Best age to have a baby?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Mid 30s

The only right answer.

I had 3 at: 34, 37, and 39. I now think 30-35 would have been best for all, knowing what I know now. I feel a little out of sorts with my youngest's classmates' parents.. Unless there is another family like me, but it seems like so many of his friends are the oldest in their family. I feel very old in comparison. But with my oldest I feel like I'm with my people when it comes to other school families.

[Anonymous]

25. We had family help and lived in a small apartment. Our housing and finances grew with the baby. My second one I was 31 years old.

I was never tired and can’t relate to moms being tired because of a new born baby with the exception of older moms or moms who have a heavy outside workload. At 40 I would be tired.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:25. We had family help and lived in a small apartment. Our housing and finances grew with the baby. My second one I was 31 years old.

I was never tired and can’t relate to moms being tired because of a new born baby with the exception of older moms or moms who have a heavy outside workload. At 40 I would be tired.

25 is much too young unless you are from generation where you would be near 80 years of age now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Oh no, not another forum for brunch granny to berate us for choosing to have children after age 35.

I am not brunch granny but it does seem that women over 35 are the ones who complain incessantly about their family not helping them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yeah the hate on 40 plus moms is strange here. I do find when people hate on others choices its because their own didn’t work out that well and they are trying to go back and justify their choices by tearing others down.

40 plus have a higher incidence of special needs which puts all of society on the hook for paying for them.

[Anonymous]

First around 29
Last around 33

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When you want and can care properly for them.

That will vary enormously by person. The right age for my first was 34 when I had achieved a career level that gave me six months of maternity leave and on-site childcare, as well as a plan to fully fund college.

I’m sure your kid will be thrilled to have student loan repayments hang over them for life so their mom could avoid being an “old mom”.

+1. I had my kids in my mid 20’s and early 30’s and and while it may have been physically easier, the detrimental effect it had on our finances and my career progression was so significant, I would not recommend this path to anyone, unless you have a very wealthy family that’s willing to help. I feel like this isn’t talked about enough here and instead there’s pages of posters berating people for being granny moms and having kids past 40.

Obviously money plays a role.

Right, so it’s obviously nasty and disingenuous of people to unfairly target older mothers who may have wanted to wait until they were financially stable to have kids.

I think the age of women should still be before 35 for at least first child.

This thread is about age of mother. The woman could be younger than the man.

DH is a year younger than me. I was earning around 200k at age 30 when we had our first. Dh was earning less. By the time I had my third, he was earning 500k.

I do think 25 is young because you haven’t established yourself at work yet.

Tons of professional women have babies in their twenties. They are superwomen but still they exist. And you don’t need a high income with babies. You need energy, time and a community.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:25. We had family help and lived in a small apartment. Our housing and finances grew with the baby. My second one I was 31 years old.

I was never tired and can’t relate to moms being tired because of a new born baby with the exception of older moms or moms who have a heavy outside workload. At 40 I would be tired.

25 is much too young unless you are from generation where you would be near 80 years of age now.

DP here. DH and I were 26. We are currently 42, so that makes us older millenials. No regrets. We had her a year after DH finished law school. I became a SAHM. Celebrating 20 years of marriage this year.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:25. We had family help and lived in a small apartment. Our housing and finances grew with the baby. My second one I was 31 years old.

I was never tired and can’t relate to moms being tired because of a new born baby with the exception of older moms or moms who have a heavy outside workload. At 40 I would be tired.

25 is much too young unless you are from generation where you would be near 80 years of age now.

DP here. DH and I were 26. We are currently 42, so that makes us older millenials. No regrets. We had her a year after DH finished law school. I became a SAHM. Celebrating 20 years of marriage this year.

Did you never have a career?

I would think someone like you would be in the biggest danger of divorce. He could leave you at any time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:25. We had family help and lived in a small apartment. Our housing and finances grew with the baby. My second one I was 31 years old.

I was never tired and can’t relate to moms being tired because of a new born baby with the exception of older moms or moms who have a heavy outside workload. At 40 I would be tired.

25 is much too young unless you are from generation where you would be near 80 years of age now.

DP here. DH and I were 26. We are currently 42, so that makes us older millenials. No regrets. We had her a year after DH finished law school. I became a SAHM. Celebrating 20 years of marriage this year.

Did you never have a career?

I would think someone like you would be in the biggest danger of divorce. He could leave you at any time.

I have a teaching degree and taught 4 years. I’d need to re-up it. I teach 1/2 day preschool now but that doesn’t require a teaching degree. It was riskier I guess when we were young. If he left now we’d split many millions of dollars in marital assets.

[Anonymous]

I was also 26 and have one teen now like the PP.

Much of the year I am probably sitting on the same bleachers or in the same auditorium as a bunch of you who insist that having a kid in your mid 20s is unfathomable. We're watching the same-aged same high-achieving children do whatever it is they're doing, with the same high-powered careers with great WFH balance from our same-ish nice 1M+ houses.

But I'm 42 and you're what, 50? 55?

That sounds mean but my point is: we all are gonna go what we're gonna do. So you got to travel the world and grow your career and bought your expensive house a decade before I did for less. Great. I get to travel and build wealth and have energy to go up the career ladder even more after I have an empty nest.

Who is to say what's better?

Also, the vast majority of non-DCUM America isn't building significant wealth or becoming a VP...ever. So having kids at 24 is a totally sensible move for them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think early 30s. It gives you your entire 20s to have fun, travel, learn things, settle, build finances.

Having kids early and counting on doing all the fun things when they start their own lives away from home is a gamble. You don’t know what your health or your spouses health will be like then.

Early 30s give your best opportunities at both ends of having kids. Young enough to be energetic and (hopefully) still in good health after they are gone to do whatever you’ve always wanted to do.

How do you have fun, travel, learn things and build finances in your 20s at the same time? These women who claim they had large incomes by 30 were not traveling and having fun. The early 20s is school related and can be a fun time but the late 20s you can go have fun or start working.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:25. We had family help and lived in a small apartment. Our housing and finances grew with the baby. My second one I was 31 years old.

I was never tired and can’t relate to moms being tired because of a new born baby with the exception of older moms or moms who have a heavy outside workload. At 40 I would be tired.

25 is much too young unless you are from generation where you would be near 80 years of age now.

25 is not too young anymore than 40 is too old.

[Anonymous]

I started trying at age 30 and didn’t have my first until 33. Then my second came easily when I was 35.

I think those ages worked out awesome. I’m not the youngest or oldest mom in elementary school. We had time trouble shoot a bit if my initial infertility had persisted.

But it really depends. If you’re settled and want them, almost anytime around 30 is a great time to start. And half the moms I know were 39-44 for their first or second kids.

[Anonymous]

29 with my first. It was awesome. Now 33 with my second. Hoping for our last at 36. I like that I have time to space them out at this age.