If someone guesses your nationality or race wrong do you get offended?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A few weeks back, I asked a guy who interacts with me at work but doesn't directly work with me if he had plans to attend an upcoming conference.

The conference was geared toward African American employees; I am AA, and I assumed he was too. He looked confused by my question and then said no. While he does have a very light complexion, I assumed he was Black. The confused look he gave answered my question.

I meant no harm and was just making light convo.

Mike Tirico?

[Anonymous]

Cousin's crazy ex-husband complained about being mistaken for Hispanic, when he was instead "pure Chinese".

I'm part Chinese and from the particular Asian country from which he hails and he didn't look at all Chinese. But he sure did look Hispanic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A few weeks back, I asked a guy who interacts with me at work but doesn't directly work with me if he had plans to attend an upcoming conference.

The conference was geared toward African American employees; I am AA, and I assumed he was too. He looked confused by my question and then said no. While he does have a very light complexion, I assumed he was Black. The confused look he gave answered my question.

I meant no harm and was just making light convo.

Do you know what his ethnicity is?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am Middle Eastern and people constantly assume I am Latina because I have similar coloring to someone like Salma Hayek. I am not offended; I just wish I paid more attention in high school Spanish.

Something horrible that I noticed especially after having children is that if I dared to go out looking less than stylish or with my hair curly people in stores would always speak to me in Spanish. If I am dressed up, makeup, with straight hair, always English. This made me feel very weird and I started making sure I look “nice” when I go out. After I lost about 30 pounds of baby weight no one ever speaks to me in Spanish anymore.

Salma Hayek does have Lebanese/Middle Eastern roots through her father and his parents.

[Anonymous]

Growing up, this convo drove me crazy:
Them: where are you from?
Me: city nearby
Them: no, where are you REALLY from?
Me: city nearby
Them: no, where were you born?
Me; other city nearby
Them: where are your parents from?
Me: ah ok. Lists countries

I could never understand why people couldn’t just ask what my heritage is. Id prefer people to even guess my heritage than the line of questioning I’d get.

[Anonymous]

Chinese people tend to assume East Asian looking people are all Chinese. They just walk up to you and start talking in Chinese. Being from a small country which was oppressed by China for thousands of years (there are many in the region), it bothers me. No one else from that region does that, only the Chinese.

[Anonymous]

No way. Why would I get offended?

I'm Latina and have gotten the whole gamut of guesses. Who cares?

[Anonymous]

I get offended when they guess it right.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am Middle Eastern and people constantly assume I am Latina because I have similar coloring to someone like Salma Hayek. I am not offended; I just wish I paid more attention in high school Spanish.

Something horrible that I noticed especially after having children is that if I dared to go out looking less than stylish or with my hair curly people in stores would always speak to me in Spanish. If I am dressed up, makeup, with straight hair, always English. This made me feel very weird and I started making sure I look “nice” when I go out. After I lost about 30 pounds of baby weight no one ever speaks to me in Spanish anymore.

Funny you say that because Salma Hayek is Middle Eastern.

I’m also from the MENA region and people always assume I’m Hispanic. Hispanics frequently speak to me in Spanish. But the funny thing is, I’ll meet strangers and think to myself “oh, they must be from my home country” but then I hear them speak Spanish. We all look the same!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m Australian and people often ask if I’m British. I don’t get too offended.

I often get called Australian by mistake. They apologize for offending me - something about convicts...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am Middle Eastern and people constantly assume I am Latina because I have similar coloring to someone like Salma Hayek. I am not offended; I just wish I paid more attention in high school Spanish.

Something horrible that I noticed especially after having children is that if I dared to go out looking less than stylish or with my hair curly people in stores would always speak to me in Spanish. If I am dressed up, makeup, with straight hair, always English. This made me feel very weird and I started making sure I look “nice” when I go out. After I lost about 30 pounds of baby weight no one ever speaks to me in Spanish anymore.

Funny you say that because Salma Hayek is Middle Eastern.

I’m also from the MENA region and people always assume I’m Hispanic. Hispanics frequently speak to me in Spanish. But the funny thing is, I’ll meet strangers and think to myself “oh, they must be from my home country” but then I hear them speak Spanish. We all look the same!

Haha, yeah the MENA folk spent about 700 years visiting Spain so that tracks.

[Anonymous]

My Jewish mother is frequently mistaken for Hispanic. Also, once my Guatemalan contractor described an interaction with "that Spanish lady" who could only have been my Jewish neighbor.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A few weeks back, I asked a guy who interacts with me at work but doesn't directly work with me if he had plans to attend an upcoming conference.

The conference was geared toward African American employees; I am AA, and I assumed he was too. He looked confused by my question and then said no. While he does have a very light complexion, I assumed he was Black. The confused look he gave answered my question.

I meant no harm and was just making light convo.

There is a girl we know who I always thought was biracial. Her mom was blonde and I assumed that the dad would be black. I was really surprised that the dad was white. Then I assumed that she must have been adopted as both her siblings are also blonde but this child looks mixed.

I once commented about adoption and the mom looked at me strangely. I’m not trying to guess ethnicity. I just thought the child is a different race from the mother and father so she must be adopted. There is no way the dad could be the genetic dad.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A few weeks back, I asked a guy who interacts with me at work but doesn't directly work with me if he had plans to attend an upcoming conference.

The conference was geared toward African American employees; I am AA, and I assumed he was too. He looked confused by my question and then said no. While he does have a very light complexion, I assumed he was Black. The confused look he gave answered my question.

I meant no harm and was just making light convo.

There is a girl we know who I always thought was biracial. Her mom was blonde and I assumed that the dad would be black. I was really surprised that the dad was white. Then I assumed that she must have been adopted as both her siblings are also blonde but this child looks mixed.

I once commented about adoption and the mom looked at me strangely. I’m not trying to guess ethnicity. I just thought the child is a different race from the mother and father so she must be adopted. There is no way the dad could be the genetic dad.

I might know the same family! I went through the same train of thought with them but never said anything and she's mentioned enough about inheriting certain traits that I know she isn't adopted (at least on mom's end)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A few weeks back, I asked a guy who interacts with me at work but doesn't directly work with me if he had plans to attend an upcoming conference.

The conference was geared toward African American employees; I am AA, and I assumed he was too. He looked confused by my question and then said no. While he does have a very light complexion, I assumed he was Black. The confused look he gave answered my question.

I meant no harm and was just making light convo.

There is a girl we know who I always thought was biracial. Her mom was blonde and I assumed that the dad would be black. I was really surprised that the dad was white. Then I assumed that she must have been adopted as both her siblings are also blonde but this child looks mixed.

I once commented about adoption and the mom looked at me strangely. I’m not trying to guess ethnicity. I just thought the child is a different race from the mother and father so she must be adopted. There is no way the dad could be the genetic dad.

I might know the same family! I went through the same train of thought with them but never said anything and she's mentioned enough about inheriting certain traits that I know she isn't adopted (at least on mom's end)

It is something I would never say to the family. I was with my close girlfriends and told them the story and my friends joked that the mailman was the father.

I have a friend who had an aunt who had four children. The aunt was married to the uncle and they had two kids. They got divorced or separated when kids were young. The aunt had a baby with a man of different race. Eventually the aunt and uncle got back together and had another child. Their family has 3 kids who have the same parents and one biracial kid.