Private school parent small talk in December: EVERYONE bragging about upcoming ritzy trips

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The beauty of being a FA family is that we live in a neighborhood with families with similar lifestyles and incomes. So outside of school, no one we know is taking a trip that requires air travel. Do your kids not have friends closer to home? That's strange because everyone I know that is on FA have their people outside of school.

Not on FA, but most of the quote above also applies to us and our friends. We are unfailingly polite and civil to everyone, but our social lives are largely disjoint from the school scene.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:For those of you thinking it's bragging--

If you ask me "what are you guys doing over break?" and I'm a friend of yours and I say "oh nothing really, staying around here" and then you find out 2 weeks later than I actually went to Dublin or Paris with my 3 kids, wouldn't you find it odd or pretty much dishonest that I gave one answer but then went on a trip that was obviously not planned the last minute?

DP, but most of the time, it’s the people taking the ritzy trips who are the ones doing the asking — because when the person politely asks them in return, as is customary in polite conversation, it gives them a chance to respond “well, ACTUALLY, we’re going to Blah Blah Blah.”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Except us. We aren't poor but you can't help but feel a little on the prole side of upper middle class this time of year when you have to disclose, "No, no big trips. We're just staying home." It feels like every single private school parent you bump into is itching to sort of brag about and detail their vacation home or their upcoming ski trip or some ritzy beach destination. Anyone else feel this way this time of year?

Sweetie, it’s not a brag. They are just being matter-of-fact. Stop internalizing that shit. It’s a bad look.

Oops, you lost with the first word you typed. Impressive.

(not PP)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Except us. We aren't poor but you can't help but feel a little on the prole side of upper middle class this time of year when you have to disclose, "No, no big trips. We're just staying home." It feels like every single private school parent you bump into is itching to sort of brag about and detail their vacation home or their upcoming ski trip or some ritzy beach destination. Anyone else feel this way this time of year?

Is this a serious post? Get a grip. If you ask me a question about our Holliday plans, I will tell you honestly about our trip. I would hope that you would do the same.

There have been several years where we were "staying at home." Where is the shame in that?

It's absolutely ok to be excited for parents to travel to a fancy locale over the Hollidays or even their vacation home.

I'm not sure where your insecurity is coming from.

Not from being able to spell correctly

Hi. Sentences end with periods — you know, since we’re being insufferable pedants.

You’re welcome.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's just small talk. Nobody cares or remembers. The same question gets asked repeatedly as a filler question.

+1

My kids’ orthodontist asks the same question every visit, just swaps out the holiday- “Are you all traveling for spring break/4th of July/Labor Day/over the holidays?” It’s predictable. I view it as the modern equivalent of talking about the weather.

DP but same re: Orthodontist.

Some parents at school over the years ask *only* because they want to brag about their plans. You can tell when their eyes glaze over after they ask you, just waiting for their turn to speak. And then some others really want to know/small talk.

I would say 9 out of 10 parents ask this question every year, every break. DC is in 10th grade now, been having this same circular conversation since Kindergarten.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's just small talk. Nobody cares or remembers. The same question gets asked repeatedly as a filler question.

+1

My kids’ orthodontist asks the same question every visit, just swaps out the holiday- “Are you all traveling for spring break/4th of July/Labor Day/over the holidays?” It’s predictable. I view it as the modern equivalent of talking about the weather.

DP but same re: Orthodontist.

Some parents at school over the years ask *only* because they want to brag about their plans. You can tell when their eyes glaze over after they ask you, just waiting for their turn to speak. And then some others really want to know/small talk.

I would say 9 out of 10 parents ask this question every year, every break. DC is in 10th grade now, been having this same circular conversation since Kindergarten.

I worked at a pediatric dentist’s office and we were always careful with these sort of casually insensitive questions unless we knew the family was well-off. We talked about favorite junk food, popular tv shows and whether they have any papers due after the break. Just like teachers in some struggling public schools quit asking children to write about what they did/where they went over summer vacation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For those of you thinking it's bragging--

If you ask me "what are you guys doing over break?" and I'm a friend of yours and I say "oh nothing really, staying around here" and then you find out 2 weeks later than I actually went to Dublin or Paris with my 3 kids, wouldn't you find it odd or pretty much dishonest that I gave one answer but then went on a trip that was obviously not planned the last minute?

We have a place in Vail and we spend the entire winter there. When people ask what we're doing, I say we might travel out of town, but we're not sure. I'm European, so this might be cultural, but for us, anything that might look like bragging is very faux pas. My FIL is American and likes to brag about his homes, vacations, cars, career etc. For him, it's the pride for being successful.

Obviously, your opinion doesn't count here because you are not tied to the school schedule if you spend "all winter" there. You obviously don't have kids in a fancy private school. I do and am tied to the school schedule. BTW I have 2 condos in Vail and spend loads of time there. It's actually a cheap vacation for us. We own our own gear, buy the Vail local Epic pass in April, eat at home, and stay in our own place. We rent the condos when we don't use them. To us, this is not a "ritzy" vacation and nothing I feel I should hide from anyone. When people ask and they know me they usually say "are you skiing?" And I say "yeah, any travel plans?". We ski spring break and MLK weekend too. Only for family emergencies have we deviated from this pattern.

Sorry you have to rent your place and do dishes on vacation. Maybe, on day, your kids will afford to eat out while on vacation and not have strangers sleep in their beds.

It's not about the money. I'm rich but I identify as MC. And hence, I do MC things, like play board games on the holidays after skiing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

We have a place in Vail and we spend the entire winter there. When people ask what we're doing, I say we might travel out of town, but we're not sure. I'm European, so this might be cultural, but for us, anything that might look like bragging is very faux pas. My FIL is American and likes to brag about his homes, vacations, cars, career etc. For him, it's the pride for being successful.
___________

Obviously, your opinion doesn't count here because you are not tied to the school schedule if you spend "all winter" there. You obviously don't have kids in a fancy private school. I do and am tied to the school schedule. BTW I have 2 condos in Vail and spend loads of time there. It's actually a cheap vacation for us. We own our own gear, buy the Vail local Epic pass in April, eat at home, and stay in our own place. We rent the condos when we don't use them. To us, this is not a "ritzy" vacation and nothing I feel I should hide from anyone. When people ask and they know me they usually say "are you skiing?" And I say "yeah, any travel plans?". We ski spring break and MLK weekend too. Only for family emergencies have we deviated from this pattern.

I am here for this Vail cage match! Can we get someone with 3 Vail properties? Or Aspen? Aspen would trump, since it's not right on I-70.

Ha! I like you already. Aspen would trump, as would an actual home rather than condos - theres the whole STR zoning though. I also think Telluride is better too. It's actually my pre-retitement project, which is why it's not really fancy for me. I'm the one post-ski still in my thermals playing chess with the kids in the lounge - occasionally with a glass of wine I brought down from the condo. I'm too cheap to buy it at the bar.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

We have a place in Vail and we spend the entire winter there. When people ask what we're doing, I say we might travel out of town, but we're not sure. I'm European, so this might be cultural, but for us, anything that might look like bragging is very faux pas. My FIL is American and likes to brag about his homes, vacations, cars, career etc. For him, it's the pride for being successful.
___________

Obviously, your opinion doesn't count here because you are not tied to the school schedule if you spend "all winter" there. You obviously don't have kids in a fancy private school. I do and am tied to the school schedule. BTW I have 2 condos in Vail and spend loads of time there. It's actually a cheap vacation for us. We own our own gear, buy the Vail local Epic pass in April, eat at home, and stay in our own place. We rent the condos when we don't use them. To us, this is not a "ritzy" vacation and nothing I feel I should hide from anyone. When people ask and they know me they usually say "are you skiing?" And I say "yeah, any travel plans?". We ski spring break and MLK weekend too. Only for family emergencies have we deviated from this pattern.

I am here for this Vail cage match! Can we get someone with 3 Vail properties? Or Aspen? Aspen would trump, since it's not right on I-70.

+1

[Anonymous]

This tendency is killing the planet. The biosphere is collapsing.

+1, to brag about traveling only proves the ignorance of the braggart.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

We have a place in Vail and we spend the entire winter there. When people ask what we're doing, I say we might travel out of town, but we're not sure. I'm European, so this might be cultural, but for us, anything that might look like bragging is very faux pas. My FIL is American and likes to brag about his homes, vacations, cars, career etc. For him, it's the pride for being successful.
___________

Obviously, your opinion doesn't count here because you are not tied to the school schedule if you spend "all winter" there. You obviously don't have kids in a fancy private school. I do and am tied to the school schedule. BTW I have 2 condos in Vail and spend loads of time there. It's actually a cheap vacation for us. We own our own gear, buy the Vail local Epic pass in April, eat at home, and stay in our own place. We rent the condos when we don't use them. To us, this is not a "ritzy" vacation and nothing I feel I should hide from anyone. When people ask and they know me they usually say "are you skiing?" And I say "yeah, any travel plans?". We ski spring break and MLK weekend too. Only for family emergencies have we deviated from this pattern.

I am here for this Vail cage match! Can we get someone with 3 Vail properties? Or Aspen? Aspen would trump, since it's not right on I-70.

Ha! I like you already. Aspen would trump, as would an actual home rather than condos - theres the whole STR zoning though. I also think Telluride is better too. It's actually my pre-retitement project, which is why it's not really fancy for me. I'm the one post-ski still in my thermals playing chess with the kids in the lounge - occasionally with a glass of wine I brought down from the condo. I'm too cheap to buy it at the bar.

Telluride is not on the level of Vail and Vail is not Aspen. Aspen trumps all! I don't think I would ever be in a social circle of someone with an Aspen home but I've known several at the others.
Vail homes now are 2-3million for a duplex half that is only available to you on certain weeks, who goes for those plans?!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

We have a place in Vail and we spend the entire winter there. When people ask what we're doing, I say we might travel out of town, but we're not sure. I'm European, so this might be cultural, but for us, anything that might look like bragging is very faux pas. My FIL is American and likes to brag about his homes, vacations, cars, career etc. For him, it's the pride for being successful.
___________

Obviously, your opinion doesn't count here because you are not tied to the school schedule if you spend "all winter" there. You obviously don't have kids in a fancy private school. I do and am tied to the school schedule. BTW I have 2 condos in Vail and spend loads of time there. It's actually a cheap vacation for us. We own our own gear, buy the Vail local Epic pass in April, eat at home, and stay in our own place. We rent the condos when we don't use them. To us, this is not a "ritzy" vacation and nothing I feel I should hide from anyone. When people ask and they know me they usually say "are you skiing?" And I say "yeah, any travel plans?". We ski spring break and MLK weekend too. Only for family emergencies have we deviated from this pattern.

I am here for this Vail cage match! Can we get someone with 3 Vail properties? Or Aspen? Aspen would trump, since it's not right on I-70.

Ha! I like you already. Aspen would trump, as would an actual home rather than condos - theres the whole STR zoning though. I also think Telluride is better too. It's actually my pre-retitement project, which is why it's not really fancy for me. I'm the one post-ski still in my thermals playing chess with the kids in the lounge - occasionally with a glass of wine I brought down from the condo. I'm too cheap to buy it at the bar.

Telluride is not on the level of Vail and Vail is not Aspen. Aspen trumps all! I don't think I would ever be in a social circle of someone with an Aspen home but I've known several at the others.
Vail homes now are 2-3million for a duplex half that is only available to you on certain weeks, who goes for those plans?!

Disagree! Telluride is awesome skiing. That where the real skiing is. True not as fancy as Aspen. I struggle to think of any other resort that is. Even Jackson falls short in ritziness.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

We have a place in Vail and we spend the entire winter there. When people ask what we're doing, I say we might travel out of town, but we're not sure. I'm European, so this might be cultural, but for us, anything that might look like bragging is very faux pas. My FIL is American and likes to brag about his homes, vacations, cars, career etc. For him, it's the pride for being successful.
___________

Obviously, your opinion doesn't count here because you are not tied to the school schedule if you spend "all winter" there. You obviously don't have kids in a fancy private school. I do and am tied to the school schedule. BTW I have 2 condos in Vail and spend loads of time there. It's actually a cheap vacation for us. We own our own gear, buy the Vail local Epic pass in April, eat at home, and stay in our own place. We rent the condos when we don't use them. To us, this is not a "ritzy" vacation and nothing I feel I should hide from anyone. When people ask and they know me they usually say "are you skiing?" And I say "yeah, any travel plans?". We ski spring break and MLK weekend too. Only for family emergencies have we deviated from this pattern.

I am here for this Vail cage match! Can we get someone with 3 Vail properties? Or Aspen? Aspen would trump, since it's not right on I-70.

Ha! I like you already. Aspen would trump, as would an actual home rather than condos - theres the whole STR zoning though. I also think Telluride is better too. It's actually my pre-retitement project, which is why it's not really fancy for me. I'm the one post-ski still in my thermals playing chess with the kids in the lounge - occasionally with a glass of wine I brought down from the condo. I'm too cheap to buy it at the bar.

Telluride is not on the level of Vail and Vail is not Aspen. Aspen trumps all! I don't think I would ever be in a social circle of someone with an Aspen home but I've known several at the others.
Vail homes now are 2-3million for a duplex half that is only available to you on certain weeks, who goes for those plans?!

Disagree! Telluride is awesome skiing. That where the real skiing is. True not as fancy as Aspen. I struggle to think of any other resort that is. Even Jackson falls short in ritziness.

The real rich ski at Yellowstone Club.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

We have a place in Vail and we spend the entire winter there. When people ask what we're doing, I say we might travel out of town, but we're not sure. I'm European, so this might be cultural, but for us, anything that might look like bragging is very faux pas. My FIL is American and likes to brag about his homes, vacations, cars, career etc. For him, it's the pride for being successful.
___________

Obviously, your opinion doesn't count here because you are not tied to the school schedule if you spend "all winter" there. You obviously don't have kids in a fancy private school. I do and am tied to the school schedule. BTW I have 2 condos in Vail and spend loads of time there. It's actually a cheap vacation for us. We own our own gear, buy the Vail local Epic pass in April, eat at home, and stay in our own place. We rent the condos when we don't use them. To us, this is not a "ritzy" vacation and nothing I feel I should hide from anyone. When people ask and they know me they usually say "are you skiing?" And I say "yeah, any travel plans?". We ski spring break and MLK weekend too. Only for family emergencies have we deviated from this pattern.

I am here for this Vail cage match! Can we get someone with 3 Vail properties? Or Aspen? Aspen would trump, since it's not right on I-70.

Ha! I like you already. Aspen would trump, as would an actual home rather than condos - theres the whole STR zoning though. I also think Telluride is better too. It's actually my pre-retitement project, which is why it's not really fancy for me. I'm the one post-ski still in my thermals playing chess with the kids in the lounge - occasionally with a glass of wine I brought down from the condo. I'm too cheap to buy it at the bar.

Telluride is not on the level of Vail and Vail is not Aspen. Aspen trumps all! I don't think I would ever be in a social circle of someone with an Aspen home but I've known several at the others.
Vail homes now are 2-3million for a duplex half that is only available to you on certain weeks, who goes for those plans?!

If you're referring to timeshares, yeah, I don't know who goes for that. They're a total rip off because one has to pay astronomical HOAs for limited use and you can't even store your gear there. We bought our first condo in 2013 when the prices were extremely low. It was the same time we bought our home in NW DC, so we took a slightly larger loan for the primary property and paid cash in Vail. It was pure luck what happened in both markets.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

We have a place in Vail and we spend the entire winter there. When people ask what we're doing, I say we might travel out of town, but we're not sure. I'm European, so this might be cultural, but for us, anything that might look like bragging is very faux pas. My FIL is American and likes to brag about his homes, vacations, cars, career etc. For him, it's the pride for being successful.
___________

Obviously, your opinion doesn't count here because you are not tied to the school schedule if you spend "all winter" there. You obviously don't have kids in a fancy private school. I do and am tied to the school schedule. BTW I have 2 condos in Vail and spend loads of time there. It's actually a cheap vacation for us. We own our own gear, buy the Vail local Epic pass in April, eat at home, and stay in our own place. We rent the condos when we don't use them. To us, this is not a "ritzy" vacation and nothing I feel I should hide from anyone. When people ask and they know me they usually say "are you skiing?" And I say "yeah, any travel plans?". We ski spring break and MLK weekend too. Only for family emergencies have we deviated from this pattern.

I am here for this Vail cage match! Can we get someone with 3 Vail properties? Or Aspen? Aspen would trump, since it's not right on I-70.

Ha! I like you already. Aspen would trump, as would an actual home rather than condos - theres the whole STR zoning though. I also think Telluride is better too. It's actually my pre-retitement project, which is why it's not really fancy for me. I'm the one post-ski still in my thermals playing chess with the kids in the lounge - occasionally with a glass of wine I brought down from the condo. I'm too cheap to buy it at the bar.

Telluride is not on the level of Vail and Vail is not Aspen. Aspen trumps all! I don't think I would ever be in a social circle of someone with an Aspen home but I've known several at the others.
Vail homes now are 2-3million for a duplex half that is only available to you on certain weeks, who goes for those plans?!

Disagree! Telluride is awesome skiing. That where the real skiing is. True not as fancy as Aspen. I struggle to think of any other resort that is. Even Jackson falls short in ritziness.

The real rich ski at Yellowstone Club.

Ah, yes, I forgot about that one!