will be more difficult for us. Trying to teach them to invest so they will generate their own DP from that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m the poster with 1.4 NW above.

Grandparents gifted us the DP help.

I’d love to help with DP for our kids, but we are having to be both parents and grandparents for our kids so that will be more difficult for us. Trying to teach them to invest so they will generate their own DP from that.

What does that mean being parents and grandparents? Like your own parents passed away so they don’t have grandparents?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m interested if those who had help with a downpayment will be able to do the same for their kids.
Seems to me if you had your college paid for by your parents, you should strive to do the same for your kids, similarly to getting help with a down payment, you should really try to do the same for your kids. Otherwise it is clear that the generational wealth is drying up and you haven’t done your part

In the only child poster from upthread whose parents have helped me while they’re still living instead of giving it all to me as an inheritance.

I 100% plan to pay for my kids’ college and grad school. Hope to be able to pay for weddings and help with down payments. But of course will expect them to be hardworking in their own right and to have their own incomes to support themselves. We also already talk about saving/investing/compounding interest etc.

My parents grew up in poverty, like my dad’s family of 4 lived in a 1 BR apt in a blue collar town. It’s been his dream to give me a better life and now see his grandchildren grow up with an UMC lifestyle in a well educated area.

But according to some PPs I should have said no to his money.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People are so weird about this.

I know people who will proudly say they didn't get any parental help to buy their home, when their downpayment was funded by a 100k inheritance from a grandparent. I mean, okay, not technically parental help but obviously they didn't save up the downpayment themselves.

I know other people who get super defensive about the help their parents gave them. Why? Like, don't brag about it, but you don't have to be defensive. It is what it is.

But conversely some people DO brag and I don't get that either. Good job having wealthy parents or grandparents? I mean -- grow up.

Some people either save their entire downpayment themselves, or simply do not buy a home because they can't put one together. I do think it's impressive when people are able to buy a home with no boost from family because it can be very hard to save a large sum of money like that when you are still young. Like saving 100k in your 50s might not seem like a big deal, but doing it in your 20s/early 30s, when you are still just starting out in life, can be incredibly hard. Those folks do deserve extra kudos. It's not a moral judgement, it's just like -- wow, good on you, that required some discipline and patience that someone whose parents cut them a check didn't need to have. It's like congratulating someone for running a marathon or becoming fluent in a foreign language. It's impressive. Give them their roses.

You had me until the very end. It's not just "very hard" for some people to save that kind of money in their 20s and 30s -- it's literally impossible no matter how much "discipline and patience" you have unless you have a high paying job. You can't get blood from a stone, so to speak. You have to make a choice on how to get that money in the first place, and generally speaking the higher paying jobs at that age require selling out to The Man.

When I see two kids in their 20s, both working hard but one making far more money than the other by selling out, I'm not any more impressed with the higher earner. That's all I'm saying.

This is so strange. How did the parents accumulate all the wealth without selling out to the man? What high paying work is acceptable to you? If a 20 something starts a tech company and makes big $$$s…is that not acceptable?

So your answer is to give your kids an allowance?

[Anonymous]

Yeah they gave me 3000 when I bought my first townhouse in 2001.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m interested if those who had help with a downpayment will be able to do the same for their kids.
Seems to me if you had your college paid for by your parents, you should strive to do the same for your kids, similarly to getting help with a down payment, you should really try to do the same for your kids. Otherwise it is clear that the generational wealth is drying up and you haven’t done your part

Yes but the reality is in most cases the wealth is gone in 1-2 generations. It’s the norm not to work as hard or be as motivated to preserve it if you didn’t have any skin in the game in earning it. Nothing kills motivation or potential like having a pretty big financial cushion to fall on. It’s simply human nature.

You’re acting like everyone who has received and will give family help are wealthy trust funders raising lazy kids who will blow through the family wealth.

But I think most people who are posting that they received help are saying they got maybe $100-200k. That gets you on the property ladder or maybe upgraded compared to what they could have bought. They still have to make the monthly payment, do repairs, etc.

Helping set up your adult children with an education and buying property is a very MC to UMC tradition.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m interested if those who had help with a downpayment will be able to do the same for their kids.
Seems to me if you had your college paid for by your parents, you should strive to do the same for your kids, similarly to getting help with a down payment, you should really try to do the same for your kids. Otherwise it is clear that the generational wealth is drying up and you haven’t done your part

Yes but the reality is in most cases the wealth is gone in 1-2 generations. It’s the norm not to work as hard or be as motivated to preserve it if you didn’t have any skin in the game in earning it. Nothing kills motivation or potential like having a pretty big financial cushion to fall on. It’s simply human nature.

You’re acting like everyone who has received and will give family help are wealthy trust funders raising lazy kids who will blow through the family wealth.

But I think most people who are posting that they received help are saying they got maybe $100-200k. That gets you on the property ladder or maybe upgraded compared to what they could have bought. They still have to make the monthly payment, do repairs, etc.

Helping set up your adult children with an education and buying property is a very MC to UMC tradition.

Yeah…not a MC tradition considering almost no truly MC people have the money to do this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Did you get parental support (trust fund or DP help)?
How much is your current home/s worth?

Nope

1st Home: $2.3 M value
2nd Home: 3.5M value

Paid for in cash